Whether you are gay, straight, or somewhere in between, whether you are married, single, or somewhere in between — if you live in America, then your sexual energy is probably blocked.
Sex in America
In Greece, women go topless on the beaches. In America, just a picture of a woman — not even a topless image, mind you — can make some people squirm with discomfort.
Why?
America is #1 in a lot of things.
We are the undisputed champions of baseball, basketball, and REAL football. We have the #1 military in the world. Oorah!
And until very recently, we were the fattest country in the world.
But when it comes to sexual satisfaction, we’re not #1. We’re not even #2. In fact, we’re hardly on the list at all.
It’s probably no surprise that Greece, Brazil, and Italy are at the top of the list of the most sexually satisfied countries in the world.
But get ready to have your mind blown: Switzerland and Germany are also way ahead of us in sexual satisfaction.
What gives? Is the beer THAT much better over there?
In a previous article, I started a conversation about sex in America. I talked about how there is an imbalance in the way that Americans manage their sexual energy. And I talked about how we could learn a thing or two about sex from the ancient Taoists.
Hormones and Health
When your sexual energy is blocked, then your health will suffer. In my article about the 12 things that are blocking you from healing, I listed sexual fulfillment as one of the 12.
And it’s a big one.
When your sexual energy is blocked you’ll experience all sorts of negative symptoms, from frustration to lack of creativity to low back pain. But it’s even worse than that.
Blocked sexual energy affects your hormone production. It’s hard, if not impossible, to be full of vitality when your hormones are aren’t working correctly.
How to Get Unblocked
So how do we start getting unblocked? How do we begin to heal our society? How do we save America from the sexual frustration terrorists?!?
As we must do with all change, we must start with ourselves. Change comes from within. Here are some ways that you can start to heal and balance your own sexual energy.
1. Do Qigong
Qigong is the art of cultivating your internal energy. If you haven’t already learned some qigong, then stop what you’re doing and go sign up for my free online qigong course, or go learn Lifting The Sky for free.
There are advanced qigong exercises that are specifically designed for cultivating sexual vitality (more about those below), but you don’t need those. Even a simple 2 minute daily qigong routine will help tremendously.
2. Sleep More
In our culture, we say silly things like, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
No, you won’t. But you may in fact die sooner because you don’t sleep enough.
In the qigong tradition, sleep is considered to be one of the major ways that the body restores and heals itself.
It’s also super important for hormone regulation. That’s why morning sex can be so powerful.
Get more sleep for 30 days in a row, and you may find that your libido suddenly gets stronger and healthier.
3. Exercise Your Pelvic Floor
This type of exercise, which involves flexing the pubococcygeus muscle, is often called “kegels”. But it’s not just for women.
The ancient Taoists encouraged both men and women to practice this type of exercise.
There are many versions, but the easiest way to get started is to simply stop the stream while urinating. This is a good way to make it a habit. Stop and start the stream several times each time you go to the bathroom.
Later, once you’ve got the hang of it, you can flex the pelvic floor without urinating. The beauty of this exercise is that it’s invisible, so you can practice it all day long!
Don’t tense the body or legs while you do this. And try not to hold your breath either. Lift and hold like this for 10 seconds, and then release.
For men, it should feel almost as if you are retracting the testicles up into the body. For women, it should feel (or so I’ve been told) that you are drawing a small egg up into the vagina and toward the cervix.
The ancient Taoists go one step further for women. Basically, they talk about doing kegels with resistance. This technique is beyond the scope of this article (and beyond the scope of my experience), but in short, it’s involves doing kegels with a jade egg in the vagina.
Click the link below to learn more about vaginal kung fu from my friend, Kim Anami. She knows a lot more about this topic than I do, that’s for sure!
4. Practice The Small Universe
The Small Universe is an advanced Taoist qigong exercise that I’ve already talked about in depth. It’s not for beginners. If you mess with this technique before you’re ready, you’ll probably just block your energy even more.
But if you already know the Small Universe, then it’s an awesome choice for cultivating sexual vitality. If you’ve been practicing the Small Universe for more than a few months, then you should have already seen some improvement in your sexual vitality.
Men should experience harder erections, a higher sex drive, and greater control over ejaculation. Women should experience increased wetness, a stronger libido, and increased pleasure. At higher levels, when both partners are practicing the Small Universe, sex can become a deep, spiritual practice.
5. Practice The Small Wheel
If already you know the Small Universe, then the Small Wheel is easy.
The Small Wheel involves circulating the energy in a circle from dantian, down to huiyin, up to mingmen, and then back to dantian. So rather than the larger circuit that we do in the Small Universe, this circuit is smaller.
I feel like I should reiterate that this is not for beginners. If you don’t know the Small Universe, then you shouldn’t mess with the Small Wheel. Beginners should focus on simpler and safer techniques, like Lifting The Sky, and the next exercise, Belly Breathing.
6. Learn Belly Breathing:
Belly breathing is not necessarily a qigong technique. Singers do it. Some yoga schools also do it. It’s a skill that you had as a baby, and have probably lost. But it’s easy to regain.
Learn to breathe from your belly, regardless of the method. Belly breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, encourages the relaxation response, improves digestion, and (drumroll) nurtures sexual vitality. Here’s a trick that will help.
Lie down and place a heavy book on your lower belly, just below your belly button. Breathe naturally, but gradually allow your breathing to come from your lower belly. The book should rise as your breathe in, and fall as you breathe out.
7. Take a Chill Pill!
Stress creates cortisol (also known as the stress hormone). And cortisol messes with your sex drive (and your health).
You need a solution to stress in your life. Obviously, I’m a fan of qigong and tai chi. Maybe your choice is yoga, or some sort of meditation. Great. But you need a solution.
If you don’t have a solution yet, then try my free class.
From there, I highly recommend that you commit to doing 2 minutes of qigong every day.
Stress management is more important than all the other things on your to-do list.
8. Hang Out
Humans are social animals. Spending time with other humans can have a dramatic effect on cortisol (see above) and oxytocin (see below). When you lowering cortisol levels and raise oxytocin levels, your libido (and your overall health) will improve.
9. Hug it Out
While you’re hanging out with friends and family, go ahead and hug!.
Hugging stimulates a hormone called oxytocin, sometimes called the “cuddle hormone”. This hormone is associated with all sorts of benefits, including stress relief, depression relief, weight loss, and pain relief.
And yes, pets count!
10. Walk it Out
Exercise is important, and there’s no simpler form of exercise than walking. In the world of Chinese medicine, the only form of exercise that is better than walking is qigong. And even if you know qigong, you should still walk every day.
I have and Apple Watch, which are also digital super-pedometers. They measure all kinds of things, like distance walked, number of steps, number of flights climbed, calories burned, etc.
They say that a healthy person should take 10,000 steps per day. Unless you’re already very active, you’re probably going to get a huge wake up call when you first start using the Fitbit. You’re probably closer to 2000 steps than 10,000.
Increase the number of steps, and you’ll gradually watch a lot of your sexual blockages melt away. You’ll also have more energy, and sleep better. Sounds like a good deal to me!
11. Get Your Yoga On
The ancient Taoists didn’t talk about yoga, which is an Indian art. They talked about qigong, which is a Chinese art.
But yoga can definitely help.
I’m not a yoga expert, but if I look at the art from a Chinese medical perspective, it’s clear that the postures help to open up the flow of energy through the body. This, in turn, will help to gradually clear some of the sexual blockages.
Personally, I prefer qigong and strongly believe that it will be bigger than yoga one day. But to each their own, and if yoga works for you, then keep working it!
12. Meditate
Lately, people are talking about sitting meditation being the cure for just about everything. And it can be true — for some people.
Not everyone is ready for sitting meditation. If it doesn’t work for you, then don’t feel guilty about trying something else. (I recommend trying forms of moving meditation like qigong and tai chi.)
If sitting meditation calms you, gets you into a deeply relaxed state, and helps you to quiet the mind, then it’s also going to help you to unblock your sexual energy. So keep going!
13. Men — Ditch the Tightie Whities
Believe it or not, tight underwear constricts the flow of blood and energy to the male genitals. Wear boxers, or boxer briefs, not “tightie whities”.
14. Squat
Squats are great for lots of things, including sexual health. If you know the qigong exercise called Three Levels To Earth, then practice that. If not, just learn what they call an air squat. This a conventional, physical exercise, and it won’t have quite the same effect as qigong exercises, but it’s close enough for jazz.
Squatting opens up the pelvic area (called the kua in qigong and tai chi terminology), massages the internal organs, and promotes a healthier production of hormones. I recommend doing them throughout the day. If you sit a lot for work (see #15), the get up and take a “squatting break” at least once an hour.
15. Sit Less
Sitting is the new smoking. That’s what all the research says. Sitting is killing us by slowly messing with our hormones, our metabolism, and our energy levels. This can wreak havoc on our libido.
The solution is to take breaks. Every hour, without fail, get up from your desk. Walk around, do some squats, do the 2-Minute Drill, or whatever. You might also consider getting some sort of standing desk. Or better yet, get your boss to buy one for you!
16. Masturbate
Practice makes perfect! One of the best ways to harmonize and unblock your sexual energy is to masturbate.
Hold your horses, men. Notice that I didn’t say anything about ejaculation. And with good reason. According to the ancient Taoists, men must be extremely careful in how often they ejaculate. If you ejaculate too frequently, you’ll drain your energy. (On the other hand, if you ejaculate too infrequently, your energy will stagnate.)
Two thousand years ago, the Su Nu Jing (素 女 經) , a classic text on Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), advised how frequently a man should ejaculate to maintain optimal health. The following chart shows the guidelines from that classic text.
Your miles may vary.
|
Age |
Minimum |
Average Health |
Good Health |
|
20+ |
Every 4 days |
1X Day |
2x Day |
|
30+ |
Every 8 days |
Every other day |
1x Day |
|
40+ |
Every 16 days |
Every 4 days |
Every 3 days |
|
50+ |
Every 21 days |
Every 10 days |
Every 5 days |
|
60+ |
Every 30 days |
Every 20 days |
Every 10 days |
For women, the same rules don’t apply. According to the ancient Taoists, women lose energy from menstruation and child birth, not from orgasm. This means that women have a carte blanche when it comes to masturbation and orgasm. There’s no such thing as “too often”.
This is a big topic. If you’re interested, I’ll write a separate article entirely on masturbation. Let me know in the comments below (or send me an email if you’re too shy).
17. Just Do it!
I saved the best for last. Having sex — satisfying, intimate, passionate sex — is part of the solution.
Part of what’s causing our sexual blockages is that Americans just don’t have sex often enough. We’re too busy, too stressed, or too tired. Whereas other countries are doing it a few times a week, we’re doing it a few times a month, or with many couples, a few times a year!
There’s no easy fix for this one. It’s a complex problem. My best advice is to work on the tips above. Start with yourself. As you clear your own sexual blockages, you may be surprised to find that things suddenly start to flow more smoothly with your lover.
Check out my friend Kim Anami’s programs on this topic:
What Do You Think?
Do you have anything to add to the list? Did I miss anything? Go ahead and add it to the comments below. I’m interested in hearing from you. From the heart, Sifu Anthony
Please write an article about masturbation! It’s an important topic that doesn’t get proper attention from virtually anyone in the states. I’ve read many Taoist writings that talk about it, but I’d love to hear what you have to say about it. Your words are always clear, direct, and conversational.
I honestly can’t fathom the sexual infrequency… once per week? I think my wife and I would destroy the known world if that were normal for us!
We need more male nudity around the world. Its too imbalanced. As a female, I would rather see that. Because I’m not gay.
I so appreciated this article! I do meditate, do yoga, and have looked into qigong a little. Sounds like I am on the right path and will search it out more. I too have mental/emotional disorders that I am oN heavy medication for and would so love to be free of them. I also found the encouragement to masturbate interesting since what I’ve read so far has been the opposite (for both men & women). I’d like you to write that article if you haven’t already haha!
Thanks again and many blessings,
Debi
What about contraception? Which kind is preferable? Will chi kung clear hormonal contraception from the women’s body and make it uneffective? Is it at all healthy?
Hi Marek.
No, qigong won’t render oral contraception (the pill) ineffective. But the pill can be problematic for women. My wife had problems with the pill, and then subsequently did a lot of research. I can’t go into the details here, but suffice it to say that she no longer believes that the pill is safe.
Condoms work!
Hello! This article was extremely interesting and informative. I am currently attending school to become a Holistic Healthcare Practitioner, specializing in energy work, and I am always very interested in reading/seeing/listening to all sorts of perspectives! I would love for you to email me the seperate article or post it on the comments about masturbation.
Thanks, Heather. I never finished my article about masturbation, but I think I’ll revive it this year. Stay on my email list for updates.
Still apart from Masturbation, I never had sex, My concern mostly is too much Masturbation, and an inability to control the urges, I am almost to the point where I would be like “the Man in the Oil” from the film “Circle of Iron 1978”. . It gets a man into trouble. . Okay maybe not quite so rash but still there was a time when I found such energy manageable now not quite so much, in a lot of ways blockage would be best at times (At least that’s the way I feel about it). I am not sure what to do about it any more. . .
Hi David. I’m not sure I understand everything that you wrote, but I understand one thing loud and clear. Here’s my best advice. Find someone you like, and someone who likes you, and start a healthy sexual relationship. You’re not a monk. Sex is healthy, and intimate relationships are a wonderful (if sometimes difficult) way to cultivate emotional maturity and spirituality.
I do understand where you are going, and certainly I wish such a thing could happen, but someone who is living with and taking care of parents, and has no income is a turn off to many women. Until something changes for me financially I will be in this position for awhile. In the past as well as the present moment the fear of having children when I am not ready to do so is another factor of why I don’t purse anyone, just as much I also have one more stumbling block that I will mention here. Yes, I agree relationships can be wonderful, most especially if you can find that 1 in a million, but I don’t think its my time yet. I do appreciate your advice though.
Its a turn off but only if that is all you bring to the table. Develop yourself more as a person and you will find ladies and money both come easier to you 🙂
I would add:
Have an open and honest relationship with your partner
Right On MS. Linda!
Totally agree Linda. honesty and openness is paramount.
Keep looking, David. I found that one in a million and life is wonderful on every level. Intimacy is so natural and beautiful. I new this person was the one well before we had the physical intimacy. What I have with this person, I can’t get from no one else. So happy it never worked with anyone else. So to continue to be in a healthy relationship, I try to make sure I’m healthy and stress free as a person. This article is awesome. Great advice, but you still have to do the footwork to create your happiness. My advice, thinkle positive, take the trash out, and be happy!
Hi Anthony siheng,
Nice article! I remember sifu said in his Q&A series that masturbation is bad for a person’s spiritual development. What are your thoughts on this?
Hi Kan. I didn’t see what Sifu Wong said in his Q&A. I’m working on a blog post about masturbation, but to answer your question, I can see how excessive ejaculation (in men) could inhibit spiritual development. But it’s the ejaculation, not the masturbation itself, that is the problem. Make sense?
Hi, I’m very much enjoying the candor and humor in your posts, and am intrigued by your statement that masturbation can be healthy, since this obviously goes against the vast majority of spiritual and energetic advice out there! My spiritual teacher (a medical qigong practitioner and healer whom I deeply respect) has only ever told me that “masturbation is always a mistake,” and occasionally mentioned succubi, etc. which I realize may be outside the scope of this conversation 🙂 Anyway, could you please specifically address the subject of pornography and its addictive, destructive nature? I’m sure I’m not alone as a spiritually aspiring man who has struggled and stumbled for years over this issue without much progress. As an American male (married and sexually active with my wife) with regular access to the Internet, masturbation and pornography go hand in hand, along with lust, obsession, irritability etc. Lastly, could you please give your thoughts on the ubiquitous advice not to practice qigong for at least 24 hours before or after having sex, not to mention masturbating? I’ve heard this advice almost every time I’ve heard the subject mentioned, but never a real explanation why!
Hi “Lucky. I’m glad that someone gets my jokes. Thanks for the kind words.
I’ll answer your last question first. In my experience, the advice not to practice qigong for 24 hours before or after having sex doesn’t apply to most modern practitioners. That’s my opinion. It’s also what I tell my students.
There are a few things to realize with that classical piece of advice. First of all, it only applies to men, not women. Secondly, it applies to ejaculation, not just sex. (In other words, having sex isn’t the problem; ejaculation is.) And third, the whole thing is not such a big deal.
If I ejaculate, say, 1 hour after practicing qigong, I’ll lose some or even most of the energy gained through the practice. Ejaculation is definitely draining. I can feel it in my practice.
But so what? Qi (and jing) are renewable resources. It’s not such a big deal. I practice qigong every day. I certainly don’t ejaculate every day.
Regarding masturbation, I can’t agree with the statement that it is “always a mistake”. But perhaps the quote was taken out of context. Are we talking about male or female masturbation? With or without ejaculation? What about the frequency?
Many spiritual traditions, including Taoism, talk about sex as a form of spiritual cultivation. That’s my personal area of interest. In that realm, there are various techniques that need to be practiced. For example, men need to learn to retain semen, a skill that involves relaxing, breathing, and flexing the PC muscle.
That takes practice, and a great way to practice is with masturbation (without ejaculation).
For women, masturbation can be an important step in opening up the emotional and energetic channels in the genitals. Without masturbation practice, some women simply won’t be able to orgasm during sex.
Regarding porn – I personally think it’s problematic. It’s over-stimulating. I don’t think the human body or mind were meant for that kind of thing.
A simple solution to unblocking sexual energy; never have sex without love.
Can’t agree more. That’s it.
I often have had sex without love, and I would agree it is one of the most draining things you can do for your energy. Sorry I’m a little late to the conversation, but I was wondering if anyone could help me out… I just started a new relationship with someone I love, it’s been going on about two months, and the sex is great. But just the last three times I’ve had sex, with the same person, I’ve felt something I’ve never felt before in my life.. it’s hard to explain, but I feel like my eyes are being opened, and I can see cosmically into another world. It’s not just physical pleasure, as I’ve had that before, but it’s like I’m connecting with not only him, but a higher self, one that understands sex spiritually. Does that make sense? I don’t know what it is, or why it just started happening, but I assume it’s because I actually love him more than myself, and I’m allowing him to unlock me spiritually, from the inside. Maybe one of you can tell me what that is, and how to get that everytime? Is it like an every once in awhile thing, or is it because I’m doing something right that I wasn’t before? It sure feels right! I’ve never felt so connected spiritually to myself. Thank you for any comments and responses! (:
Something like this started happening to me as well lately. It happened a few times, and I wasn’t even in a relationship with them, and I couldn’t say I was in love, but now I’m trying to redefine what that means.
I also started feeling, during sex at one point that I’m connected to something bigger than myself, and I felt love, but not the love when you are in love with someone and you are focused only on them, but it was like, through connecting with this person I felt connected to…let’s say the universe in lack of better term. I felt this love energy flowing through me and it was amazing.
How I see it, is that there is this field of energy, and I was suddenly connected to it through opening myself up somehow.
Since then I’ve started becoming more and more interested to explore the connection between sex and spirituality. It would be cool to find some more info on what should I explore/study to deepen my understanding of this phenomena.
Nice article, as usual. But I have a “little” problem. When I have sex I get a lot of back pain. If, during sex, I masturbate in order to achieve orgasm, it gets much, much worst! On those cases I have to see a chiropractor. Needless to say, masturbate on my own it’s impossible. I am almost desperate, because it’s very disturbing for my mental heath.
It’s too difficult for me to be sure based on your description. I recommend that you find a good acupuncturist and get a thorough diagnosis. I suspect that Chinese medicine (i.e. acupuncture) will be more helpful in this situation than chiropractic or Western medicine.
I’ll do that and I’ll tell you later, Sifu Anthony. Thanks for your kind and helpful answer.
I like this article. However it is pretty difficult for me to do the last option since I do not have a partner. I sometimes wonder if there is any positive aspects of going through a dry spell.
Brilliant article.
How do you recover your sexual energy from over masturbation to porn ?
Lots of Qigong.
Looking for some clarity on something you said in the article. You said infrequent ejaculation leads to energy stagnation. Is it possible to not ejaculate while doing Qigong or something else and not have the energy stagnate? Essentially is ejaculation necessary or can you manage the sexual energy without ejaculating and not allow the energy to stagnate.
It’s a good question, Robert. There are Qigong masters who teach men not to ejaculate for long periods of time. I heard about one master who didn’t ejaculate for 10 years! I have no idea if it’s true, or if it was a good thing or not.
In the Internal Kung Fu world, it’s common to hear about students going 100 days without ejaculation. I think that this is a bit more reasonable.
I prefer to stick to the advice from Chinese medicine, which basically prescribes a healthy balance. Not too often, not too infrequent. Even with all my Qi training, I still feel that ejaculation is necessary.
Personally, if I were to go for an extended period without ejaculation, then I would do it under the care of a acupuncture physician who is skillful at pulse diagnosis. (I’m lucky to be married to one.) This way, the acupuncturist could measure any big changes in my energy.
If you’re feeling emotionally unstable, frustrated, weak, if you’re getting headaches or having trouble sleeping, then it’s probably time to find some balance. 🙂
Hi there!
My question/concern is on the suggestion of masturbation. I’m not shy to say I do this pretty much on a daily basis. And I am also sexually active. I enjoy doing both. I will add that I am also Catholic. And in the Catholic religion, fornication and apparently masturbation is a sin. I have read many articles and reviewed Bible passages that state that sex should be between a man and woman that are married to each other. However, there is not a specific passage that mentions masturbation as a sin, but rather it is implied since sex is supposed to be selfless and not selfish. Hence, masturbation would be considered selfish. Now my question is, what is your take on this? I’m aware that you are possibly in the middle of writing an article on masturbation. I’ve provided a link with a summary on thoughts of masturbation according to the Bible. I’m just hoping to find some clarity to help me understand everything better. https://bible.org/question/does-bible-say-masturbation-sin
Thanks!
You should read up on what Catholic theologians and clergy say about masturbation rather than what other sites say. From a Catholic perspective, the Onan passage is seen as evidence supporting masturbation being a sin, but more than that, masturbation is considered a part of “natural law”, which means it doesn’t need justification because it’s intuitively obvious.
I’m not a Catholic, and I don’t think the act of masturbation in and of itself is a sin, but I think that there are many things surrounding it that can be seen as sins (replacing sex with a spouse, wasting your time and energy on what should be God’s, etc.)
What about those of us without partners? Apart from meditation and exercises, what helps us manage our sexual energy?
PJ, unfortunately, there’s no easy answer to that question. I had intended to publish an article about masturbation, but I got swept away with other projects. Perhaps some day I will finish it.
Why are you using the word ‘Zen’ here? If you want to correlate sex with Tai Chi or Qi Gong, OK, but most people I know who have a serious zen practice have a lower sex drive because they don’t fantasize as much as most people, i.e. spend their time in constructing desire. And they’re just as happy, if not happier, than people who spend their time chasing after orgasms. I think, here, you’re using sex to sell.
Hi George. Which use of the word “Zen” are you specifically referring to?
Flowing Zen is the name of my school of Qigong and Tai Chi. You may be interested to know that the patriarch of Zen Buddhism, Bodhidharma, was also the patriarch of a major school of Qigong.
What if as a woman you do feel that masterbating is still expelling your energy. Even to the point that you feel it in your third eye or in people’s reaction to you? at one point I had not release my energy for over 7 months and people were saying that I was glowing and had a different reaction towards me.
Hi Yogifairy. I honestly don’t know the answer. I think you’d need to ask a female qigong master to get at the deeper truths. I would encourage you not to ignore your own experience, but I would also encourage you to explore the issue and learn more about it.
On average how frequently should a male ejaculate?
It depends on his age, his health, and his lifestyle. Su Nu Jing, a classic Chinese medicine text, recommends the following:
The following chart suggests the sex guidelines from that classic text:
Age | Minimum |Average Health |Good Health
20+ Every 4 days 1X Day 2x Day
30+ Every 8 days Every other day 1x Day
40+ Every 16 days Every 4 days Every 3 days
50+ Every 21 days Every 10 days Every 5 days
60+ Every 30 days Every 20 days Every 10 days
I do Qi gong every day and like I have said before I did avoid masturbation for seven months but lost track and then again for four months and then lost track. I am not a total addict now but now I am at a point where I just go for 10 days to 3 days without masturbation or porn at a time. My acupuncturist did say my tongue diagnosis is qi stagnant (despite the qi gong and other exercises) which could be an explanation for probably why I feel a need to ejaculate. I think I probably need to find a balance to where maybe I need to do something to circulate the sexual energy so I do not relapse into porn and get G-d angry at me. I am not at a point where I can master Microcosmic orbit from my teacher yet but I feel that there might be something I can do now to help keep myself from falling into my impulses. Should I just schedule a time to masturbate or is there a better alternative I can try?
My tongue was slightly purple and shaky( indicating wind) according to the acupuncturist. She gave me herbs and treated me and now it is less shaky. My yin crack did improve probably thanks to the qi gong. At first she thought I needed to do something more cardiovascular (which I disagreed(feel free to challenge me on this) since I felt more cardio doing slow breath qi gong than vinyasa yoga or running on the treadmill – my heart rate actually lowered after I mastered eight pieces of brocade) then after I explained this to her she thought maybe I needed more specific blood building herbs to nourish the heart since my heart shakra was blocked since birth. I have not considered walking at a constant rate daily maybe that would be something I would need to add into my lifestyle though feel free to help give me other input as to what I should do. I am a little to obsessed with this topic obviously but I just feel too close to mastering over myself.
What do you think of this link for redirecting sexual impulses especially rite No. 6: http://www.valter.saask.ee/files/Five_Tibetan.pdf
Tony, listen, I think you’re approaching this the wrong way. From your posts, I think you’re obsessing about this, which is more of a problem than the problem you think needs to be solved. My advice is to relax, go learn some qigong in person, maybe take one of my upcoming online workshops, live life, and stop trying to squelch a natural impulse baseed on what you’ve read on the internet.
Hi Sifu,
I don’t understand. We masterbate because we want a release so how do we masterbate without ejaculations. How far into it must we stop then. And by masturbation here do you mean we just fondle, play or even just massage our penis so that blood fills into it?
I am suffering from Sexual Anhedonia which doctor cannot help. In fact I am trying to stay away from masturbation or having any thought about sex, thinking it might help.
For a couple of months now, I practice the Iron Crotch Qi Gong followed by the Small Universe and the Small Wheel hoping to regain my feelings.
Hi Sid. I don’t know much about Sexual Anhedonia, unfortunately. I understand the basics, but if I’ve ever helped a student with this condition, they never told me about it.
I have never practiced Iron Crotch Qigong, and I don’t think I will. It just doesn’t seem safe.
Small Universe and Small Wheel are powerful techniques, but I believe these should be learned in person.
I’ll be doing online workshops soon, and these might be a good option. The basic Qigong that I teach is known for helping even when people have already tried everything else.
Why do you not mention the breakthrough of the thrusting vessel that communicates directly to the brain? I know it is really advanced but do you have any experiences of this yourself?
Hi Tony. The Small Universe is already plenty advanced for an article like this. The breakthrough of the Chong is just not practical for most people unless they’ve been practicing for many years.
I want to learn qigong for only one reason, to reduce or eliminate my chronic anxiety that i have basicly all the time. What is the best technique or exercise in qigong i can do for this reason, and even better, if theres something i can do where i can have sex more often and not have it affect my qigong too much. I plan to practice qigong every day for anxiety maintenance, but i really dont know where to start. Finally am i the only one that finds it odd to masturbate and not ejaculate? Isnt that the point lol.. Thanks.
Hi Alex. If you want to work on anxiety, then I have an online course specifically on that subject: https://flowingzen.mykajabi.com/store/xyGAb5mH
To answer your question — no, ejaculation isn’t the point of masturbation, at least not in the Taoist tradition. In fact, the Taoists might say the opposite — that the purpose of masturbation is to learn to control yourself so that you do not ejaculate.
Obviously, this illustrates the huge chasm between Eastern and Western thinking on the subject.
I fell confuse at the time….Married for 53 year with a lovely men (old then me) and who take lots of medications,so,our sex life gong for the past 10 years…at the time I didn’t mind,but,sometime my craving for little touch,or caress make me feel so LONELY…..I have to say that I do really enjoy a massage,and take pleasure of it,do you think that it’s a sin?and that God will punish me to feel that way?Lucky it is not very often that I fell that way,but,beside masturbation(and I don’t like that way…) I prefer someone like a masseur to touch me,and get pleasure,it’s that wrong?Thank you to take time to answer me as I am so CONFUSE about my feeling…..Do you thing is hormonal????as I am a healthy lady,as my Doctor say,and medications FREE,I do meditation,Tai Chi.Yoga and Ballet.Sincerely.
Elaine.
Hi Elaine. Personally, I don’t think it’s a sin to want to feel your sexual energy, and the ancient Taoists would agree with me. I certainly don’t think God will punish you. He made you. 🙂
Hey Sifu Anthony, Currently I am away from my teacher because I am on winter break from school so I can’t really ask him. During my practice, during the past couple of days I have noticed that when I try to breath into my lower dan tien, instead of my breath going there it goes into my genitals. Or half genitals half dan tien I don’t know it’s weird. Am I breathing too low? Obviously my intention is not in the right spot.
Hi David. Question for you. How long have you been practicing qigong?
You may not be doing anything wrong at all. What you’re doing sounds a bit like what we call Submerged Breathing: http://flowingzen.com/6320/secrets-of-the-small-universe/
I have been doing Tai Chi/Qigong for about 2 years and have begun doing small universe. If it is just the energy going to my perineum that would take a load off because I thought I was doing something wrong and was getting worried (hence the reason why I came here).
Do you have any pain? Any negative symptoms? Anything to suggest that there’s something wrong?
No there is no pain or negative feeling. It just felt weird, like a pressure in that area. Like my energy was there, and I wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be there or not.
I mean, you need instruction and supervision. But it doesn’t sound like a problem. It sounds like your qi is trying to flow from dantian down to huiyin.
Yup that is what it was, thank you for the help. Pressure was not the right word, heat would be a better word. Anyway, just did Zhang Zhuang and it went down to the huiyin, so I brought the energy to the ming men and then up and all that jazz. I’ll be with my teacher in a little bit when winter break is over. Body feels more balanced and open now.
Really bad advice about women not being able to masturbate too often. Women can become desensitized and cause themselves further problems.
Hi Jill. Thanks for your comment. I think I understand where you are coming from. And of course, anything in excess can become harmful.
In this case, I was referring to the general Taoist view of female masturbation. I don’t think it’s fair to simply sweep their wisdom away as “really bad advice”. I’m not a fan of your style of drive-by commenting, but your point about desensitization is a fair one. It would have been better if you provided some resources to add more to the discussion.
I have been doing qigong since 11 years old now 62 still do cartwheels, flips, jumprope like a kid so my 38 year old daughter says lol. My teacher was teacher Lu way way back there. He once said stop worrying about doing it perfect till you learn how to do it. If you’re to busy trying to figure out if the cup is half ful or half empty you will never get the cup full. Just stand just breathe the internal already knows what it needs to do….made sense to me so I just did what he said and did I saw the results teacher Lu was a Wudang priest so wise. People don’t get caught up in hype or the movies teachings stuff. Mr. Anthony is trying to explain real life qigong teachings listen to him he’s very good and if he doesn’t know the answer he doesn’t make one up he says sorry I don’t know. Now that’s a real master level human being.
Charles, thank you so much for the kind words. You just made my day!
Love your truthfulness on your articles and replies to everyone. You keep it simple and easy to many “trying to be masters” but the real masters are easy to spot like you. True wisdom, joy, caring, always start at the basics teachings “never miss a step on the ladder”. Patience, balance, and with the most important one being HUMBLE! and you grasshopper have passed the test.
Sorry for the delayed response. Thank you for the kind words. Unfortunately, many people are still easy fooled by charlatans. But that’s their path. My path is to write and teach simple truths about qigong. Glad someone noticed. 🙂
I don’t know if i am too late but I am interested in seeing an article on “masturbation”.
Hi Sifu. I was wondering if there is a way qigong can help men to become multiorgasmic. I started practicing some time ago with Mantak Chia’s book but when I started reading your blog I decided to stop since the tecnique described in it seems very close to the small universe. It even asks to lift the tongue, which is something you recommend not to do for beginners in another post.
By the way, thanks for giving so many people the opportunity to learn about this wonderful art. I just finished the depression course for my panic dissorder and I feel it will be very helpful. Greetings from Colombia!
Please write an article on masturbation! I need to know more!!
Thanks for a great article and following videos.
Could you please talk more about masturbation for men?
What practice would be best to enhance sexual energy in solo life?
Working on an article on the topic…
Mr. Anthony I have a question about zhan zhuang. When doing zhan zhuang are you to do microcosmic orbit while post standing or do it “on the side” separate time? Question #2…concerning sexual cultivation “daoist style” a male having a visectomy is reasorbing his jing automatically since it does not come out during ejactulation? Is this correct I read it in a qigong /medical journal few years ago. I also was told a male who had a visectomy will never gain high level results doing qigong because of this operation? True or false? Thank you so much for your wisdom and those jokes you throw in your articles keeps us smiling and attentive.
Hi Charles. Here are some quick answers.
1) Yes, I often do Small Universe during zhan zhuang. I also do the Big Universe (Da Zhou Tian), sometimes called The 12 Meridian Art. But combining either Small or Big Universe with zhan zhuang postures is advanced. I think most people with less than a decade of experience should keep them separate.
2) I honestly don’t know about the effects of a vasectomy. I’ve gone back and forth a few times in my thinking, but I have no way to test my theories. Sorry, I just can’t give you a helpful answer either way.
Hi, thank you for the article. I have been suffering from an inability to enjoy sex for 20 years. Intercourse is painful and I cannot get ‘turned on’ . I have tried almost everything you can possibly imagine and am beginning to think maybe I’m just never going to correct myself. I’ve tried yoga, qi gong, hormone balancing, right diet, meditation, healthy life style, relaxing etc, etc, etc. Done it all. Still my vagina is experiencing pain and my mind feels anxiety not joy. If anyone can help me at all please comment. I don’t want to die and never enjoy sex. I think I may have some sort of deep psychological issues but I’ve tried almost everything to help myself.
Hi Miss Blue. I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. This is not my area of expertise, and I would encourage you to get professional help. I specifically recommend that you find someone who practices Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET). My wife is uses it in her clinic, and the results are simply amazing. I think getting NET should be at the top of your list. Wishing you all the best in finding you the solution that you deserve!
Hello, very interesting article and discussion,, I would like to ask a question, im a qi gong practitioner since 5 years, practiced ba duan jin, yi jing jin, belly breathing and other qi gong from a qualified master, and often found myself lot of sexual energy which I guess is normal as you increase your energy,,, my question is about masturbation without ejaculation,, how can you do it without gettin stagnation and pain in testicles? because I always try to do that without losing semen, but always result in lot of pain for at least 3 to 4 hours so that at least sometimes to avoid that I rather ejaculate,,, please explain better, thanks a lot
thank you for a very informative article
Hello, Anthony! What would be your suggestion for sexless relationships? When one of the partners have little or no interest in sexual intimacy? We are raising a son together and it’s heartbreaking to consider separation. I feel lucky to be a woman after reading your article as I have a carte blanche regarding masturbation!!! Definitely helps to relieve tension but also helps to regain new sexual energy. I feel surplus and don’t know where to go with it… it’s a lot, it’s overwhelming. Seems like my husband is not able or doesn’t want to handle it. (I don’t mean I require frequency, just have it reasonably). After 7 years together he started making comments like, he wouldn’t mind if I do it with someone else. When it actually did happened, he threw an big objection. So, open relationships don’t work too. Eventually I decided to take a breath, stop looking or thinking about it. Meditate/meditate/masturbate/meditate. It’s a beautiful, driving, elevating energy. How do not kill it and live my reality? Is it possible? Having sex with a man is one of the beautiful god’s gifts. No one should make me think otherwise. That’s what I learned from my relationship.
I would still be interested in an article on masturbation!
I dropped the ball. It’s something that I still need to finish writing.
I’d be interested in the article too! Please and thank you 🙂
I heard stimulating and stroking the penis, and not edging for hours what i mean actually creates sexual energy. but people said there is a downside to it, like people say it causes imbalances in hormones(i’m talking about masturbation without ejaculation) is it true? some people claim they lose hair due to edging. i often get wetdreams after few such days of only masturbation. guide us on how to harness sexual energy and create it. also due to more ejaculation/wetdreams the androgen receptors sensitivity is reduced, tell me how to regain it? by doing squats?
Than you very much!! for transmiting that knowledge for the well being of everyone
I learned of qigong techniques and importance of regulating ejaculation frequency according to age when I was 23 y/o. At first I developed stagnation from not enough frequency, it feels like pressure in the body. I did once get a physical attack in this time period getting hit in body and face several times by several people, with no pain and little cut above my eye. It was strange, it felt as if energy shot out when the final blow landed and this guy broke several fingers on my eye socket. I did have a black eye and a cut above the eye however.
I do believe had I not practiced the qigong I practiced then, which was merely using baoding balls and guiding qi, the blows would have knocked me out and would have hurt me much more.
I am no fighter (that was the only bar fight I ever was in) and I also believe that abstaining from ejaculation made me aggressive, I was in my 20s and had not attained a level of inner peace. I also had watched the movie “Kickboxer” earlier that day, and there was a training scene where Jean Claude Van Damme got drunk and started a bar fight intentionally to test his ability while impaired (not a good idea in real life!)
Now I utilized lift sky and look back carry moon as my main exercises, which are incredible for many things including sexual health.
Use of herbs such as ashwagandha and kava can also assist in restoring depletion from over ejaculation, and to support healthy sexual activity. However, they should not be used to enable over indulgence.
Fantastic, candid and real!
Thank you for all of the comments and Q&A Sifu.
At 60 I am concerned that I will lose my vitality that is extremely important for physical healing, emotional healing and spiritual progress ( which is my basic understanding is the purpose of generating that energy from a tantric perspective).
Love the conversation….
Finish the article man….we are all just holding our breath here 🤪.
PS…I have read and practices some of the exercises found in Daniel Reid’s “The complete book of Chinese health and healing”. It is a valuable resource.
That’s a good book although I haven’t read it in years!
Hi Sifu,
Well I cannot put into words what I am feeling now – so much covered in such a short time!
However, I am a practicing Catholic and without further ado must say I am a tad shocked with the Videos included in this fascinating article on Qigong, the Sexual Journey – the Polar Express to a very sexually fulfilled life!!!
My issue is with sex outside of a loving, committed relationship and after that I ask myself *who has the real problem here – sexual relations should be happy and spontaneous and not something to be worked on! Why the obsession with masturbation male or female – it leads, in my opinion, to pornography overload and frankly, alot of vulnerable young men and women seem to be controlled by the media and what is expected of them in a world that is heading towards a *Soddom and Gomorrah demoralised, base and Godless society! Don’t get me wrong here, sex is a beautiful thing and a God given gift but many lives are destroyed by excessive exposure to sex in all its good and ugly forms, leading now to drug over use and alcohol abuse! Sex should never be a taboo subject but it should be treated with the respect it deserves! Sex should be about committment and not having free time, feeling a bit bored and basically jumping on (no pun intended), to the nearest and most convenient sexual ride to oblivian!
Anyway, as an Irish cailín in Éire, I do not have the choice of an a la carte menu re Sex but my mind is free and and not under the control of the cynical, evil driven media!
Not looking for comments but feel free to share your thoughts ☘️🤗🌈✍️
Dear sifu Anthony,
Will you eventually publish your blog post about masturbating?
Very interested in what your thoughts and opinions are on that topic compared to what most people think about it. (For example, the Nofap community)
Kind regards,
Mark