I believe that depression is an epic, personal battle against the darker forces of the human spirit. Recently, after an unexpected Zen-like awakening, I got my metaphoric hands on another weapon to use against depression. I now wield a mighty weapon called self love.
I was only 33. I was young, fit, and strong. But I felt like I was having a heart attack.
Almost as quickly as it had come in, the storm passed, just as I was getting ready to go to the emergency room.
It wasn’t a heart attack. I later learned that it was an anxiety attack (sometimes called a panic attack).
Apparently, the signs are similar, and many people end up in the emergency room due to anxiety attacks.
Four years ago, one of my tai chi students asked me a question that really made me think.
“I’ve got $1500 to spend on my health. Should I go to your retreat in Costa Rica, or sign up for a year of unlimited classes in your studio?”
It’s tempting to assume that a full year of unlimited classes in my tai chi studio would be the more powerful healing option.
“If I could smile from the heart, then I wouldn’t be so !@#$%& depressed!” I didn’t say it out loud, but I thought it really loud.
I had traveled thousands of miles to learn from a world-renowned qigong master, and I was desperate to feel better.
I haven’t had a cigarette in 10 years. Not one puff. Today is a big milestone for me. I like to write, so this post is my way of celebrating. You can celebrate with me by reading along.