“I’m freaking out!” she said. “My heart is in my throat!”

This was a Facebook audio message so I could clearly hear the anxiety in her voice.

I’m receiving a ton of messages, emails, and phone calls like this right now. People who don’t normally experience anxiety are suddenly feeling it. If we could magically diagnose everyone in the United States, would we find that 80% of the population is now experiencing some sort of anxiety disorder? I wouldn’t be surprised.

Meanwhile, those of us who have been battling anxiety for years are struggling too. Although it’s true that we have more experience with anxiety, we’re also facing challenges that we’ve never seen before.

I mean, I’ve successfully battled anxiety for nearly 3 decades, but I still find myself in unknown territory. I’ve never gone through a global, once-in-a-century pandemic either!

So what can we do?

Well, obviously I’m a big believer in the power of qigong. It saved my life, and it has helped thousands of my students all over the world. So it goes without saying that I recommend qigong.

If you haven’t seen my free online qigong course that specifically addresses the issues of COVID-19, then check it out here:

[COVID-19 Support] Learn Qigong Online from Me for Free During the Crisis

However, there’s something else that you can do, and it might even be more important than practicing qigong. I don’t say that lightly.

What I’m talking about is the single-best antidote to the stress and anxiety that we’re feeling during this crazy time. I’m talking about gratitude, of course, but…

An Attitude of Gratitude?

It’s important that you understand that gratitude is a practice, not just an attitude.

In the free program above, I include a guided meditation on gratitude. I hope you’ll try it to get a feel for what I’m talking about. (Make sure to go through the roadmap. Don’t just skip to the meditation.)

Many people talk about having an “attitude of gratitude.” This rhymes and it sounds good on social media. It’s also a big fat lie.

Over the years, I’ve actually confronted dozens of people who use this phrase, both on social media and in my classes.

What I found was that the vast majority of people who talk about having an attitude of gratitude don’t actually practice. On some level, they sincerely believe in the power of gratitude, but they don’t take any action. They just parrot the phrase.

In Brene Brown’s amazing audiobook The Power of Vulnerability she talks specifically about the difference between having an attitude of gratitude and PRACTICING gratitude, drawing a parallel to a yoga practice:

“I have a yoga attitude. I have yoga clothes. I live in yoga pants actually. I have yoga shoes. Somewhere in my house I think I have a yoga mat. But I do not practice yoga. So if you ask me to do something up here [on stage], how far do you think my attitude of yoga will take me?”

How You Get to Carnegie Hall

I’m the son of 2 professional musicians. I was raised as a classical violinist. I practiced for hours every day long before I was allowed to vote.

I’ve even played in Carnegie Hall. Okay, yes, it was with a youth orchestra, but hey — have YOU played in Carnegie Hall? Well okay then.

(To my music friends who have actually played in Carnegie Hall — don’t you dare mess up my joke here!)

My point is that I know what it’s like to practice deeply. I started with the violin. Later, I put the same perseverance into karate, and then qigong.

If you want to change your life — and you do because life is totally crazy right now — then you have to practice. There’s no way around it.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie

The good news is that…

• you don’t need to practice gratitude for hours every day
• gratitude practice is enjoyable
• gratitude practice is easy
• gratitude practice shows fast results

Practicing Gratitude Every Day

I recommend that you practice gratitude every day without fail for 30 days.

You can use the guided meditation in my free program to get the hang of it. (Make sure you follow the instructions and go through the program. If you just skip to the guided meditation, it won’t make sense.)

But you can also practice gratitude throughout your day. In fact, now is the PERFECT time to practice gratitude because let’s be honest — you’ve got nothing else to do!

For example, all around the United States, toilet paper is hard to find. This is a perfect time to practice gratitude for the toilet paper that you currently have. Or, if you’re out (yikes!), then boy are you going to feel grateful when you get your hands on some more, right?

Toilet paper is one of those things that we don’t normally notice. We take it for granted. Toilet paper as we know it was invented 1857. Somehow, humans survived without it for eons. (I’m not actually sure how they did it — and I’m not sure I want to know.)

I’m guessing that you’ve never practiced gratitude for toilet paper. Well, there’s no time like the present. Shine some gratitude on the nearest roll!

Here are a few more examples to help you:

• Groceries: Many staple grocery items are hard to find. When they come back in stock, make sure to practice gratitude for them.
• Hunger: Hopefully, most of you are not going hungry during the pandemic. Practice gratitude as you put that first bite of food into your mouth. Savor it. Maybe it’s not the food you prefer — but it’s still food!
• Coffee: If you’re like me and you love coffee, you might take it for granted. Take a moment to imagine this pandemic without coffee. Unimaginable? I agree — which is why I drink my morning coffee mindfully and gratefully.
• Artists: Binge watching “Tiger King” on Netflix? Browsing The Met or MOMA online? Taking advantage of free books? Show some gratitude toward the artists who produced these materials. What would this pandemic be like without them!? Yikes!
• Family: Tensions may be high because of the close quarters. Many families haven’t spent this much time together since…well…ever. And yet, what are we doing all this for if not for friends and family? Underneath the social distancing is a desire for people to be well. Shine some gratitude on your loved ones, whether they’re blood or not.

Why Gratitude?

Practicing gratitude often throughout the day is like taking your medicine. Even during normal, non-pandemic times life can be incredibly stressful. Now things are even worse.

Stress levels are high. I don’t know about you, but I wake up every morning and wonder what kind of crazy news I’m going to find in the paper.

When you experience stress, your nervous system flips into fight-or-flight mode. This is the Sympathetic Nervous System. Cortisol, the stress hormone, is released and your body directs all of its energy (and blood) away from the internal organs and into the muscles and cardiovascular system.

If that’s happening all day long, if you’re never flipping back to the Parasympathetic Nervous System (i.e. rest-and-restore mode), then is it any wonder that your body is a wreck? Your body only heals when it’s in rest-and-restore mode, not during fight-or-flight mode.

Frequent bouts of gratitude flip us back into rest-and-restore mode which in turn gets the healing juices flowing.

The Gratitude Game

Remember when you were a kid on a road trip and played the “I Spy” game? I spy with my little eye something beginning with…

Gratitude works the same way. You’re walking through the road of life and you’re looking for opportunities to practice gratitude all day long.

This applies to the food that you eat, the shelter that you live in, your vehicle, the people you encounter, and whatever else pops up in the present moment.

Can you breathe and take a moment to feel grateful for…whatever that thing is?

The Key to Taming Anxiety with Gratitude

When using gratitude for taming anxiety it’s critical that you actually FEEL grateful.

You don’t just want to think about it; you don’t want this to be in your head. You really want it to be in your body. You want to feel a visceral reaction to this gratitude practice.

It may take some practice to get the hang of it. I speak from experience. I struggled with feeling gratitude in the beginning. I get it. I understand that this can be hard, but you need to keep practicing anyway.

One of the most important things you need to do is tame what we call the Monkey Mind. The Monkey Mind will often pop in and say, “What the hell do I have to be grateful for? Look at all these terrible things in my life! The pandemic is ruining everything!”

You have to be mindful of those thoughts. As you practice gratitude those thoughts will naturally creep in. That’s fine, but you have to convince yourself that no matter what your situation in life might be, you still have things to be grateful for.

If you don’t believe me, read Victor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning.

Victor Frankl was a prisoner in Auschwitz, the infamous Nazi concentration camp. I strongly suggest that you read the book, but long story short, he talks about maintaining meaning, gratitude, humanity, and compassion — even while in one of the most difficult, austere, and challenging conditions known to man.

People have been in situations worse than yours and still managed to find gratitude. This is good news. It means it’s within your grasp too.

So don’t allow your Monkey Mind to trick you into thinking “Oh, unless I have all these things, I can’t possibly be grateful!”

That’s not how it works. You can find things to be grateful for. Always.

In the end, what we’re really aiming for is to simply be grateful for life itself! This is the most advanced level of gratitude practice.

“You don’t have a life, you are life.” – Eckhart Tolle.

You are alive and you are life! And with practice you can start to feel gratitude for life itself regardless of life’s circumstances.

Even if you’ve run out of toilet paper.

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post How to Beat Anxiety During this Pandemic appeared first on Flowing Zen.

It’s time to break your New Year’s resolutions! Woohoo!!

Okay, maybe it’s not quite time yet. Maybe you’ll last a few more days, or maybe you’ll even make it to February!

But chances are, you’ll break your resolutions sooner or later.

In fact, you have a 92% chance of failing with your New Year’s Resolutions.

And yet you keep torturing yourself — year after year — with this resolution nonsense. If you’re looking for a better option, then keep reading.

Genies and Willpower

The transition to a new year stirs up a deep, primal desire to grow — to become a healthier, happier, and perhaps even wealthier version of yourself.

But this kind of growth requires change.

You probably know this already. And you probably think that willpower is the secret to that kind of change.

I’d like you to try an experiment right now:

• Sit or stand comfortably.
• Close your eyes.
• Snap your fingers.
• Magically summon a new car, out of thin air.

Did it work? Are you like the Genie of the Lamp?

I’m guessing not.

Then why the hell are you trying to snap your fingers and magically create willpower?

That’s just not how willpower works. In fact, you’ve got it completely backwards!

You don’t create change by adding willpower; you build willpower by creating change!

4 Magic Words for Success

Okay, so we’ve established that you want to grow in the new year.

And we’ve established that you need to change in order to grow.

And we’ve also established that summoning up willpower is not the solution to change, just like snapping your fingers isn’t the solution to buying a new car.

So what’s the solution?

Here is an incantation that might as well be magic because it’s so powerful:

Add tiny healthy habits.

Those 4 words are POWERFUL. Don’t underestimate them. Read them again. In fact, just go ahead and memorize them.

Making the Magic Work for You

To make these 4 words work, you need to keep two things in mind.

First, the habits must be small.

They should be so tiny and so easy that they require zero willpower. Look at the list below for examples.

And secondly, you should be adding habits, not subtracting them.

For the time being, forget about subtracting negative habits. For example, forget about quitting smoking. In fact, I would argue that you really shouldn’t quit smoking.

Instead, add a tiny, healthy habit.

By adding tiny, healthy habits your energy (or qi) will flow better, and you’ll naturally build more and more willpower.

Later — after you’ve built up stronger willpower muscles — only then should you even begin to think about subtracting a negative habit from you life.

Tiny, Healthy Habits You Can Add Right Now

I recommend that you pick one or two of the habits listed below, and commit to doing them for at least 30 days.

If you miss a day, then you start your 30-day count from scratch! Sorry kiddo. With tiny, healthy habits, there is zero tolerance for failure. That’s precisely why they are so tiny.

In fact, you shouldn’t be missing too many days because the habits are so easy. If you’re missing days, then try easier habits.

Here are 9 tiny, healthy habits that you can add to your life right now.

1. Do 2 Minutes of Qigong

If you choose only one habit from this list, choose qigong.

I often describe qigong as the master key that unlocks all of your other good habits.

If you don’t know any qigong, you can go learn a 2-3 minute routine for free right here.

If you’ve never heard of qigong, then you can start with this FAQ.

2. Walk More

Have you ever seen people driving around searching for a parking spot close to the fitness center? I have. It’s madness!

It’s amazing how many people neglect a free and easy habit that can literally transform their lives.

The research is clear. Walking is one of the best things you can do for your health.

Throughout your day, there are countless opportunities to walk. Park your car on the far side of the lot, get off the bus a stop early, get a dog, or just go walking with a friend (see #7 below) every morning.

(Note that the following links are Amazon affiliate links. This means I get a tiny commission if you purchase using my link, at no extra cost to you. I read about 75 books per year, so I’m grateful for your help in feeding my reading addiction!) 

If you get an activity tracker like a Fitbit or an Apple Watch, it’s MUCH easier to measure your progress. But if you have a smartphone, chances are it can already measures your steps.

What does a tiny walking habit look like? It can be as simple as going for a 2 minute walk ever afternoon. (If it’s raining or too cold, you can just walk inside for 2 minutes!)

3. Give

Yes, you can — and should — make a habit of giving.

Why should you give?

First, because giving feels good. Humans seem to be hard wired for giving.

Secondly, because the more you give, the more you have. I recommend a wonderful book called The Power of Giving, which explains this concept beautiful.

In the Zen tradition, giving also creates good karma. This doesn’t need to be anything mystical. When you give, you immediately feel good. Instant karma.

The more I give, the more I receive. For example, my wife and I give every month via GlobalGiving. We’ve been doing this for years, even when we were struggling financially.

If you can’t give money, then give service. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, mentor a child, or give random acts of kindness.

As an aside, if you are battling depression, then you should absolutely volunteer. Go do it right now. Click here to read why I think volunteering is so important for depressives.

4. Smile from the Heart

This Zen technique is as profound as it is simple.

Smiling from the Heart is something that we practice in our 5-Phase qigong routine. But you can do it any time, and virtually anywhere.

Pro tip: set a reminder on your smartphone to Smile From the Heart every day at a specific time.

I just started using the Breathe app reminder on the Apple Watch to accomplish this. Works like a charm!

5. Practice Gratitude

Happiness is not determined by the things or even the people in your life.

What brings real happiness is fully appreciating the things and people that are already in your life.

In other words, those who practice gratitude are also practicing happiness.

And practicing happiness builds willpower.

Notice that I wrote “practice gratitude” rather than “be grateful”.  I did that on purpose.  Gratitude is an art, and it should be practiced regularly.  There are countless things and people in your life that you can practice gratitude towards.

I practice gratitude every morning via my preferred day planner, called a Panda Planner. It prompts me to write down 3 things I’m grateful for.

I also practice gratitude during my qigong sessions.

Start practicing right now. And please consider joining us for Gratitude Mondays on our Facebook page, where we practice every week.

6. Be Mindful

Zen masters throughout history have encouraged disciples to be mindful not just during meditation or while practicing qigong, but while doing their daily tasks.

Whether it’s an enjoyable task (like eating), or a menial task (like cleaning), the Zen disciple was taught to give his or her full attention to the present moment.

We call this mindfulness. This is the secret to turning daily tasks into meditation.

The infinite is in the finite of every instant. – Zen Proverb

Try it. Pick a habit that you already have, like brushing your teeth, shaving, or cooking.

Now make a habit of being right here and right now with that habit. If you can remember to do it, then you’ll increase your work efficiency, decrease your stress, and boost your willpower.

You’ll also find that time slows down, and that life doesn’t just pass you by.

7. Find a Friend

People who are approaching the end of their lives never say, “I wish I had made more money.”

Instead, they say things like, “I wish I had spent more time with my friends and family.”

Humans are social animals. We crave a sense of community, and we need it too.

This concept of community is a huge part of the Zen tradition. Spiritual progress is always achieved with the help of a community, whether it is a monastery, a group of friends, or a school.

I’m a big believer in this concept, which is why I always work hard to create a sense of community in my students, both online and in person.

Some of the other habits that I mentioned above, like walking with a friend, or volunteering at a soup kitchen, will also help to build a sense of community.

You can kill two birds with one Zen stone!

8. Practice Loving Kindness

Metta Meditation, or Loving Kindness Meditation, is an ancient Zen practice that can change your life.

Of course, it’s not just from the Zen tradition. Jesus taught similar ideas, but used different words.

The way that I teach Metta involves 4 stages:

• Stage 1: Send loving kindness to someone you love (pets count).
• Stage 2: Send loving kindness to a neutral person, like a Starbucks barista.
• Stage 3: Send loving kindness to someone you dislike (one or both of the presidential candidates, for example).
• Stage 4: Send loving kindness to yourself.

Here’s a 10-minute guided audio where I lead you through all 4 stages. It’s free.

If you practice this meditation, and find it difficult – congratulations! You’re human!

It’s hard work. But it’s good work. It’s important work.

And it will build willpower like nobody’s business.

9. Breathe in, Breathe Out

You don’t need to breathe deeply, or use any special technique.  Just breathe.  More importantly, enjoy your breathing. You can do it right now, sitting at your computer.   Or go outside and breathe.

You say that you are too busy to meditate. Do you have time to breathe ? Meditation is your breath. – Ajahn Chah

Breathing is one of the simplest and most effective ways to meditate throughout your day. You can do it anytime, anywhere, and without any training.

You can do it while watching TV, while driving, even during a meeting.

It may see trite, but it really is that simple.  Make a habit of coming back to your breath, over and over, throughout your day.

The Takeaway

To create change in your life, add good habits. Start now. Pick a habit, and start.

I mean it.  Start right now, this very second. 

Smile from the heart, breathe, feel grateful, go for a walk, or whatever.

If you are serious about making changes in your life, then start building your discipline muscles right this very instant.

Start small. Make it easy at first. Gradually build up your willpower muscles over time.

As you get stronger, add more good habits. By the end of the year, you’ll not only have built strong willpower muscles, you’ll also have a bunch of healthy habits in your life.

This how you can pave the way to subtract bad habits in the future.

This is also how you’ll grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually year after year.

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 9 Life Changing Habits That Require Zero Willpower appeared first on Flowing Zen.

If you’ve never experienced a state of overwhelming gratitude, a state where you felt like your heart was going to implode from so much joy, where you felt tiny and huge at the same time, where every cell in your body was buzzing with fulfillment and freedom, then let me say that you are missing out on one of life’s greatest drugs.

To get to that state, however, you need to practice.

A lot.

I often meet people who say that they practice gratitude.

When I probe a little deeper I typically find out that it’s not true. They don’t practice it regularly. They don’t practice it the way that a violinist practices the fiddle.

Gratitude needs to be practiced every single day. And not just for a few minutes. I recommend that you try to practice it for at least 3 hours a day.

If this surprises you, if you’ve never thought about practicing gratitude daily for hours — I understand.

I was the same way once. Even today, I can’t say that I practice daily for 3 hours every single day.

But I try.

How can we get in so much practice? The key is that you can (and should) practice gratitude anywhere. Any time. All the time.

Start right now. Here are some ideas for injecting more gratitude practice into your life:

17 Tips for Practicing Gratitude All Day

1. Feel grateful before putting that first bite of food in your mouth. Food is amazing. Savor it.
2. Feel grateful before taking that first sip of coffee or tea. Look at it, smell it, enjoy it.
3. Feel grateful as you feel the water getting hotter in the shower. Hot water on demand? Wow!
4. Feel grateful for running water. It’s magical. You just turn the tap, and the water comes in. Unlike a billion people, you don’t have to walk a mile to the nearest water source. Aren’t you grateful for that?
5. Feel grateful for your vehicle. In Costa Rica, where I lead an annual qigong retreat, I meet people who will never own a car. If they have a scooter or a motorcycle, they are rich. Many of us own several cars per family. Isn’t that amazing?
6. Feel grateful for your spouse or significant other. Relationships are sometimes hard, but they’re also rewarding. Be grateful that this person is basically devoting his or her life to you.
7. Feel grateful for friends. You know the kind I’m talking about — those friends who would offer to help you move without hesitation. They’re awesome, and they are rare.
8. Feel grateful for your parents. Living or dead, good or evil, they brought you into this world. Feel grateful for everything they did for you, or in some cases, for all the tough lessons that they forced you to learn. Whatever you have become is partially due to them.
9. Feel grateful for your smartphone. It’s a tiny magic device that fits in your pocket and can connect you to anyone in the world from anywhere. It’s also something that you use all day, which is a great way to remind yourself to be grateful.
10. Feel grateful for your computer. Mine recently died, and I suddenly realized how important a tool it is. I’m grateful to have a new one.
11. Feel grateful for your ability to read. Do you realize that there are people around you all the time who can’t read? More than you might think.
12. Feel grateful for your TV. Sure, it may be an idiot box, but it’s still an amazing device that can let you experience all kinds of different things. Feel grateful whenever you turn it on.
13. Feel grateful for the health that you have (even if you want more of it).
14. Feel grateful for the teachers and mentors in your life. They have helped to mold you into what you are. And whether you realize it or not, you have made some of them proud.
15. Feel grateful for your home, whether you rent or own. As you put the key into the door, or click the garage door opener (another amazing device!), take a moment to feel grateful.
16. Feel grateful for your pets. It’s an amazing privilege to be able to take care of non-human beings. Every time you touch them, feel grateful.
17. Feel grateful for your mindfulness practice, whether it’s qigong, tai chi, yoga, sitting meditation, or something else. Invest gratitude back into these arts, because they will pay big dividends. (If you don’t know any qigong, then you an start right now on this page here.)

If you join my Facebook group, you’ll see me leading what I call “Gratitude Mondays”. Basically, I encourage people to share whatever they are grateful for. I recommend that you join us.

If you don’t like Facebook, then you can also join us here. Who or what are you grateful for? Tell us in the comments below.  

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 17 Zen Tips for Practicing Gratitude All Day Long appeared first on Flowing Zen.

Originally published: March 3rd, 2016

I haven’t had a cigarette in 10 years. Not one puff.

Today is a big milestone for me. I like to write, so this post is my way of celebrating. You can celebrate with me by reading along.

In 2013, I published a post entitled, Why You Shouldn’t Quit Smoking. It is one of my most popular posts of all time. I checked the stats, and 28,285 people have read that post. Wow.

I think it’s time for a sequel.

Today, I’d like to share 10 Zen lessons I’ve learned after 10 years an an ex-smoker.

For the smokers — please don’t worry. I’m not going shame you or try to guilt you into quitting. I hate that kind of shit just as much as you do.

If anything, I’m going to convince you NOT to quit, just like I’ve done with dozens of people over the last 10 years.

Let’s get started.

1. The grass is always greener…on my side.

“I can’t even imagine a life without cigarettes,” I said to a friend. This was maybe 15 years ago.

It was an existential problem for me at the time. All sorts of questions came up when I thought about quitting.

How would I drink my morning coffee without a smoke? What about meeting a friend for a beer in a bar? And what about that post-meal cigarette?!?

Now, I actually feel the same way – but flipped. It’s exactly the same feeling, except that now I can’t imagine life WITH cigarettes.

For example, I love my morning coffee so much that I can’t imagine dulling the rich aromas and subtle flavors with a cigarette.

I guess it’s sort of a “grass is always greener” conundrum – except that the grass is greener on whichever side I’m on.

I’m content where I am, without cigarettes. The grass is nice and green here, just like it was when I was a smoker.

2. Stop and smell the damn roses.

You’ve probably heard that your sense of smell returns after you quit smoking. In my case, my sense of smell not only returned; it turned into a super power.

Olfaction Man!

Okay, maybe I’m not a superhero, but for some reason, I now have a better sense of smell than people who never smoked.

I don’t know if some of this is because of qigong and tai chi. It might be. Whatever happened, I love it.

Imagine being given a new sense. That’s how I feel, and it’s one of the things I’m most grateful for 10 years later.

Olfaction has become one of my most profound ways of interacting with the world.

Food is a totally different experience with strong olfaction. And coffee. And bourbon.

You’ve heard the phrase “stop and smell the roses.” It’s a cliche, of course. Take time out of your busy schedule to stop and enjoy life, right?

These days, I take the cliche literally. There are roses all over Florida, and I stop to smell them as often as I can.

And they smell amazing, dammit. I can’t get over how good roses smell. They smell like nirvana.

Today, I go through life a bit more like my dogs — nose first. I have a better idea of how dogs experience the world, and it’s pretty amazing.

Speaking of dogs, I love the way mine smell.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a good smell. I live in the country, and my dogs run around outside chasing birds and squirrels all day.

They smell like dirty dog. But I love it. The odor is somehow directly linked to how I feel about my dogs. And I love my dogs. When I smell them, it’s as if I’m inhaling love.

3. I don’t miss my ex.

I honestly thought that I would miss smoking. You know, like you miss your ex a few months after the big breakup.

I don’t. I don’t miss cigarettes. I don’t think about them. And if they come into my awareness, at a bar for example, there’s no allure.

I guess the Buddhists would call this non-attachment. I find the Chinese term for this fascinating:

wú niàn
無   念

This literally translates to “no thought,” but actually means “not affected by thought”.

Not affected by thoughts of cigarettes. Yes. That’s exactly what I experience now.

4. I do miss the darkness.

I won’t lie. I lost some of the darker, bad-boy aspects of my personality when I quit smoking.

The dark side has an allure, right? Otherwise, Yoda wouldn’t need to caution us against it all the time!

Being alive is hard. And you know what? Sometimes, death and darkness can be kind of sexy.

Not suicide. I know all about suicide, but I’m talking about something different.

None of us are getting out of this thing alive. We’re all dying slowly. Some of us just die slower than others.

And yet, how often do you actually feel your mortality?

Smoking helped me get in touch with my mortality, with the primordial darkness in my soul. I knew cigarettes were killing me – but I also knew that life itself was killing me.

Ironically, killing myself a little faster made me feel more alive. At the time, when I was battling an unknown demon in my early 20s (that demon turned out to be major depression), feeling alive was a big deal.

I miss that feeling. Luckily, I found a replacement in the most unlikely of places.

5. I found my original face.

A koan (gongan, 公案) is a tool that Zen teachers use to test a student’s progress. Here’s a famous example:

“Without thinking of good or evil, show me your original face before your mother and father were born.”

(#23 from the the Wumenguan, or Gateless Gate.)

It’s pretty trippy stuff, right?

Becoming a ex-smoker was like a Zen koan for me, and I found my original face. Or at least a new face.

After I quit, I felt like my entire consciousness was up for renegotiation. Talk about a zen moment!

Maybe that’s why quitting smoking is so hard – because it’s not just about changing habits. It’s about changing identity.

All is impermanent, as the Buddhists say. Now I understand what they mean. I see that even my face, my self-identity, is impermanent.

5. I’m no longer afraid.

Actually, that’s not true. I’m scared shitless all the time.

I was afraid to quit smoking, afraid to live a life without cigarettes. But I quit. And it taught me something.

I learned that Mark Twain was absolutely right, that courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s mastery over your fear.

Or as John Wayne put it:

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” 

Life is scary for most people. And for me too.

But something changed a few years after I quit smoking. Fear gradually had less and less of an effect on me.

It wasn’t just quitting that changed me. I think it was the combination of facing fears while simultaneously practicing meditative arts like qigong and tai chi.

Meditation gives you the ability to observe your thoughts rather than just get swept away by them.

I still feel fear. But I’m able to sit with the fear, to just notice it and observe it I can’t say that I am able to control my fear, but one thing is for sure: fear no longer controls me.

6. I slayed a dragon.

This one probably sounds cliche. I’m sorry. It’s still the truth.

Cliche or not, I feel like I can do just about anything now. That feeling started a few years after I quit smoking.

I slayed a dragon when I quit smoking. It was kind of epic.

Maybe you’re thinking that I’m different somehow. Maybe you think that I’m brimming with self confidence.

I’m not. I’m full of self doubt, even today.

Self-doubt and self-criticism are common features of major depression, and I’ve wrestled with these feelings my entire adult life.

And yet, I quit smoking. Ten years ago. I did that. It actually happened.

Reminding myself of this fact helps me to continue to slay my internal dragons, especially those nasty dragons of self-doubt.

7. Smoking was a spiritual tool.

Smoking brought out the worst in me – the bad habits, the darkness, not to mention the coughing.

But it also brought out some of the best aspects, even before I quit.

The desire to quit, even after multiple failures, for example. That’s something beautiful.

“Fall down seven times. Stand up eight.” – Japanese proverb

I kept trying to quit, but kept failing. Back then, I didn’t understand willpower, or how it gets depleted.

That stubbornness, that persistence, the fact that I kept trying – that’s the human spirit at work.

It’s odd to think about smoking as a spiritual tool. But that’s exactly what it was for me. Smoking was a catalyst for my own spiritual grown. No doubt about it.

8. Shame is a problem for us.

The world has changed. Smoking isn’t like it used to be.

I remember smoking in cafes in New York. My favorite spot was The Hungarian Pastry Shop near Columbia University. Smokers sat on one side of the cafe, and non-smokers on the other.

Good times! At least for smokers.

Things started changing in NYC even before I moved to Florida in 2004. People began shaming smokers. Once, a complete stranger actually yelled at me for smoking on the street. On the street!

The topic of shame wasn’t on my radar until a few years ago. Honestly, I didn’t think it applied to me.

Then I read Brene Brown’s books. I read them reluctantly at first, mainly because my wife recommended them.

(If you’re curious, Daring Greatly is a good place to start, or you can try her free TED talk on shame.)

Having read all of Brene Brown’s books, I can now admit that I had WAY more shame about smoking than I thought.

I still have shame about it. I feel shame right now writing this.

What I’ve learned is that shame can’t stand the light. It thrives in darkness. Talking about your shame is a great way to start bringing it into the light.

You see what I’m doing here by writing this? Please do the same thing for yourself. Please start bringing your shame into the light.

(Note: If you are communicating with someone about their shame, then please learn how to use empathy correctly. Otherwise, you might make them feel worse. Brene Brown’s books are a great resource for this.) 

9. Smoking was a mindfulness practice.

Smoking was meditative for me.

I smoked mindfully while drinking my coffee. I stared at the sky, mindfully, while taking a smoke break at work.

I was lucky. I was practicing mindfulness arts like qigong and tai chi long before I quit smoking.

When I finally quit, I quickly realized that some of my cravings were actually mindfulness cravings. I was craving a moment of zen, not just cigarettes.

Now I just breathe instead of smoking. I read somewhere that a typical cigarette last about 14 drags. So now I take Fourteen Breath Breaks. Breathing is amazing.

I think it’s important for smokers to keep their mindfulness habits, and transfer them somewhere else. Find whatever works for you, but recognize when you’re craving nicotine, and when you’re craving zen.

Quit smoking if you’re ready, but don’t quit mindfulness.

10. You Shouldn’t Quit

Over the last 8 years, I’ve helped about 2 dozen people to quit smoking.

And you know what? Most of them weren’t ready to quit when they came to me.

So my old article still applies. In fact, that article is what helped them to quit later.

Keyword: later.

I’m not saying that my method is the only way. But I know that it works, and not just for me.

It also happens to be a very zen approach.

I can just imagine the Zen master in the temple saying:

“Grasshopper, to quit smoking, first quit quitting.”

Final Thoughts

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. And don’t forget to practice empathy, not just toward me, but toward everyone!

Also, you should congratulate me. I’m celebrating. Smoke a cigarette for me, and make sure you enjoy the hell out of it. 

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 10 Zen Lessons I Learned From 10 Years Without Cigarettes appeared first on Flowing Zen.

It’s definitely a 21st century problem.

In the old days, disciples were lucky to learn a handful of Qigong and/or Tai Chi exercises.  The question of what to practice never really arose.  You simply practiced everything you knew!

In the past, disciples also practiced more.  A lazy practitioner would log in at least 365 hours per year, and a dedicated one might practice 1500 hours.

Now fast forward to the 21st century.

Modern students typically learn dozens of exercises.  For example, in my studio, I regularly teach nearly 100 different Qigong exercises.  (Click here for an article about how many exercises you need to know.)

Modern students also practice less.  A typical student will log in 90-200 hours of practice per year.

This modern combination — more exercises plus less practice time — creates a dilemma for many students.   What to practice?!?!

Here are some tips to help you with that dilemma.

1. Embrace the Process

First of all, understand that this is a necessary process.   If you’re going to become a lifelong practitioner of Qigong and Tai Chi, then you must learn to take ownership of your repertoire of techniques, and your daily practice routine.  There’s no escaping this process, so you might as well embrace it!

2. Pick What You Like

Do you enjoy Pushing Mountains?  Then do it!  If you enjoy it, then it’s good for you!

I tell my students to choose what to practice the way a pregnant woman chooses what to eat.  She eats what she wants! And usually there’s a biological need underneath her choices.  She chooses beets because they provide her and her baby with a specific nutrient.

It’s the same with Qigong and Tai Chi.  When you choose exercises intuitively, you’re providing yourself with some sort of energetic “nutrient”. For example, you might chose an exercise that you like, but it just so happens to be for your back pain.  You don’t need to know which exercises are good for back pain.  All you need to do is choose techniques that you enjoy!

3. Pick What You Dislike

Do I contradict myself?  Very well, then I contradict myself.  Qigong is large, and contains multitudes!  (That’s a Walt Whitman reference for the literature geeks out there.)

Actually, it’s not a contradiction.   Sometimes, you should pick an exercise precisely because you dislike it. For some of you, a specific exercise probably popped into your mind as soon as you read that.

For example, some people dislike Three Levels to Earth (a Qigong exercise that involves a low squat) because it is challenging for them.  But the reason it is is challenging is because it is exactly what they need!

Don’t always pick exercises that you dislike.  Just once in a while.  And pay attention to how you feel afterward.  You may be pleasantly surprised!

4. Set Goals

If your goal is to be able to touch your toes in 3 months, then you had better choose exercises like Drumming Kidneys, Touching Toes.  If your goal is to clear emotional blockages, then you had better include the Five Animal Play. If you want to develop internal strength, then you had better be practicing the Warrior Postures.

Or, if you don’t have goals — well then no wonder you can’t decide what to practice! Folks, there’s a reason why I’m constantly emphasizing the importance of goal setting.  It’s important!  Get to it!

5. Use Your Intuition

The conscious mind processes about 40 thoughts per second.  Meanwhile the subconscious mind processes 40,000 thoughts per second.  Wrap your conscious mind around that!

Try to write poetry or compose music using your conscious mind.  It doesn’t work very well.  This is something that poets and musicians have known for centuries.  They rely on their “muse” to help them shift from the conscious to the subconscious mind.

If you tend to be the type of person who is stuck in your head, then it’s good exercise to practice getting out of the conscious mind.  The best way to to this is to choose exercises after you enter into a Zen state of mind.  In other words, don’t decide what to practice until you’ve already begun to practice.

6. Ask your Sifu

Sometimes, you need a little guidance.  That’s what a Sifu is for.

What are the 3 best techniques for healing my knees?  What Tai Chi exercises should I be focusing on at my level of development?  How often should I be practicing the Small Universe?

These are questions that your Sifu can (hopefully) answer.

7. Be Grateful

If you feel overwhelmed by all the choices, then start with gratitude.  Feel grateful that, by some cosmic coincidence, these amazing, life-changing arts traveled through history, across the globe, and fell into your lap.

When a kid walks into a candy store, she doesn’t fret over all the different choices.  She gets excited!   She’s happy!  What an amazing place a candy store is!

Be like the kid in the candy store.

8. Practice More

It’s amazing how much material you can keep in your repertoire if you practice more!  How do you think I learned (and remembered) so many exercises?  Because I practiced (and still practice) a lot!

This is especially true for those who practice Kung Fu (including Tai Chi Chuan).  If you practice more, then it’s easy to keep all of those different forms active in your repertoire.

For those of you who are working toward your 24 Qigong exercises, you can also benefit by practicing more.  If you only practice 15 minutes per day, then 24 exercises will feel like a lot.  But if you practice 15 minutes 2x per day, then 24 will feel much more doable.

9. When In Doubt, Lift The Sky

If all else fails, just go Lift The Sky.  It’s an amazing exercise that covers a lot of ground.  It gives you a wonderful spinal stretch, it balances the energy in your 12 Primary Meridians, it calms the Monkey Mind, it reduces stress, it stimulates the immune system, and it relieves pain.  Sounds pretty good to me! 

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post Help! I Can’t Decide What Qigong Exercises To Practice! appeared first on Flowing Zen.

Every Monday morning,  I make a post about “Gratitude Mondays” on my Facebook page.  I  post an update asking folks to comment about what they are grateful for today.  It’s good practice, and the comments are always interesting and heartwarming.

I started this a while ago because…well…people hate Mondays!  And that’s not a healthy way to start the day. It’s much better to start the day, and the week, with gratitude.

The longer I teach, the more I think that gratitude is the big secret of life.  I teach gratitude meditations in a wide variety of classes — classes that focus on health, classes that focus on prosperity, and classes that focus on happiness.

In other words — if you want health, wealth, or happiness, then gratitude is something that you should practice daily.

In my classes, I often teach a simple gratitude meditation.  You can try it yourself:

1. Stand upright.   Relax from head to toe. (Try my free qigong lesson if you don’t know how.)
2. Think of something or someone that sparks a feeling of gratitude in your.
3. Feel the gratitude in your body and breathe gratefully.

If you don’t feel it, then you’re not doing it right.  For those having trouble with gratitude, here are some tricks that I teach my students.

Tips for Mastering Gratitude: 

1. Start with physical objects. Do you have a favorite pair of shoes?  Is there a gadget, or piece of equipment, that you’re grateful for?  What objects do you own now that, just a few years ago, were only a dream?
2. Then move on to people.  Who are you grateful for?  A family member?  A dear friend?  A teacher (like, perhaps, your  qigong or tai chi teacher).  Consider also the barista who makes your coffee, the techie who fixes your computer, and the farmer who grows your food.
3. Finally, move on to opportunities.  This is large, wide category.  For example — feel grateful for the opportunity to use the Internet, which billions don’t have.  Or the opportunity to learn something new. Or the opportunity to connect with friends and family over the holidays.  Get creative.

Starting with objects, and then moving to people, and then finishing with opportunities will give you some structure for your gratitude practice.  Remember — gratitude should become a daily practice, not just something that you do once in a while.  Eventually, once you become skillful at practicing gratitude, you can maintain a feeling of gratitude throughout the entire day.

And if that doesn’t stop you from hating Mondays, then I don’t know what will! 

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 3 Easy Tips for Mastering Gratitude appeared first on Flowing Zen.

It’s that time of year again!  Time to gather with family, relax, enjoy good food and conversation, and leave all of your stress behind. Right? If that’s not how you typically experience the holiday season, if you need some help staying Zen, then here are 5 tips that you can start using immediately:

1. Learn the Art of Qigong

Imagine that it’s Christmas Day.  Imagine that you’re stressed out.  (Ah, but I repeat myself.)  Now imagine sneaking into a quiet bedroom and using your secret weapon to banish stress in as little as 2 minutes.

Teaching the self-healing art of Qigong is what I do for a living, and I’m passionate about it, so you can’t really blame me for putting this at the top of the list.  To me, there’s no better way to deal with stress – and not just during the holidays – than to practice this amazing art.  The results I’ve seen in myself and my students are simply astounding.

What is it?  Qigong (pronounced “chee gung”) is an ancient Chinese self-healing art that uses flowing movements and gentle breathing techniques. My students describe it as meditation in motion, hence the name of my school, Flowing Zen.  It’s similar to Tai Chi, except that it’s much, much easier to learn, requires zero athleticism, and can be practiced in as little as 2 minutes as day.

Of course, you have to find a good teacher, but the results are worth it.  Once you learn this art, you have a stress management system not just for the upcoming holidays, but for every holiday for the rest of your life!

In the meantime, you can get a taste of this art right now by learning a wonderful exercise called Lifting The Sky.

2.  Enjoy Your Food

Eating can be meditation. That’s the art of Zen.

If you feel yourself getting stressed at the table, then force yourself to come back to the food.  Look at the color of it.  Smell the aroma as you pass dishes around the table. Savor the different combinations of flavors. Put your fork down and chew each bite thoroughly.

It’s ironic that people spend so much time preparing food for the holidays, but are too stressed out to enjoy it.  Don’t be one of them.  Every time you feel stressed, every time someone at the table starts talking politics, just come back to the food.  That’s Zen.

3. Keep Your Mouth Gently Open

Not when you’re chewing, silly!  But the rest of the time, keep the mouth gently open with the jaw relaxed.  By relaxing the jaw, you actually relax your entire nervous system.  This is something that Zen masters have known for centuries, and is now being confirmed by modern science.

Whenever you feel stressed, check your jaw.  Is it tense?  Of course it is!  Now relax your jaw and breathe out through the mouth with a gentle sighing sound.  You’ll feel the difference immediately.  The sighing sound not only forces you to relax your jaw, but helps to release negative emotions.

4. Forgive

During the holidays, chances are high that you’re going to be forced to see someone who you feel wronged you in the past.  And they probably did.

Forgive them. If you cling to resentment and anger, then you are affecting your energy, your biochemistry, and your health. In other words, you’re just hurting yourself with that stuff. Even the Mayo Clinic recognizes the connection between health and forgiveness.

It is critical to understand that forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you condone what they did.  That’s not what forgiveness means.  We can forgive someone and still hold them responsible.  In fact, if they weren’t responsible, you probably wouldn’t need to forgive them in the first place.

In my experience, the best way to practice forgiveness is in a relaxed, meditative state. Stand upright, close your eyes, and relax from head to toe. Breathe out gently through the mouth with a sighing sound as described above. In a meditative state, it’s easier to let go of the negativity.  Keep the mouth open and the jaw relaxed as you practice forgiveness.

It also helps to take baby steps.  Don’t try to forgive 100% in one session.  Just do 1%.  That’s enough.  In fact, it’s a lot.

5. Be Grateful

When you’re stressed out, it’s difficult to practice gratitude.  And yet gratitude is the antidote to stress.

Are you worried that the turkey will be overcooked?  Be grateful that you have plenty of food to eat, unlike billions of other people on this planet.  Are you upset because someone is talking politics?  Be grateful that we have the freedom to disagree.  Are you stressed out because of the holiday traffic?  Be grateful that you have a car, not a bicycle, to take you where you’re going.

The secret is to feel it.  If you don’t feel it, then you’re not doing it right. It doesn’t matter what you use to spark the feeling.  What are you grateful for?  A pair of shoes?  A TV show?  A food or beverage?  Start there.

I can’t overemphasize the importance of gratitude.  If you can use it — and it’s not easy — then you’ll stay Zen not just during the holidays, but through the entire year.

It has become cliché to say “Happy Holidays”, but I mean it — really try to be happy this holiday season.  You can do it!  Put these tips into action, and you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to make the holidays happy.  You can also share these tips with friends and family.  Imagine everyone at the table keeping their jaw relaxed and their mouth gently open.  Now that’s happiness!

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 5 Ways to Stay Zen During the Holidays [Updated] appeared first on Flowing Zen.