[Note: this article is about quitting smoking, but the same principles apply to many forms of addiction.]
Stop kidding yourself. You’re not ready to quit. And that’s okay. The sooner you admit that you’re not ready, the sooner you’ll be able to quit once and for all.
I smoked for over 10 years. A pack a day for most of that time. And I tried to quit 14 times. Some attempts lasted a few days. Others lasted as long as 9 months. But all 14 attempts had one thing in common — I wasn’t ready.
“It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times.” – Mark Twain
Not convinced? Still think you’re ready? Fine. Then answer this question:
If your answer was “no,” or if you found yourself arguing with the question, then you’re not ready. But I already knew your answer. How did I know? Because you’re reading this article.
I’ve helped dozens of students to successfully quit smoking. If you follow the steps below, then you’ll succeed too. And you won’t have to fail 14 times like I did.
Step 1: Admit It
You’re an addict. There’s no shame in admitting that. I am an addict too. And I quit smoking years ago!
So why do I still call myself an addict? Once an addict, always an addict. Especially with nicotine, the king of addictions.
During one attempted quit, let’s call it attempt #5, I actually picked up someone’s half-smoked cigarette from the ground. It was surreal, as if I wasn’t in control of my actions. I stopped myself midway, as if waking from a nightmare, but wow — that’s addiction!
I can admit that I’m an addict. Can you?
Step 2: Know Thy Enemy
Nicotine is powerful stuff. It crosses the blood-brain barrier and messes with your dopamine pathways. After years of smoking, those pathways get altered. In other words, smoking physically changes your brain.
If you’ve been smoking for a few years, then your brain has been conditioned to responded to nicotine. Think about how many cigarettes, day in and day out, you’ve smoked. That’s a lot of training. No wonder your brain changed.
Can those dopamine pathways heal? Probably. I agree with Dr. Rankin that there is “no such thing as an incurable illness”, and I’ve seen the incredible power of self-healing in myself and thousands of students.
But when it comes to nicotine, it can take years to heal those pathways. So it’s a conundrum. By the time your dopamine pathways heal, by the time you MIGHT be able to take a drag without getting addicted, you’ll no longer have any desire to do so.
Step 3: Know Thyself
I can sit in a bar, surrounded by smokers, and have zero desire to smoke. If someone offers me a cigarette, I say “I don’t smoke” without hesitation, and without a second thought. Even when major stresses come into my life, I still don’t feel any urge to go buy a pack.
So I’m “cured” of smoking, right? Yes. But you know what? Even after all these years without a cigarette, even with my daily Qigong and Tai Chi practice, even with all the acupuncture I’ve received — I’m still not sure if my dopamine pathways are 100% back to normal.
And it doesn’t matter. Because I’m not going to find out. Even after all these years as an ex-smoker, I believe that a single drag might be enough to reignite the dopamine pathways and send me right back into addiction. That belief, whether it’s true or not, serves me well. It helps me in my mission to remain smoke free.
I’m an addict, and I understand the addictive nature of nicotine. I’ll never take another puff in my life. I won’t risk it. Period.
Step 4: Make Peace
Are you bargaining in your mind? Are you trying to rationalize a future where you can smoke cigarettes now and then? If so — forget it. That’s the addiction talking. Once you break the addiction, you’ll think much more clearly.
You don’t have to quit now (we’ll get to that part soon). But once you do, you can’t smoke ever again. Make peace with that. You don’t have to like this advice, but for your own sake, you should make peace with it.
If you do the research, you’ll find that all ex-smokers agree on this issue. All of us have one thing in common — we’re completely done with smoking. That chapter is over.
What about those people who can just smoke on weekends? Personally, I think they may be aliens in disguise. I’m not sure that they’re human. Certainly, they are not addicted like you are, or like I was. They aren’t REAL smokers.
I desperately wanted to believe that I could be like them, and I tried really hard to do it. But it didn’t work. At least 8 of my quit attempts failed because I tried to smoke “just now and then”.
It doesn’t work. Ask any ex-smoker. The next time you quit, it’s got to be forever.
Step 5: Quit Quitting.
Now for the fun part. If you’ve been stressed out thinking about never smoking again, then relax. You’re not quitting now. In fact, I want you to quit quitting.
The next time you quit will be the last. Until then, you’re going to continue smoking — and you’re going to do it completely guilt free.
Right now, there are too many negative emotions surrounding the act of smoking. Guilt, shame, anger, worry, fear. In the world of Chinese medicine, those emotions represent energy blockages. You need to start clearing those blockages BEFORE you try to quit smoking.
If you’re constantly trying to quit, and constantly failing, then there’s never a chance to clear those blockages. You’re spinning your tires in the mud. You’re just reinforcing negative emotions, and making it harder and harder to actually quit.
Quitting smoking is stressful. Of course, smoking is also your way of de-stressing. If you quit too many times, you’re creating more stress than you’re eliminating. You may actually be lowering your stress threshold rather than raising it.
Step 6: Enjoy Smoking
If you’re reading this article, then you’ve probably gotten to the point where you hardly enjoy smoking any more. You smoke because you’re addicted, because of the habit, because you would feel terrible if you didn’t smoke. Gone are the days when you truly enjoy smoking.
We need to reclaim that. I know it’s counter-intuitive. But if hating smoking made it easier to quit smoking, you would have quit already, right?
So I’m giving you a free pass. For the next 3-12 months, you’re going to smoke guilt free. In fact, you’re NOT ALLOWED to quit smoking for at least 3 months. If anyone questions you, tell them that Sifu Anthony said so, and they should take it up with me. (It’s okay. I know Tai Chi.)
For 3 months, I want you to savor each cigarette. Be present. Smile from the heart, if you know how. Be here and now. Notice the cigarette, the color of the cherry, the feel of the drag, the shape of the smoke. That’s Zen.
Here’s what’s NOT Zen. Lighting a cigarette and smoking half of it without hardly noticing. And then needing to smoke another one immediately after because you missed the first one.
It’s critical that you don’t feel guilty. Guilt just creates a negative loop. You feel bad, and then you want to smoke more, and then you feel worse, so you smoke more. You need to break the cycle, and the way to do that is by feeling good.
Step 7: Add Good Habits
In this article here, I talked about why most people fail with their New Year’s Resolutions. They fail because they try to subtract bad habits rather than adding good one. Don’t make the same mistake.
Don’t take anything away. Add good habits first. The article above gives some examples of good habits that you can add, like walking, practicing gratitude, etc. Make sure to read the article. In many ways, it’s a companion piece to this article. Here’s the link again.
For the purposes of this article, we’re going to focus on 1 main habit: The 2-Minute Drill. It’s easy. And it only takes 2 minutes.
The link above tells you everything you need to start doing the 2-Minute Drill on your own. Eventually, I strongly recommend that you learn Qigong face-to-face. Learning from a website is a good start, but it’s not enough. Go find a teacher (but keep an eye out for bad ones).
Learn the 2-Minute Drill ASAP. If you’re not going to learn it right this instant, then schedule a time to learn it. I’m serious. If you finish this article without scheduling a time, then no matter how good your intentions, you won’t do it. So put it on your calendar right now.
You first goal is to do the 2-Minute Drill twice a day, once in the morning, and again at night. That’s harder than it sounds. You’ll probably be okay for a few days, but then you’ll forget. Keep trying until you succeed in doing it every day for 30 days.
Step 8: Set a Date
Keep smoking, and enjoying yourself, until you have made the 2-Minute Drill as a daily habit. All of that enthusiasm and energy you periodically have toward quitting — put all of it into the 2-Minute Drill. It’s not time to quit yet.
Once you’ve managed to do 30 days of the 2-Minute Drill (and not before), then you can think about setting a quit date. There’s never a perfect time. You’re going to be an absolute mess for a few weeks after you quit. But you’ve got to do it sooner or later.
Remember, this next attempt at quitting is going to be your last one ever. No more trying. Do or do not.
Set the date far enough in advance that you can continue to do two things for a few more months — enjoy smoking, and practice the 2-Minute Drill. So let’s say that you’ve successfully done the 2-Minute Drill for 30 days. You decide to set your quit day 3 months down the road. Until that day, you’re going to continue smoking, and continue doing the 2-Minute Drill.
Step 9: Get Ready
With your quit date set, you have time to get yourself ready. Gradually start to arrange things for that day. For example, collect all of the ashtrays in your house, and throw out all but one. Tell people that you’re going to quit. Obviously, you’ll also need to get rid of all your extra cigarettes.
I’m a big fan of the acupuncture protocol called NADA (National Acupuncture Detoxification Association). If you’re in Gainesville, my wife offers it at her clinic for $20-35 per session. You should start doing this roughly 1-2 weeks BEFORE your quit day. (If you’re not in Gainesville, then look for a NADA practitioner near you.) This will help you to get ready for the big day.
But most importantly, get your heart and mind ready for the big day. You’re gradually psyching yourself up, reminding yourself of all the reasons you want to quit.
Step 10: Say Goodbye
So the big day is approaching. You’ve told all your friends so that they can support you (and not tempt you, if they’re smokers). You’ve gotten the house ready. You’ve gotten rid of all but a few cigarettes.
This is a personal choice, but I’m a big believer in the power of ritual. I still remember the last cigarette that I smoked. I made a little ritual out of it, and said goodbye, as if saying goodbye at a funeral.
I recommend that you smoke your last cigarette at night. That way, you can wake up the next morning and start fresh. And that’s exactly what you’re going to get — a fresh start on life.
Step 11: Go Cold Turkey
Forget the patch. Forget the gum. Cold turkey is the only way to go. Again, just ask ex-smokers, and the successful ones all agree — go cold turkey.
I’m not going to sugar-coat it for you. It’s going be rough for a few weeks. You’re going to go through withdrawal from one of the most addictive substances known to man. But that’s a necessary part of the process.
The suffering that you experience during the withdrawal is part of the equation. Don’t wimp out of this step with the patch or something similar. Going through the hell of withdrawal is necessary. A few months down the road, when you’re craving a cigarette, you’ll remember how awful it was when you went cold turkey. Because of that memory, you’ll be less likely to go backward, and more likely to go forward.
Use your tools, especially the 2-Minute Drill. It will be your life vest. It will also help you to detox faster. During the first 2 weeks, you may need to do it 10 times a day, or even more.
Don’t expect the 2-Minute Drill to make everything okay. You won’t be okay. You’ll probably be miserable. But the 2-Minute Drill will make it tolerable, and give you the strength to get through.
(A small percentage of people don’t experience the hell of withdrawal. This has advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that it’s easier to quit. The disadvantage is that it’s easier to start up again. If you’re one of these people, then you need to stay vigilant, especially 3-6 months after you quit.)
Step 12: Visualize the Future
Maybe I should have started with this part. Do you start with the good news, or the bad news? In this case, I started with the bad news. So here’s the good news.
Once you make peace with never taking another puff, and once you get through those first few months, once you quit for good — life becomes beautiful. All those little things that you’re worrying about now — how you’ll drink coffee without a cigarette, how you’ll go to a bar, what you’ll do after a meal — all of that stuff will seem trivial once you’ve broken the cycle of addiction.
Take it from me — it’s worth it. You haven’t felt so alive in years.
I know that, from where you’re standing, it’s hard to imagine life without cigarettes. But take it from an ex-smoker. From where I’m standing, it’s hard to imagine life WITH cigarettes. Like I said, that chapter is over for me. My life is so much fuller and richer now that there’s absolutely no need for me to smoke again. Not ever. Not even one puff.
Let’s use the comments below as a community support group. Those of you who have already quit, please post your stories below. And those of you who are getting ready to quit — come back to this article and post your thoughts, questions, and concerns whenever you need a little help. I’m here for you.
If you haven’t already downloaded your free ebooks and free audio lesson, then make sure to grab them here.
Zenfully yours,
Sifu Anthony
Sifu Anthony Korahais used Qigong to overcome clinical depression, aching low-back pain, chronic bronchitis, and a heart murmur. He is the founder and director of the Flowing Zen Center in Gainesville, Florida, and an internationally recognized teacher in the world of energy arts. To contact Sifu Anthony directly, click here.
I have never smoked, and never will. But insofar as taking an approach to and having an attitude toward an addiction–this is genius.
Have you been reading my mind again? I’ve tried all ways and many times to quit smoking – I know I’m strong enough to do it because I’ve already quit addictions to alcohol (not one drop for over 40 years) and prescription pain killers (legitimate use). But you are so right, every time I fail makes it harder and harder to even attempt. My heart tells me you’re right in your approach. I’m already getting the acupuncture treatments and will do as you prescribe and keep you posted.
Thank you for the fresh take on the whole thing!
Sifu speaks the truth.
I smoked for twenty years and seriously quit about five times, once for nearly three years. I used the patch or chewed the gum and each time I quit I was miserable, felt deprived and depressed, not just for weeks, but for months on end.
I was also envious of every smoker I saw–deep in my bones jealous, almost angry that I couldn’t light up. And the dreams. I constantly had smoking dreams. All that thinking about cigarettes was exhausting.
Until the last time I quit.
The last time I quit it was easy. I actually ENJOYED quitting. I imagined the withdrawal as a strange flu and treated myself gently for a week, but my relationship with nicotine was over the second I put out that last cigarette. I was not depressed, I was not envious of smokers and I no longer obsessed about cigarettes. I was free and it was awesome.
Though this happened long before I met him or learned of Qigong, so many things Sifu outlines above were a part of the plan I used to quit. That I gave myself permission to smoke meaningfully and not mindlessly until I was ready was key. That I had a method was key. That I had a ritual was key. That I quit cold turkey was key.
Sifu says, “… once you quit for good — life becomes beautiful.”
He is so right on.
If any needs a quit buddy, I’m available. I enjoyed quitting so much that I love helping and encouraging others to have that same awesome and freeing experience.
This is a good post if the addiction is something you want to get rid of. For example, if you are addicted to happiness, (which I am proud to say I’m addicted to,) then this blog post is likely not for you.
Correction: This blog post is likely not for you if you are addicted to happiness, or love.
I’ve never smoked for years, or even for more than for a few months, so I’m not sure if my experience with quitting will be as relavant for people who have smoked for years, but I’d like to share about it.
When I first started smoking, it was a really deliberate decision. I lived on a farm at the time and it just felt right. I bought a pouch of organic American Spritis and would roll myself one, getting better every time, and sit on the porch either watching the sun set or enjoying a good book. I loved it so much, and I was careful to moderate myself… only one or none a day. I didn’t want to get addicted. When the pouch would start to run out, I just wouldn’t buy another one for months at a time, and I found it easy to take those breaks.
Things changed when I moved and started a new job. My job was incredibly stressful, and I started smoking on my back to back 16 hour shifts as a way to get breaks. Cigarettes went from being a leisure activity, to the thing I needed to escape the constant low level trauma that was my workplace. It worsened when I started getting pre-rolled cigarrettes. I lost my ritual. I quit a few times, but of couse rough days happened.
What finally worked for me was to get a pouch of the best tobacco I had ever tried and to really savor the experience of rolling (which I miss more than the smoking!) and enjoy every drag, like what Sifu recommends. I committed to never buying tobacco again, and never smoking anything that wasn’t quality, hand rolled tobacco that I would really enjoy. That was way easier than committing to never smoking again, and it felt good because it was a way of valuing myself. And it worked, and continues to work… I haven’t smoked since, and especially now that I have other, better ways of managing stress like practicing Taichi or Qigong, and an even greater commitment to my health, smoking doesn’t even cross my mind as a way to de-stress anymore. Thank you so much Sifu!
So my two cents: consider upgrading what you smoke before you quit… you might enjoy it more, and miss your old smokes less.
Quiting Smoking is something I am wanting to attempt. My past failures are mostly due to parents in the home who still smoke. . . I am torn between wanting to quit, and seeing the cigarettes lying around and being more tempted to pick on up again.
There is no way I can get out of the home, seeing and smelling the cigarette smoke, and the withdrawl is what has me returning to smoking every time. I am at a loss of what to do, besides locking myself in my room and dealing with the withdrawl.
With things that I want to do and achieve, continuing to smoke is not my answer, this much I realize, but I need a way that will help me quit amist’d smokers in the home. I plan once again to try and quit. I know that it is not going to be easy cold turkey, given the years, but it is something that I have to do to improve my over all good health. What I need is a way to accomplish that with smokers around me.
After 7 years of non-smoking, I again started 4 years ago (as a relief during a very stressful period; stupidly so, I know
). I’m determined next time I quit, I quit for good! (i.e. – never light a cigarette again, no matter what the situation or circumstances)
I’m not much afraid of the trouble of breaking off the addiction since I did it before and can do it again. But this time I have another issue which impedes me from letting go of it: several years ago I suffered an ameba intestinal infection in India and since then I’ve had continuous problems with digestion, tensions, pains, blockages in the abdominal region, incl. morning constipation. For the latter I’ve tried various remedies, but nothing really worked much; the only thing that really does work for me is drinking some warm water or tea (sometimes with lemon juice added to it) AND smoking a few cigarettes in the morning – that’s the only thing that activates my digestion.
So, before quitting smoking, I think I should find a solution for this issue first. Can you give any advice or recommend a specific qigong exercise to help restore healthy digestion?
Hi Igor. Yes, I recommend that you add Qigong to your morning routine before you worry about quitting smoking. The article above will give you some tips, and when my book is finished, that will teach you everything you need to know in detail. You’ll be amazed at the results.
Apart from “lifitng the sky”, is there any specific qigong exercise to activate the qi flow in the abdomen/intestines in the morning?