I once practiced qigong for 4000 days in a row. That’s 11 years without missing a single day.

You’re probably imagining me as someone with tons of willpower and lots of healthy habits.

And you’d be right — if you were imagining me in my present form.

Today, I have boundless willpower, I eat my vegetables, I exercise regularly, and I even floss.

But back then — back before I did my 4000 days in a row — I was a different person.

This person, this former me, was just coming out of a severe episode of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD).

He had recently, and seriously, thought about committing suicide.

He smoked a pack of cigarettes daily, drank a 6-pack of beer every night, and ate vegetables only when they appeared on pizza, and even then reluctantly so.

He, this former me, was a hot mess.

So how did he change?

How did he transform from someone with minimal willpower and a basket of bad habits into the type of person who practices qigong 4000 days in a row and eats 6 servings of vegetables every day?

To help you transform your own life, I’ve distilled my success into 8 simple secrets:

Secret #1 – I Started Small

First, let’s back up. When I said that I practiced qigong for 4000 days in a row, were you imagining me doing hours of qigong every day?

Or perhaps a half hour?

At least 15 minutes, right?!? I mean, come on now!

No, no, and no.

The first secret to my 4000-day streak was that I did just 2 minutes on many of those days.

Sure, I did 15 minutes or even 2 hours on some days. And as I built momentum, those days happened more and more often.

But I didn’t start there. I started with just 2 minutes.

I now know that this is called a “tiny habit” and that there’s research to back up what I discovered on my own.

But I didn’t know that back then. At the time, I had never heard of tiny habits, and I had never read a book or article on willpower or habit making.

So how did I do it?

Well, I had one big thing going for me: A long list of failures (see secret #6).

I had already failed to quit smoking, to practice qigong daily, to change my diet, to get a meaningful job…

All of those failures, combined with my growing depression, led me to a dark, dark place.

So when I set out to change my life, I didn’t bother with the usual optimism and say, “I’m going to practice qigong for an hour a day for 4000 days!!!”

No. I knew I was a failure (see secret #6), and that I need a goal suitable for people like me.

(As an aside, I later learned that this phenomenon is called “depressive realism”. Apparently, we depressives are MORE realistic than non-depressives. Who knew?)

With only the tiniest dose of optimism, I said the following to myself:

“I’m going to practice qigong for a least 2 minutes a day for 30 days.”

Secret #2 – I Spent My Willpower Wisely

Are you imagining that I’m somehow different than you, that I was born with more willpower?

If I’m different than you, then I changed AFTER the 4000 days, not before.

Back then, I had almost no willpower. Everything I touched seemed to turn to failure.

But here’s what I discovered.

All humans have A LITTLE willpower, no matter how bad things are.

The trick is to be stingy with that willpower and spend ALL of it on one habit.

(And make sure it’s a tiny habit – see secret #1.)

Again, I think I got lucky.

I was so beat up from my past failures that I didn’t try ANYTHING else for those first 30 days.

I quit quitting smoking. (Click here to read my article on why you shouldn’t quit smoking.)

I stopped worrying about my diet.

I made peace with my crappy job.

In other words, I used ALL of my available willpower (which was minimal) to do my 2 minutes of qigong.

All of it. Every last drop.

And you know what? I STILL struggled.

One night, I was in bed when I suddenly realized that I had forgotten to do my 2 minutes.

I won’t lie. It was an epic act of will to get my ass out of bed and do 2 minutes of qigong.

“But you said that you didn’t use willpower!!!”

Hold your horses.

I said that I didn’t need any willpower for 4000 days, and that’s true.

But I DID need a teensy amount of willpower for the first 30 days or so.

This is the big secret that I didn’t know at the time, and that you probably still don’t know, which is the next secret…

Secret #3 – I Focused On Habit Building

If it still requires willpower, then it’s not a habit (yet!).

Real habits don’t require willpower.

Do you need willpower to brush your teeth? No, because it’s a habit. There’s no decision to be made, no hemming and hawing, no guilt. You just brush your teeth and get on with your day.

That’s a real habit. It’s on autopilot, and it happens effortlessly.

That’s what I did with my 2-minute qigong habit.

I spent all of my limited willpower (secret #2) on practicing qigong for 2 minutes a day (secret #1) until it became a real habit (secret #3).

The first 30 days consisted of 2 minutes of the worst qigong you’ve ever seen.

I mean, it was awful stuff. Even if you know nothing about qigong you would know that it was awful.

It was a struggle, but after about 30 days, something magical happened.

You know how you wake up some mornings and, before you know it, before you’re really awake, you’ve already brushed your teeth?

Well that happened with qigong.

I was still groggy. I was getting ready for work. And then it hit me.

I had done 2 minutes of qigong without even trying! It had just happened!

That was a huge win for me.

Another win was that I had done 30 days in a row, something that had seemed impossible 30 days earlier.

I had a streak going. Every day, I put a check box on my calendar. I liked seeing all those check boxes.

(I now know that this is called The Seinfeld Method, named after the comedian’s method for writing every day. I didn’t know this at the time, but maybe all those years of watching Seinfeld paid off somehow?)

With 30 check boxes in a row, it was an easy decision to shoot for another 30.

And then another.

And before I knew it, I had 4000 in a row.

Secret #4 – I Took Stress Seriously

We all know we’re stressed out, but not many of us take it seriously.

We only take stress seriously AFTER something breaks, AFTER our health suffers.

But for some reason, I took stress seriously, even in my 20s.

Maybe it’s because my grandfather, who I never met, died of a heart attack in his early 50s.

Or maybe it’s because I was already broken, because I knew that something was terribly wrong with me, and I knew that it was connected to stress. (It wasn’t until later that I was officially diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.)

Whatever the reason, I was serious about de-stressing, and I knew that it was up to me to do.

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I do remember hearing a saying that went something like this:

Showering doesn’t last, and neither does stress relief — which is why both must be done daily.

I was only doing 2 minutes a day, but I was doing SOMETHING, and that alone helped me to feel good about myself, which in turn relieved some of my stress.

And of course, the more qigong that I did, the more stress I relieved, and the better I felt, creating positive feedback loop.

Secret #5 – I Added Before Subtracting

I desperately wanted to quit smoking. Every day, 20 times a day, I felt like a complete asshole when I lit up.

But I had tried to quit, and failed. Over and over.

So I decided to quit quitting. The idea was to get some healthy habits going first.

And you know what? It worked like a charm.

Years later, I quit smoking for good. I haven’t had a puff since then, and I never will.

But before doing getting to that point, I had already added several healthy habits to my life.

I started with 2 minutes of qigong. Then, quite naturally, I started to eat better and exercise more. And so on.

In other words, I added the good before subtracting the bad.

Secret #6 – I Failed

Sometimes students look at me as if I’m perfect.

The look on their faces say, “How would YOU know what I feel like?”

I always want to punch that look right in the kisser!

I know failure, dammit!

Years ago, the title “master” made me uncomfortable. I winced whenever people used it on me.

Two quotes changed my mind:

‘The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.” – Stephen McCranie

“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.” – Niels Bohr

I’ve failed more at qigong than the beginner has even tried. I’ve made all the mistakes which can be made in the field of qigong.

I’m a master.

I know failure. The key is that I learned to embrace it as part of my journey.

Secret #7 – I Embraced Mindfulness

Speaking of embraces, I also embraced mindfulness.

This was the late 1990s. Mindfulness wasn’t in vogue yet.

But somehow, I knew it was the big secret. I knew that I desperately needed it in my life.

I had tried Japanese style sitting meditation (zazen), and failed miserably (see secret #6).

I had also tried yoga. Another failure.

I tried karate, and although I succeeded with the fighting aspects of the art, there wasn’t much mindfulness in there. I might as well have been practicing soccer.

But I didn’t let the failures stop me, and I kept looking.

I knew, on an intuitive level, that I had lost control of my life and my habits, and that mindfulness was the only way I was going to get it back.

The latest research proves that I was right. Here’s a quote from an article from PsychCentral:

“Mindfulness helps people feel less defensive when exposed to important health messages — such as “stop smoking so you can live longer” — and more likely to be motivated to make changes”

Secret #8 – I Found the Right Art

“I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to learn qigong!”

I hear this from a lot of students, regardless of their age.

I felt the same way. It just clicked for me. I knew I was home.

I’m not saying that qigong is for everyone. It’s not. I don’t think the cosmos works like that.

Qigong is not for everyone, but mindfulness absolutely is.

Don’t give up on mindfulness, even if you’ve failed with other arts in the past.

If you haven’t tried qigong, then please do so. Maybe it will feel like coming home.

How to Create Habits That Stick

I’m so passionate about this subject that I poured my knowledge, my experience, and my heart into an online course called:

2 Minute Qigong: The Key to Creating Habits That Stick

This online course is all about using a 2-minute daily qigong practice as a gateway to other healthy habits.

Sound familiar? It should because it will show you all of the secrets mentioned in this article.

May this course help you to transform your life for the better, starting with just 2 minutes a day!

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post How to Do 4000 Consecutive Days of Qigong (No Willpower Required) appeared first on Flowing Zen.

Everyone wants more willpower. More, more, more!

And that’s because everyone knows that willpower is like magic fairy dust. Sprinkle this dust on a decision, and POOF!! Things start to change, like magic.

And vice versa. Nothing happens without willpower.

If you decide that you want to exercise more, but you’re fresh out of magic willpower dust — then nothing’s gonna change.

That’s why everyone wants more.

But many people don’t know what willpower really is.

For example, I meet many people who say that they’d LOVE to practice qigong.

When I ask them why they don’t, they give the same answer: “I just don’t have enough willpower.”

In other words, they think that they need willpower BEFORE practicing an art like qigong.

This is bass ackwards. The exact opposite is true.

Qigong is the perfect choice for people who struggle with willpower. Here are the top 10 reasons why:

1. It builds willpower

Willpower is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, then it gets flabby.

If you feel like you lack willpower, then your willpower muscles are flabby.

Qigong is how you’ll whip those muscles into shape.

Do you need more endurance before starting a jogging habit? No, jogging is precisely the thing that will help you build more endurance!

The same is true with qigong — it is precisely the thing that will help you to build more willpower.

The latest research suggests that practicing mindfulness meditation every day builds willpower by nurturing the gray matter in your brain. (Click here to read more about why qigong is a form of mindfulness meditation.)

Everyone is talking about meditation these days. For example, in her book, The Willpower Instinct, Dr. Kelly McGonigal talks about building willpower through meditation. She even offers guided meditations.

In my experience, qigong is even better at building willpower than guided meditations and sitting meditation.

I’ve seen qigong build willpower in people who swore that they were hopeless. I’ve seen it work where everything else has failed.

2. It only takes 15 minutes

Many people think that you need to dedicate an hour or more to qigong.

That’s just not true of many styles of qigong, and it’s certainly not true of Flowing Zen Qigong.

Do you have 15 minutes?

The basic qigong routine that I teach is roughly 15 minutes long, and that’s enough to get remarkable results.

Of course, I have students who practice longer than 15 minutes. But that’s because they WANT to.

At that point, it’s a labor of love, and willpower is no longer an issue.

3. Okay fine, it only takes 2 minutes!

We all have bad days, especially when we are still building our willpower muscles.

Some days, we don’t even have the willpower for 15 minutes.

That’s where the 2-Minute Drill comes in!

The 2-Minute Drill saved my life. It’s how I developed the daily habit of qigong, even while wrestling with clinical depression.

I had zero willpower, so I just practiced for 2 minutes. That’s it.

Sure, my results were less spectacular than if I had practiced for 15 minutes, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that I practiced every day!!

Practicing for 2 minutes every day gradually gave me the willpower to practice for 15 minutes per day. From there, I gradually worked all the way up to 3 hours per day!

I started with 2 minutes. And you can do the same.

(If you want to try approach, then I recommend that you try my 30-Day Energy challenge, which is great for building a 2 minute daily routine. It’s free.)

4. It’s stress relieving.

Did you know that stress drives you to increase your current habits?

For example, if you smoke, then stress will drive you to smoke more. (I know this from experience.)

But here’s something you might not know: It doesn’t matter if your habits are good or bad.

In other words, stress can drive you to good habits just as easily as it drives you to bad habits.

If you have a healthy habit like qigong, then stress will drive you to do it more.

The more stressed out you are, the more qigong you’ll practice!

5. It’s not physically demanding.

Exercising is hard.

Qigong is easy.

You don’t need equipment, you don’t need special clothes, you don’t need to schlep to the gym, and you don’t need to break a sweat.

All of those things require willpower, and all of those things are unnecessary with qigong.

6. It’s feels great

There are few things in life as enjoyable as a good qigong session.

For those of us who’ve been practicing for years, qigong is like the best drug ever. Not only does this drug get us high on life, but it has no negative side effects!

Gimme another hit of qigong, dude!

7. It’s medicine.

Qigong is enjoyable to practice — but even if it weren’t, I would still practice it daily.

Why?

Because it’s my medicine. If the medicine works, then I’ll take it even if it’s terrible and bitter.

But qigong isn’t bitter! It’s delicious!

If qigong had a warning label, it would read:

Side effects may include spontaneous mood elevation, increased willpower, and deeper sleep.

8. The form is not important

In qigong, the physical movement is the least important aspect. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I actually encourage my students to butcher the physical form. This frees them the dreaded disease of perfectionism.

When you stop worrying about the form, you’re free to enjoy your breathing. You’re free to enjoy the exercise, even if it’s not perfect.

Many students tell me that this freedom is what made them fall in love with qigong.

9. It’s not a martial art (but it can lead to one later)

Don’t get me wrong. Martial arts are a fantastic way to build discipline.

I’ve practiced and taught various martial arts since 1992. I can say, without equivocation, that martial arts are not for everyone.

If martial arts are not for you, then Qigong is a fantastic choice. It gives you a kung-fu-free approach that still has many of the same benefits.

And later, if you change their mind and want to try a holistic martial art like tai chi, then you’ll be well prepared, thanks to qigong.

10. Maturity matters.

To become a world-class violinist, you need to start learning before the age of 5.

Not so with qigong. In fact, maturity is an asset for this art.

Why do they say that youth is wasted on the young?

It’s because when you’re young, you don’t fully appreciate how amazing it is to be healthy, to have full mobility, and to be able to eat whatever you want.

But as you age, you start to appreciate the little things.

Maybe that’s why they also say that life begins at 40?

As you age, you not only develop a greater appreciation for health, but you also develop qualities that are essential for qigong — like patience, an appreciation for subtlety, and a broader perspective.

The truth is that most people who start qigong before adulthood don’t stick with it.

But adults who fall in love with qigong often make it a lifelong practice.

“I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to discover qigong.”

That’s a statement that I hear from a lot of students.

Qigong gives you the opportunity to reinvent yourself at any age. And of course, it also gives you plenty of magic willpower dust to implement the necessary changes!

You might also enjoy: Tips From a Kung Fu Master: Willpower Isn’t What You Think

What about you? Do you struggle with willpower? If so, have you tried qigong yet?

Or have you already used qigong to build willpower?

Either way, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below! 

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 10 Reasons to Try Qigong If You Need More Willpower appeared first on Flowing Zen.

Originally published: March 3rd, 2016

I haven’t had a cigarette in 10 years. Not one puff.

Today is a big milestone for me. I like to write, so this post is my way of celebrating. You can celebrate with me by reading along.

In 2013, I published a post entitled, Why You Shouldn’t Quit Smoking. It is one of my most popular posts of all time. I checked the stats, and 28,285 people have read that post. Wow.

I think it’s time for a sequel.

Today, I’d like to share 10 Zen lessons I’ve learned after 10 years an an ex-smoker.

For the smokers — please don’t worry. I’m not going shame you or try to guilt you into quitting. I hate that kind of shit just as much as you do.

If anything, I’m going to convince you NOT to quit, just like I’ve done with dozens of people over the last 10 years.

Let’s get started.

1. The grass is always greener…on my side.

“I can’t even imagine a life without cigarettes,” I said to a friend. This was maybe 15 years ago.

It was an existential problem for me at the time. All sorts of questions came up when I thought about quitting.

How would I drink my morning coffee without a smoke? What about meeting a friend for a beer in a bar? And what about that post-meal cigarette?!?

Now, I actually feel the same way – but flipped. It’s exactly the same feeling, except that now I can’t imagine life WITH cigarettes.

For example, I love my morning coffee so much that I can’t imagine dulling the rich aromas and subtle flavors with a cigarette.

I guess it’s sort of a “grass is always greener” conundrum – except that the grass is greener on whichever side I’m on.

I’m content where I am, without cigarettes. The grass is nice and green here, just like it was when I was a smoker.

2. Stop and smell the damn roses.

You’ve probably heard that your sense of smell returns after you quit smoking. In my case, my sense of smell not only returned; it turned into a super power.

Olfaction Man!

Okay, maybe I’m not a superhero, but for some reason, I now have a better sense of smell than people who never smoked.

I don’t know if some of this is because of qigong and tai chi. It might be. Whatever happened, I love it.

Imagine being given a new sense. That’s how I feel, and it’s one of the things I’m most grateful for 10 years later.

Olfaction has become one of my most profound ways of interacting with the world.

Food is a totally different experience with strong olfaction. And coffee. And bourbon.

You’ve heard the phrase “stop and smell the roses.” It’s a cliche, of course. Take time out of your busy schedule to stop and enjoy life, right?

These days, I take the cliche literally. There are roses all over Florida, and I stop to smell them as often as I can.

And they smell amazing, dammit. I can’t get over how good roses smell. They smell like nirvana.

Today, I go through life a bit more like my dogs — nose first. I have a better idea of how dogs experience the world, and it’s pretty amazing.

Speaking of dogs, I love the way mine smell.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a good smell. I live in the country, and my dogs run around outside chasing birds and squirrels all day.

They smell like dirty dog. But I love it. The odor is somehow directly linked to how I feel about my dogs. And I love my dogs. When I smell them, it’s as if I’m inhaling love.

3. I don’t miss my ex.

I honestly thought that I would miss smoking. You know, like you miss your ex a few months after the big breakup.

I don’t. I don’t miss cigarettes. I don’t think about them. And if they come into my awareness, at a bar for example, there’s no allure.

I guess the Buddhists would call this non-attachment. I find the Chinese term for this fascinating:

wú niàn
無   念

This literally translates to “no thought,” but actually means “not affected by thought”.

Not affected by thoughts of cigarettes. Yes. That’s exactly what I experience now.

4. I do miss the darkness.

I won’t lie. I lost some of the darker, bad-boy aspects of my personality when I quit smoking.

The dark side has an allure, right? Otherwise, Yoda wouldn’t need to caution us against it all the time!

Being alive is hard. And you know what? Sometimes, death and darkness can be kind of sexy.

Not suicide. I know all about suicide, but I’m talking about something different.

None of us are getting out of this thing alive. We’re all dying slowly. Some of us just die slower than others.

And yet, how often do you actually feel your mortality?

Smoking helped me get in touch with my mortality, with the primordial darkness in my soul. I knew cigarettes were killing me – but I also knew that life itself was killing me.

Ironically, killing myself a little faster made me feel more alive. At the time, when I was battling an unknown demon in my early 20s (that demon turned out to be major depression), feeling alive was a big deal.

I miss that feeling. Luckily, I found a replacement in the most unlikely of places.

5. I found my original face.

A koan (gongan, 公案) is a tool that Zen teachers use to test a student’s progress. Here’s a famous example:

“Without thinking of good or evil, show me your original face before your mother and father were born.”

(#23 from the the Wumenguan, or Gateless Gate.)

It’s pretty trippy stuff, right?

Becoming a ex-smoker was like a Zen koan for me, and I found my original face. Or at least a new face.

After I quit, I felt like my entire consciousness was up for renegotiation. Talk about a zen moment!

Maybe that’s why quitting smoking is so hard – because it’s not just about changing habits. It’s about changing identity.

All is impermanent, as the Buddhists say. Now I understand what they mean. I see that even my face, my self-identity, is impermanent.

5. I’m no longer afraid.

Actually, that’s not true. I’m scared shitless all the time.

I was afraid to quit smoking, afraid to live a life without cigarettes. But I quit. And it taught me something.

I learned that Mark Twain was absolutely right, that courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s mastery over your fear.

Or as John Wayne put it:

“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” 

Life is scary for most people. And for me too.

But something changed a few years after I quit smoking. Fear gradually had less and less of an effect on me.

It wasn’t just quitting that changed me. I think it was the combination of facing fears while simultaneously practicing meditative arts like qigong and tai chi.

Meditation gives you the ability to observe your thoughts rather than just get swept away by them.

I still feel fear. But I’m able to sit with the fear, to just notice it and observe it I can’t say that I am able to control my fear, but one thing is for sure: fear no longer controls me.

6. I slayed a dragon.

This one probably sounds cliche. I’m sorry. It’s still the truth.

Cliche or not, I feel like I can do just about anything now. That feeling started a few years after I quit smoking.

I slayed a dragon when I quit smoking. It was kind of epic.

Maybe you’re thinking that I’m different somehow. Maybe you think that I’m brimming with self confidence.

I’m not. I’m full of self doubt, even today.

Self-doubt and self-criticism are common features of major depression, and I’ve wrestled with these feelings my entire adult life.

And yet, I quit smoking. Ten years ago. I did that. It actually happened.

Reminding myself of this fact helps me to continue to slay my internal dragons, especially those nasty dragons of self-doubt.

7. Smoking was a spiritual tool.

Smoking brought out the worst in me – the bad habits, the darkness, not to mention the coughing.

But it also brought out some of the best aspects, even before I quit.

The desire to quit, even after multiple failures, for example. That’s something beautiful.

“Fall down seven times. Stand up eight.” – Japanese proverb

I kept trying to quit, but kept failing. Back then, I didn’t understand willpower, or how it gets depleted.

That stubbornness, that persistence, the fact that I kept trying – that’s the human spirit at work.

It’s odd to think about smoking as a spiritual tool. But that’s exactly what it was for me. Smoking was a catalyst for my own spiritual grown. No doubt about it.

8. Shame is a problem for us.

The world has changed. Smoking isn’t like it used to be.

I remember smoking in cafes in New York. My favorite spot was The Hungarian Pastry Shop near Columbia University. Smokers sat on one side of the cafe, and non-smokers on the other.

Good times! At least for smokers.

Things started changing in NYC even before I moved to Florida in 2004. People began shaming smokers. Once, a complete stranger actually yelled at me for smoking on the street. On the street!

The topic of shame wasn’t on my radar until a few years ago. Honestly, I didn’t think it applied to me.

Then I read Brene Brown’s books. I read them reluctantly at first, mainly because my wife recommended them.

(If you’re curious, Daring Greatly is a good place to start, or you can try her free TED talk on shame.)

Having read all of Brene Brown’s books, I can now admit that I had WAY more shame about smoking than I thought.

I still have shame about it. I feel shame right now writing this.

What I’ve learned is that shame can’t stand the light. It thrives in darkness. Talking about your shame is a great way to start bringing it into the light.

You see what I’m doing here by writing this? Please do the same thing for yourself. Please start bringing your shame into the light.

(Note: If you are communicating with someone about their shame, then please learn how to use empathy correctly. Otherwise, you might make them feel worse. Brene Brown’s books are a great resource for this.) 

9. Smoking was a mindfulness practice.

Smoking was meditative for me.

I smoked mindfully while drinking my coffee. I stared at the sky, mindfully, while taking a smoke break at work.

I was lucky. I was practicing mindfulness arts like qigong and tai chi long before I quit smoking.

When I finally quit, I quickly realized that some of my cravings were actually mindfulness cravings. I was craving a moment of zen, not just cigarettes.

Now I just breathe instead of smoking. I read somewhere that a typical cigarette last about 14 drags. So now I take Fourteen Breath Breaks. Breathing is amazing.

I think it’s important for smokers to keep their mindfulness habits, and transfer them somewhere else. Find whatever works for you, but recognize when you’re craving nicotine, and when you’re craving zen.

Quit smoking if you’re ready, but don’t quit mindfulness.

10. You Shouldn’t Quit

Over the last 8 years, I’ve helped about 2 dozen people to quit smoking.

And you know what? Most of them weren’t ready to quit when they came to me.

So my old article still applies. In fact, that article is what helped them to quit later.

Keyword: later.

I’m not saying that my method is the only way. But I know that it works, and not just for me.

It also happens to be a very zen approach.

I can just imagine the Zen master in the temple saying:

“Grasshopper, to quit smoking, first quit quitting.”

Final Thoughts

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. And don’t forget to practice empathy, not just toward me, but toward everyone!

Also, you should congratulate me. I’m celebrating. Smoke a cigarette for me, and make sure you enjoy the hell out of it. 

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post 10 Zen Lessons I Learned From 10 Years Without Cigarettes appeared first on Flowing Zen.

Stop kidding yourself. You’re not ready to quit.

And that’s okay. The sooner you admit that you’re not ready, the sooner you’ll be able to quit once and for all.

I smoked for over 10 years. A pack a day for most of that time.

I tried to quit 14 times. Some attempts lasted a few days. Others lasted as long as 9 months.

But all 14 attempts had one thing in common — I wasn’t ready.

“It’s easy to quit smoking.  I’ve done it hundreds of times.” – Mark Twain

Not convinced?  Still think you’re ready? Fine.  Then answer this question:

Right now, this very instant, can you honestly say that you are ready to never take another drag from a cigarette?  Not a single drag.  Not ever.   Starting right now.

If your answer was “no,” or if you found yourself arguing with the question, then you’re not ready.  But I already knew your answer.  How did I know?  Because you’re reading this article.

I’ve helped dozens of students to successfully quit smoking.  If you follow the steps below, then you’ll succeed too.  And you won’t have to fail 14 times like I did.

Step 1: Admit It

You’re an addict. There’s no shame in admitting that. I am an addict too. And I quit smoking years ago!

So why do I still call myself an addict? Once an addict, always an addict. Especially with nicotine, the king of addictions.

During one attempted quit, let’s call it attempt #5, I actually picked up someone’s half-smoked cigarette from the ground. It was surreal, as if I wasn’t in control of my actions. I stopped myself midway, as if waking from a nightmare, but wow — that’s addiction!

I can admit that I’m an addict. Can you?

Step 2: Know Thy Enemy

Nicotine is powerful stuff. It crosses the blood-brain barrier and messes with your dopamine pathways. After years of smoking, those pathways get altered. In other words, smoking physically changes your brain.

If you’ve been smoking for a few years, then your brain has been conditioned to responded to nicotine. Think about how many cigarettes, day in and day out, you’ve smoked. That’s a lot of training. No wonder your brain changed.

Can those dopamine pathways heal? Probably. I agree with Dr. Rankin that there is “no such thing as an incurable illness”, and I’ve seen the incredible power of self-healing in myself and thousands of students.

But when it comes to nicotine, it can take years to heal those pathways. So it’s a conundrum. By the time your dopamine pathways heal, by the time you MIGHT be able to take a drag without getting addicted, you’ll no longer have any desire to do so.

Step 3: Know Thyself

I can sit in a bar, surrounded by smokers, and have zero desire to smoke. If someone offers me a cigarette, I say “I don’t smoke” without hesitation, and without a second thought. Even when major stresses come into my life, I still don’t feel any urge to go buy a pack.

So I’m “cured” of smoking, right? Yes. But you know what? Even after all these years without a cigarette, even with my daily Qigong and Tai Chi practice, even with all the acupuncture I’ve received — I’m still not sure if my dopamine pathways are 100% back to normal.

And it doesn’t matter. Because I’m not going to find out. Even after all these years as an ex-smoker, I believe that a single drag might be enough to reignite the dopamine pathways and send me right back into addiction. That belief, whether it’s true or not, serves me well. It helps me in my mission to remain smoke free.

I’m an addict, and I understand the addictive nature of nicotine. I’ll never take another puff in my life. I won’t risk it. Period.

Step 4: Make Peace

Are you bargaining in your mind? Are you trying to rationalize a future where you can smoke cigarettes now and then? If so — forget it. That’s the addiction talking.  Once you break the addiction, you’ll think much more clearly.

You don’t have to quit now (we’ll get to that part soon). But once you do, you can’t smoke ever again. Make peace with that. You don’t have to like this advice, but for your own sake, you should make peace with it.

If you do the research, you’ll find that all ex-smokers agree on this issue.  All of us have one thing in common — we’re completely done with smoking.  That chapter is over.

What about those people who can just smoke on weekends?  Personally, I think they may be aliens in disguise. I’m not sure that they’re human.  Certainly, they are not addicted like you are, or like I was.   They aren’t REAL smokers.

I desperately wanted to believe that I could be like them, and I tried really hard to do it.  But it didn’t work.   At least 8 of my quit attempts failed because I tried to smoke “just now and then”.

It doesn’t work.  Ask any ex-smoker.  The next time you quit, it’s got to be forever.

Step 5: Quit Quitting.

Now for the fun part.  If you’ve been stressed out thinking about never smoking again, then relax.  You’re not quitting now. In fact, I want you to quit quitting.

The next time you quit will be the last.  Until then, you’re  going to continue smoking — and you’re going to do it completely guilt free.

Right now, there are too many negative emotions surrounding the act of smoking.  Guilt, shame, anger, worry, fear.  In the world of Chinese medicine, those emotions represent energy blockages.  You need to start clearing those blockages BEFORE you try to quit smoking.

If you’re constantly trying to quit, and constantly failing, then there’s never a chance to clear those blockages.  You’re spinning your tires in the mud.  You’re just reinforcing negative emotions, and making it harder and harder to actually quit.

Quitting smoking is stressful. Of course, smoking is also your way of de-stressing. If you quit too many times, you’re creating more stress than you’re eliminating. You may actually be lowering your stress threshold rather than raising it.

Step 6: Enjoy Smoking

If you’re reading this article, then you’ve probably gotten to the point where you hardly enjoy smoking any more. You smoke because you’re addicted, because of the habit, because you would feel terrible if you didn’t smoke.  Gone are the days when you truly enjoy smoking.

We need to reclaim that. I know it’s counter-intuitive. But if hating smoking made it easier to quit smoking, you would have quit already, right?

So I’m giving you a free pass. For the next 3-12 months, you’re going to smoke guilt free.  In fact, you’re NOT ALLOWED to quit smoking for at least 3 months.  If anyone questions you, tell them that Sifu Anthony said so, and they should take it up with me. (Don’t worry. I know Kung Fu.)

For 3 months, I want you to savor each cigarette. Be present. Smile from the heart. (Click here to learn how.)  Be here and now.  Notice the cigarette, the color of the cherry, the feel of the drag, the shape of the smoke. That’s Zen.

Here’s what’s NOT Zen.  Lighting a cigarette and smoking half of it without hardly noticing.  And then needing to smoke another one immediately after because you missed the first one.

It’s critical that you don’t feel guilty. Guilt just creates a negative loop.  You feel bad, and then you want to smoke more, and then you feel worse, so you smoke more.  You need to break the cycle, and the way to do that is by feeling good.

Step 7: Add Good Habits

In this online course, I talk about why most people fail with their New Year’s Resolutions.  They fail because they try to subtract bad habits rather than adding good one. Don’t make the same mistake.

Don’t take anything away. Add good habits first.

The course above gives you everything you need to change your life using 2 minutes a day of qigong as your gateway habit.

Learn qigong ASAP.  If you’re not going to learn it right this instant, then schedule a time to learn it.  I’m serious. If you finish this article without scheduling a time, then no matter how good your intentions, you won’t do it. So put it on your calendar right now.

You first goal is to do 2-Minutes once a day. That’s harder than it sounds.  You’ll probably be okay for a few days, but then you’ll forget.  Keep trying until you succeed in doing it every day for 30 days.

Step 8: Set a Date

Keep smoking, and enjoying yourself, until you have made a strong habit of doing 2 minutes a day of qigong. 

All of that enthusiasm and energy you periodically have toward quitting — put all of it into your daily qigong. It’s not time to quit yet.

Once you’ve managed to do 30 days of qigong (and not before), then you can think about setting a quit date. There’s never a perfect time. You’re going to be an absolute mess for a few weeks after you quit. But you’ve got to do it sooner or later.

Remember, this next attempt at quitting is going to be your last one ever. No more trying. Do or do not.

Set the date far enough in advance that you can continue to do two things for a few more months — enjoy smoking, and practice qigong for 2 minutes a day.

So let’s say that you’ve successfully done 2 minutes a day for 30 days. You decide to set your quit day 3 months down the road. Until that day, you’re going to continue enjoying your cigarettes (a Zen exercise), and also doing 2 minutes at least once a day (and preferably twice).

Step 9: Get Ready

With your quit date set, you have time to get yourself ready. Gradually start to arrange things for that day. For example, collect all of the ashtrays in your house, and throw out all but one. Tell people that you’re going to quit.  Obviously, you’ll also need to get rid of all your extra cigarettes.

I’m a big fan of the acupuncture protocol called NADA (National Acupuncture Detoxification Association). If you’re in Gainesville, my wife offers it at her clinic.  You should start doing this roughly 1-2 weeks BEFORE your quit day.  (If you’re not in Gainesville, then look for a NADA practitioner near you.)  This will help you to get ready for the big day.

But most importantly, get your heart and mind ready for the big day.  You’re gradually psyching yourself up, reminding yourself of all the reasons you want to quit.

Step 10: Say Goodbye

So the big day is approaching. You’ve told all your friends so that they can support you (and not tempt you, if they’re smokers). You’ve gotten the house ready. You’ve gotten rid of all but a few cigarettes.

This is a personal choice, but I’m a big believer in the power of ritual. I still remember the last cigarette that I smoked. I made a little ritual out of it, and said goodbye, as if saying goodbye at a funeral.

I recommend that you smoke your last cigarette at night. That way, you can wake up the next morning and start fresh.  And that’s exactly what you’re going to get — a fresh start on life.

Step 11: Go Cold Turkey

Forget the patch.  Forget the gum.  Cold turkey is the only way to go.   Again, just ask ex-smokers, and the successful ones all agree — go cold turkey.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it for you. It’s going be rough for a few weeks. You’re going to go through withdrawal from one of the most addictive substances known to man. But that’s a necessary part of the process.

The suffering that you experience during the withdrawal is part of the equation. Don’t wimp out of this step with the patch or something similar.  Going through the hell of withdrawal is necessary.  A few months down the road, when you’re craving a cigarette, you’ll remember how awful it was when you went cold turkey.  Because of that memory, you’ll be less likely to go backward, and more likely to go forward.

Use your tools, especially the 2-Minute Drill. It will be your life vest.  It will also help you to detox faster. During the first 2 weeks, you may need to do it 10 times a day, or even more.

Don’t expect the 2-Minute Drill to make everything okay. You won’t be okay. You’ll probably be miserable. But the 2-Minute Drill will make it tolerable, and give you the strength to get through.

(A small percentage of people don’t experience the hell of withdrawal. This has advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that it’s easier to quit. The disadvantage is that it’s easier to start up again. If you’re one of these people, then you need to stay vigilant, especially 3-6 months after you quit.)

Step 12: Visualize the Future

Maybe I should have started with this part.  Do you start with the good news, or the bad news? In this case, I started with the bad news. So here’s the good news.

Once you make peace with never taking another puff, and once you get through those first few months, once you quit for good — life becomes beautiful.

[Click here to read an article I wrote after going 10 years without a single puff from a cigarette.)

All those little things that you’re worrying about now — how you’ll drink coffee without a cigarette, how you’ll go to a bar, what you’ll do after a meal — all of that stuff will seem trivial once you’ve broken the cycle of addiction.

Take it from me — it’s worth it. You haven’t felt so alive in years. 

I know that, from where you’re standing, it’s hard to imagine life without cigarettes.  But from where I’m standing, it’s hard to imagine life WITH cigarettes.

Like I said, that chapter is over for me. My life is so much fuller and richer now that there’s absolutely no need for me to smoke again. Not ever. Not even one puff.

Let’s use the comments below as a community support group. Those of you who have already quit, please post your stories below.  And those of you who are getting ready to quit — come back to this article and post your thoughts, questions, and concerns whenever you need a little help.  I’m here for you. 

From the heart,
Sifu Anthony

The post Why You Shouldn’t Quit Smoking appeared first on Flowing Zen.