Life feels heavier than ever. So much fear. So much fragmentation. And beneath it all, a quiet sense that something old is dying—and something new is struggling to be born.
You might think I’m talking about the world. I am. But I’m also talking about myself. Or my un-self. Or whatever the hell is happening to me spiritually.
Something has been triggered in me, and I owe you an apology.
For months, I’ve been in a liminal space. I’m not who I was, but I’m not yet who I’m becoming. The old skin doesn’t fit. The new one hasn’t formed.
That’s why I haven’t been writing or posting. I’ve felt like a caterpillar in the cocoon—dissolved, unrecognizable. The butterfly hasn’t emerged. And I don’t know when it will.
It’s disorienting. I remember reading that during his awakening, Eckhart Tolle spent two years sitting on park benches—just watching, just being. His friends quietly supported him with food and shelter. He was in a liminal space.
I’m not claiming enlightenment. Hell, I don’t even know what that word means anymore. I even wrote an entire article on the subject (see below).
But I am shifting. And I’ve realized I can’t keep waiting for perfect clarity. So I’m going to write my way into it.
Instead of staying silent, I created a Substack to document my thoughts.
For those who don’t know, Substack is like a blog—but more modern and readable.
Substack also lets me add a voiceover to every article—so if you prefer audio, you can hear it in my voice, just like my audiobook.
I’m especially excited because this format actually works for my brain. It’s calmer, slower, and more focused than things like Instagram or YouTube. No algorithms, no ads, no social media noise. Just real writing, sent directly to your inbox.
I’m committing to posting once a week, but I may post more when the muse visits.
If you want to get everything in real time, you’ll need to subscribe directly on Substack. Otherwise, you’ll get a monthly roundup of a few highlights in the regular Flowing Zen newsletter.
You don’t need an account to subscribe. Just your email. Unsubscribe anytime. It’s free.
I’ll be writing about qigong and tai chi—but also about what they really point to:
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The long, messy, nonlinear path of healing
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How to regulate your nervous system in a dysregulated world
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What trauma healing looks like in real life—not just in theory
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The quiet, daily work of staying regulated, present, and connected
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Building resilience that holds up—especially when things fall apart
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Practices that help you stay human when the world feels inhuman
If you’re looking for polished essays or spiritual platitudes, this probably isn’t for you.
If you’re looking for something raw, uncertain, and real—something that lives in the mud with the lotus—then I’d love to have you reading (or listening) along.
There are already a few pieces waiting for you:
Subscribing on Substack means you’ll get new posts—and their audio versions—delivered straight to your inbox. If you prefer fewer emails, I’ll still include highlights in the regular Flowing Zen newsletter once a month.