It’s 2020. Bottoms up!
If you’re like me, then you’ve been drinking more heavily in 2020 because of all the stress. The world is on fire (literally and metaphorically), so we desperately crave stress relief. And alcohol serves this purpose perfectly — until it doesn’t.
In this post, I’m going to encourage you to join me and millions of others worldwide for Sober October. I’m also going to give you some tips, including qigong tips, that will make things even easier for you.
But from the beginning, I want you to understand that I am not a monk (not yet at least). For most of my adult life, I’ve drunk alcohol to varying degrees, from a low of maybe 4 drinks per week to a high of maybe 30 per week when I was battling depression.
So there is no “holier-than-thou” vibe in this post.
I first heard of Sober October in 2019. I saw a post on Instagram on October 2nd and decided, hey, I’m going to do this.
So I did just that. Even though I was late to the party, I jumped in and did 30 days without booze. In fact, I felt so good that I did 30 more right after it, just because!
My Experiments Without Alcohol
During my divorce in 2018, I started to drink heavily. I felt like my life had fallen apart and so I started to drown my sorrows in bourbon each night.
Cliche much? Yes, but it’s cliche for a reason.
One night, as I was drinking alone in my apartment, I started to have suicidal thoughts. The thoughts were mild, but they were definitely present.
I’m not a stranger to suicidal thoughts. However, I’m also well aware of the dangers. In 2017, the suicide rate was highest among middle-aged white men, who accounted for almost 70% of all suicides. At the time, I was a 46-year old man with a history of suicidal depression who was also going through a tough divorce. Danger, Will Robinson!
And so, without really knowing what I was doing, I decided to quit drinking for 30 days. Alcohol, I decided, was too dangerous for me during a divorce.
30 Days Without
I did 30 days without booze, using kombucha each night instead of my usual bourbon (see the tips below). And you know what? It really wasn’t that bad.
Within a week I started sleeping better. After 2 weeks my energy levels were much, much higher. And after 3 weeks my depression had stabilized even though the divorce process was still as stressful as ever.
Most importantly, the suicidal thoughts disappeared completely. Hey, maybe they call alcohol a depressant for a reason?
Yes, I missed alcohol, but the cravings were in my mind more than anywhere else. Thanks to qigong, I was able to use mindfulness to deal with these mind cravings (more on that later).
At one point, I actually went out to dinner with a friend and watched him drink beer while I drank Perrier.
I cannot tell you how impossible this had seemed just a month earlier. Go out to dinner without drinking alcohol? While other people are drinking around me? Impossible!
And yet, I did it. And you know what? It wasn’t that bad.
Is Alcohol Good for You?
I’m willing to bet good money that, by now, your brain is conveniently reminding you of the many research studies showing that alcohol, in moderation, is good for you.
I’m not going to argue against that research. I am, however, going to point out one key word: moderation.
Look, you’re reading this post for a reason. You know that you left moderation in the dust a few months back, and even if you’re not ready for Sober October right now, you’re at least thinking, “maybe next year.”
Good. That means you recognize the problem. Moderation has eluded you.
If you’ve said to yourself, “I’m not an alcoholic,” then I’m going to throw down the gauntlet: Prove it. A month without booze should be no big deal, right?
I used to worry that I was an alcoholic. But now, I know who’s boss because I proved it to myself. I know that I can quit drinking any time for 30 days or more (see below).
The Excuses
But 2020!
But RBG!
But my kids are driving me nuts!
But the election!
But Oktoberfest!
But I need to support my local liquor store!
Look, you will never run out of excuses, especially this year. If you want to justify drinking alcohol, there’s nothing I can say to convince you otherwise. And I’m not judging you either. It’s been a shitty year.
On the other hand, the beauty of Sober October is that it’s just 30 days. Afterward, you can go back to drinking — just in time for the election and the holidays!
Make it Annual
I contend that we should all do Sober October every year. If you choose to keep drinking, that’s totally fine. I’m not asking you to quit completely.
But I’m telling you that 30 days off can change your life.
Think of how strong you’ll feel if you make it through 30 days. At the very least, you will have showed alcohol who’s boss.
Even Classical Chinese Medicine is supportive of an annual Sober October!
According to Chinese Medicine theory, Autumn is a great time to detox your system and let go of what isn’t serving you.
This season is associated with the Metal Element, and the energy of Metal is all about letting go. Think about the trees this time of year — they’re letting go of their leaves. The is the process of cleansing that leads to the eventual renewal in springtime.
The Benefits of Sober October
When we think about going 30 days without booze, most of us think of hardship and struggle. While it’s true that Sober October will be a challenge, it also comes with many benefits.
- Control: Quitting for 30 days will give you a powerful feeling of control over your own destiny. You will will feel like you’re back in the driver’s seat.
- Nutrition: Alcohol interferes with nutrient absorption, especially the B vitamins. Taking a month off will help you to take in the nutrients you’ve been missing.
- Sleep: If you’re not sleeping deeply and waking up feeling rested, then you will never fully heal. Sleep is critical. Despite the myths, alcohol disturbs the normal sleep cycles. Do 30 days without booze and you’ll see just what you’ve been missing.
- Insulin: After just 1 month, your insulin resistance will improve. This is a very good thing.
- Weight loss: Along with better insulin resistance, you may lose a few pounds in October simply by cutting out alcohol. Or if you don’t lose pounds, you will probably lose a few inches, which is even better because it means you replaced fat with muscle.
- Immunity: Alcohol disrupts your immune system. A month without booze will boost your natural immunity.
- Mental clarity: You’ll be amazed at how much more focused you will be at work. You’ll also make decisions more easily.
- Cash money: How much money will you save on alcohol this month? Do the math. Is it $75, $150, or even more? What will you do with that money at the end of the month?
- Energy flow: Personally, I was amazed at the improved energy flow after quitting for just 30 days. This is reason enough to do it. Your qigong will jump a level in just 30 days. How cool is that?
If You Stumble
A central part of my qigong teaching is a Japanese proverb :
七転び八起き
Nana korobi, ya oki
Fall down 7 times, stand up 8
(I don’t speak Japanese so someone please correct me if this is wrong. I’m guilty of googling.)
This proverb can change your life in many ways. What I love about it is that it puts failure in the forefront. It tells you, from the very first word, that you’re going to fall.
That’s my kind of proverb!
The key is to get back up. And if you get back up one more time than you fall down — congrats! You’re winning at life!
If you fall and have a drink during Sober October, fine. That’s a failure, but it’s not the end of the world. Get back up and finish the month.
Even if, after 30 days, you fall down several times — keep getting back up.
The big mistake here is in thinking that you are practicing failure. Don’t allow thoughts like, “I’m such a loser I can’t even do 30 days without alcohol.”
Instead, recognize that you are practicing GETTING UP after each fall.
“I’m such a badass that I’m going to get up and try again.”
9 Tips for Sober October
So you’ve decided to give it a try? Great! Here are some tips based on my own experience:
1. One day at a time. This is the advice that AA gives its members, and hey, wouldn’t you know it? It works! For us, it’s even easier because we’re only doing 30 days. No big deal.
2. Drink kombucha. Technically, kombucha contains a tiny bit of alcohol because it’s fermented. But it’s a tiny amount. If you need to sip something in the evenings, then kombucha works great. Pour it in your favorite wine or bourbon glass. If it’s too sweet, then cut it with some sparkling water.
3. Do qigong. Most of you reading this already know qigong. For those who don’t I’m giving away a $100 course for free during the pandemic. Qigong is the PERFECT addition to Sober October because it provides us with instant stress relief. Even just 2 minutes of qigong can make you feel sooooo much better. Try it.
4. Walk. You’re going to have more energy very soon. Good. I suggest that you reinvest that energy into walking. This will help you to detox, help you to keep yourself busy, and also help you to get some fresh air, which is always a good thing.
5. Commiserate. I’ll be posting about Sober October in our free Facebook group and encouraging my students to try it. If you need to kvetch about something, or if you just need a pep talk, the post in the group. Not only will you get responses from your qigong classmates, but I’ll chime in too if you tag me!
6. Out of sight. I recommend that you put all alcohol out of sight for October. Put it in a closet where you won’t see it. Don’t trigger your subconscious cravings by keeping it in view.
7. Drink water. You probably don’t drink enough water. The rule of thumb is to take your weight in pounds, divide by half, and then convert that to ounces. So if you weigh 150 lbs, then you need to drink 150/2 = 75 ounces of water each day. If that sounds like a lot, then you’re probably chronically dehydrated. This is a great opportunity to hydrate your body. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel.
8. Use Square Breathing. Mindfulness is all the rage, but what does it really mean? Square Breathing is a simple technique that you can use to increase mindfulness, which in turn will greatly help with your alcohol cravings. I have found that just 4 Square Breaths can kill virtually any craving. It’s like magic. Click here for a free workshop I gave on the topic of anxiety. I teach Square Breathing at the 33:32 mark.
9. Stand up 8 Times. I explained this Japanese proverb already, but I’m putting it here too because it’s so useful. If you fall down, if you sneak a drink during Sober October, then get back up.
Will you be joining us for Sober October? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.From the heart, Sifu Anthony
Thanks Sifu Anthony,
Via the Urban Monk, Pedram Shogai, I went on a 100 day gong in autumn 3 yrs ago. No alcohol or caffeine. I had realized I was just medicating myself with alc to feel better. From Sept through Thanksgiving I abstained. It got easier and easier, esp drinking Klausthailer n. alc beer with lime. After the 100 days, my wife said, why don’t you just leave it for good? Some of the best words she ever uttered. Now I always wake up feeling good. Bonus, the Athletic Brewing Company has perfected craft non alc brewing. Their Run Wild IPA tastes great, and I was a beer snob. My Chi Gung got a lot better too, along with my tennis. I think the Taoist pattern of letting go bad habits in the fall is a game changer.
Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me,
Kevin Curtin, Ph.D
Good for you, Kevin. I’m not ready to give up caffeine, but I might end up quitting alcohol for good. I just feel better without it.
Non-alcoholic beer is an interesting idea. I haven’t tried it but if it works, then great!
Dear Sifu Anthony,
How can we deprive a Greek and an Italian of their coffee?
As you know dear Sifu, in Italy it’s a way of life! 🙂
The funny thing is, my Greek father doesn’t even drink coffee!
How timely! I am definitely up for this and thank you for all the tips too.
Good for you, Lesley!
I was an avid beer drinker most of my life, mostly in moderation, but got a little out of control sometimes. I love craft beer and used to brew my own before I had kids. In April 2019 I read a book called “This Naked Mind”. I was on and off about quitting drinking, but this book helped me immensely. I haven’t touched any alcohol (except kombucha) since Cinco de Mayo 2019 and it has been great. I have lost weight, saved a LOT of money, have more energy, and sleep much better. Quitting gives you a greater sense of control over your life. Even with 2020 misery, including Hurricane Sally for me, I haven’t been back to the beer.
I wish everyone the best with Sober October. Trust me, it is more than worth it. And I highly recommend checking out “This Naked Mind”.
I’ll check out the book. Thanks Karl. And good point about the money. I forgot to put that in the article. Let me add it now.
Regarding the book “This Naked Mind”, I forgot to mention that I listened to the audio book vs the physical book. I only mention that because I saw a few reviews that said the audio book helped them a lot more than the kindle/physical version.
Agreed
I want to do this
Please feel free to check up on me to help me keep on track 🙂
Good for you, Colin.Tune into the Facebook group. I’ll be active in there.
I have been sober 6 years and 9 months…Im more than happy to add another month to my tally, and let others know it can be done!
Good for you, Andraya!
Aloha! GREAT blog post! Was a highly functioning alcoholic since 23 years old, as I was president of a company in Japan and drinking lots of alcohol every day was considered part of the requirements of the job. I enjoyed it immensely. At 35 sold my businesses in Japan and started a sake brewery in Oregon. Great business which also required I drink a lot of alcohol daily. Sold the business at 45 and moved to Hilo Hawaii. Got super fit and realized alcohol was actually poison for me at this stage in my life. Gave a final toast of sake to “no more poison” and ZERO craving since. Now 63 and in love with life. Wondered why I drank so much poison for all those years…many of my business owner friends have used this “alcohol is poison for me” concept to stop drinking alcohol without the need for AA (which is a GREAT organization). Kudos to all who start with the one month sober challenge! Why drink poison?
Don’t know if a comment such as mine will be welcome here, but I will make it, and if it irritates people too much just please skip over it. I have not had a drink of alcohol since around 1972 (yeah I guess that makes me pretty old by a lot of people’s standards -not mine, I’m still on this side of the grass). I was a moderate drinker. Not going to mention science or alcoholism or anything like that here. What I want to mention is how much I observe in tv & movie media that drinking is being illustrated as a go-to for every situation life brings. Disappointment, celebration, etc etc. I don’t get it. Why grab a crutch whenever something happens? I can be the first one on the dance floor, be gloriously happy, and funny, and enjoying life…. I can handle the disappoints and tragedies, without getting bent out of shape….. I just want to encourage those trying this challenge to do so with an open heart and mind. Alcohol is actually NOT a necessity of life. And you may discover a clearer mind, a happier outlook, more control over your life, a path of fewer ups and downs, and uncover a self-empowerment sense of yourself. Good luck and blessings to all who attempt this. (Please excuse the length!!!!)
Agreed, Dorrie. And it’s actually quite liberating to be the first one on the dance floor (or whatever) and be completely sober. It’s like going to a restaurant or the movies by yourself. Who cares what other people think?!
A very timely post – as always. I was 70% committed, and now I’m going for it! Thanks so much bfor sharing with us 🙂
One thing I have found is that sometimes I crave alcohol because I am hungry, ie, the sugar. I used to walk from work to the subway, and it was easy to veer off and take a stop at the bar I frequented. My friends and I always had a good time there, the drinks were amazing, they had the best fries I’ve ever tasted and OMG their burgers, we had a great relationship with the bartender, and so many other things. All the pieces were in place to make me want to return again and again (except maybe the prices; at one point they upped the martinis to $20 a pop!). Then one day I realized I didn’t actually want a drink. I really just needed some food. That was a lightbulb moment for me.
Hello Sifu Anthony
I´m clearly sober, in fact, I can say I drink once or twice per year as much, but I will send this to my father who really needs it and will follow your program anyway because I think this will work with others behaviors that we might want to get rid of.
Thank you so much
Hi Sifu,
Thanks for sharing your uphill battle with alcohol! It is refreshing when someone not only names his/her addiction but also leads the way to recovery too with personal input based on experience, suggestions and most importantly *a plan!
I drink moderately but have had many a day of over consumption! I always felt rotten afterwards but I needed the crutch when I was younger and in a way still do! On a Saturday night it was, well, a way of life and still is in Ireland and I think everywhere now! Don’t get me wrong, I had a whale of a time too and to turn back the clock, I still would not change a thing!
It is not a problem now so I have decided to give up all things *sugary! I have a very sweet tooth and it is going to be very, very hard! As I don’t socialise much now, giving up alcohol would be too easy for me! Ask me again at Xmas time!
I would like to say finally that the label *alcoholic is there for a reason! All addictions and I have more than one are very tough to recover from and some people sadly do not! They are not selfish or weak but are enduring their cross with all of their strength. To walk a mile in another’s ones shoes clearly would help those lacking in understanding and patience!
I have been ranting on so I will leave it there! Thanks for your continued support and a brilliant qigong course!
Cheers, no pun intended, Siobhan in Ireland (South)😇
Beautiful, Dorrie. Thank you.
I’ve never had any trouble with alcohol — sober life is surprisingly easy when you get headache both WHEN and AFTER you drink. Still, I can’t help but second Kevin Curtin on non-alcoholic beer. It’s taste and refreshing qualities with alcohol literally vaporized out. Sadly, they call it not masculine enough, with all those jokes about first step to an artificial woman and so on. Still it won’t stop me (and my friends) from enjoying a can of Bud Zero on a hot summer day after a workout; and it’s not like Real Bead Drinkers are exactly Conans and Rambos.