[Edit: After publishing this post in late 2014, I started receiving death threats. I turned it off for a long time to let things settle down.]
Dear students,
This morning, I did one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life: I officially resigned as the chief instructor of the U.S. branch of Sifu Wong’s international organization, the Shaolin Wahnam Institute.
For those who don’t know, I’ve been Sifu Wong’s loyal and dedicated disciple since 1997. I have organized seminars for him, hosted him at my house, traveled internationally with him, helped to edit his books, taught in his name, and been a vocal support of his teachings for years.
In spite of my resignation, I have an endless well of gratitude in my heart for everything that he taught me.
I’m also heartbroken.
For two years, I’ve been working behind the scenes on a serious issue. A scandal has been brewing within the Shaolin Wahnam international organization. This scandal gets to the heart of my core values.
After two years of investigating, arguing, suffering, meditating, and digesting, I finally decided that, in order to be true to my own core values, I had no choice but to resign.
At present, I am the 8th of Sifu Wong’s certified instructors to resign over this issue. Of those, 3 of them were the chief instructors of their respective countries.
In the name of transparency, I would like to publicly discuss the details of the issue that led to my resignation, and explain how I came to this important, life-changing decision.
The Issue in a Nutshell
Why did I resign?
In a nutshell, I resigned because of Sifu Wong’s unethical and unacceptable response to a sexual abuse scandal within his school, perpetrated by one of his certified instructors.
I have seen with my own eyes how the victims were blamed, how the perpetrator was protected, how evidence was ignored and buried, and how critics (like me and the other instructors who resigned) were silenced.
Furthermore, I believe that Sifu Wong’s actions have cleared the path for the continuation of sexual abuse down the road.
It has become painfully and heartbreakingly clear to me that Sifu Wong and I differ – significantly – in some of our core values.
Thus, I cannot stand with Sifu Wong, and have resigned as his chief instructor in the United States.
My Open Apology
This post will be long because I want to give you all of the details that I have. This way, you can form your own opinions on the matter.
Before I go into the details, I would like to make an apology.
I see now that I should have gone public sooner. I should have created transparency a long time ago.
Having helped friends, family, and students through issues of sexual abuse, I should have known better. I should have trusted my gut.
I’m truly sorry. I’m sorry for not acting sooner. I’m sorry for keeping quiet. I’m sorry for taking so long to summon up the courage to act.
- I want to apologize to all of the victims of sexual abuse out there, not just the ones in this case – but to the many silent voices that are out there.
- I want you to know that not all people in authority positions embrace the standard narrative of sexual abuse.
- I want you to know that there are people who are on your side, people who take this kind of transgression very seriously.
- I want you to know that there are a lot of us – more than you might think – and that our numbers are constantly growing.
- I want you to know that we are willing to stand strong with you, to summon up the courage necessary to face the criticism and misunderstanding.
- I want you to know that, even in silence, you have a voice that is heard.
To the victims of this terrible scandal, I want you to know that I’m here to help, should you ever decide that you need me. I have already helped several of the victims to start the healing process, and I would be honored to help you as well. Please know that I will keep all communication in the strictest confidence. You can even contact me anonymously if you prefer.
Regaining Your Trust
There is a lot of trust involved in the teacher-student relationship. If my students trust me (and I hope that they do), then it’s because I’ve earned it.
That trust gets projected, by proxy, onto Sifu Wong. If you trust me, then by extension it’s natural to trust him, especially if you’ve met him.
Similarly, that trust then gets projected, again by proxy, onto Sifu Wong’s disciples and certified instructors.
I want to apologize for the trust that has been broken through my association with Sifu Wong.
I sincerely hope that I can earn it back some day. I will work hard to do so – starting with this post.
In honor of rebuilding trust, I’ve written this post to shed light on the issue that led to my resignation – including my own mistakes in the matter.
The 1st Resignation
Note: All of the names have been changed in order to protect the identities of the victims. I have also chosen to leave out the specific dates lest they might endanger the victims in some way.
The scandal began roughly 2 years ago when a junior Shaolin Wahnam instructor, we’ll call him Fred, made serious allegations against his own sifu, a senior instructor who we’ll call Gary.
Evidence that several Shaolin Wahnam students had been sexually abused by Gary was presented to Sifu Wong. Fred presented all of his evidence to Sifu Wong — except for one thing. Fred refused to provide the names of the victims.
Sifu Wong repeatedly asked for the names of the victims. He said that he could not act without more substantial evidence.
Note: Please allow me to interject something into the narrative. In cases of alleged sexual abuse, evidence is notoriously difficult to acquire. Even when it is gathered, it is often rejected. In many cases, no amount of evidence, not even video footage, is deemed to be “enough”. This is the inherent conundrum with sexual abuse in our culture, and a common theme. Victims rarely speak up, because when they do, they aren’t heard, or worse, they are blamed.
Fred called Sifu Wong on the phone to plead with him about the importance of taking action. Much later, Fred told me something shocking about that phone conversation. Apparently, Sifu Wong told Fred that that this kind of behavior (referring to Gary’s behavior) was acceptable in the West.
Fred, a Westerner, argued with Sifu Wong, saying that it was absolutely not acceptable. After weeks of going back and forth, Fred finally resigned when he realized that no action would be taken by Sifu Wong.
Fred felt that he had presented considerable evidence, even without the names of the victims. He simply could not, in good conscience, accept Sifu Wong’s lack of response.
At the very least, Fred expected an investigation to be launched. When he saw that there would be nothing of the sort, he resigned.
The “Just For Fun” Post, Part 1
A few months after Fred’s resignation, Sifu Wong posed a strange hypothetical question to his certified instructors (not to the public).
Sifu Wong wrote:
Suppose you heard that your sifu, or your student, had sex with some women (or men), including some married ones, what would you do? Chose your answer from one of the following.
- Denounce your sifu, or student, and declare that you are not going to have anything to do with him (or her).
- Tell more people about this allegations so that other people can take precaution against your sifu, or student.
- Ignore the allegations, thinking that your sifu, or student, would never do this.
- Protect your sifu, or student, irrespective of whether the allegations were true or not, though you would not condone his (or her) actions if they were true.
- Punch the one who told you the allegations on his (or her) face.
Later I shall describe what I would like our Shaolin Wahnam members should do, in line with values cherished in kungfu tradition.
I was relatively uninvolved up until this point. I had seen Fred’s resignation, but wasn’t yet sure what to make of it.
Then I saw this “Just For Fun” post from Sifu Wong, and I was thoroughly confused. What happened next was like a trip down the proverbial rabbit hole.
Down the Rabbit Hole
Quite unexpectedly, one of the victims, we’ll call her Trish, approached me. She told me that the idea to come talk to me had happened during a deep state of meditative prayer. She asked me for a private meeting, which I of course granted.
During that meeting, she confided in me, breaking down in tears as she told me the details about how she was verbally, emotionally, and sexually abused by her sifu.
Her sifu, of course, was Gary, the same person Fred had made allegations against.
After this meeting, I went directly to Sifu Wong. I knew that he wanted more evidence, and now I had it.
Sifu Wong asked me if this woman would be willing to speak with him directly. He told me, like he had told Fred, that he wanted more evidence before acting.
At the time, I trusted Sifu Wong to protect Trish. So I went back to her and asked if she would been willing to speak with him.
The “Just For Fun” Post, Part 2
Trish was terrified at this suggestion. If you’ve ever met Sifu Wong, you know that he has a big personality, and that he can be very intimidating. On top of this, the “Just For Fun” post had just recently been made public. Trish had seen it.
“I’m supposed to protect my sifu, even if he abused me, right?” she asked me in tears.
It was all I could do to not break down in tears myself.
“If he abused you, then he doesn’t deserve the title of Sifu,” I replied. “You don’t need to protect him, not now, and not ever.”
Trish summoned up her courage and agreed to meet with Sifu Wong face to face. I was, and still am, proud of her courage.
Protecting the Granddaughters?
I arranged the meeting. Before doing so, I specifically asked Sifu Wong to create a safe space for her to speak.
“We must protect the granddaughters,” I said to him just before leaving. I was referring to the female students of his students. I was attempting to communicate to him using the concept of the family that pervades traditional Kung Fu culture.
“Yes, we must protect the granddaughters,” Sifu Wong replied.
I returned to Trish, confident that I could provide a safe and empathetic space for her to talk about her abuse.
When the time was right, we made the trip to see Sifu Wong, together.
A Victim Speaks to Sifu Wong
I was present for the entire conversation between Trish, one of the victims, and Sifu Wong. I heard, with my own ears, everything that was said:
- I heard her tell Sifu Wong that she was sexually abused by her sifu, Gary.
- I heard her tell him how Gary had touched her, under the guise of clearing Qi blockages, and how he then took advantage of her when she was vulnerable and alone.
- I heard her say that she didn’t want it to happen.
- I heard her tell Sifu Wong that there was never any kissing or intimacy – none whatsoever (a sign of abuse).
- I heard her explain how confused she had been afterward, as if in a daze (a common experience with abuse victims).
- I heard her say that it was like she was watching the experience from outside of her body. (This is a common experience among trauma survivors and a telltale sign of abuse.)
- I heard her talk about how Gary had done the same thing with several other women.
- I heard hear talk about how she had been traumatized by the event, how she still had nightmares, how she felt ashamed and confused.
- I heard her talk about how other victims felt the same way – too ashamed to talk about it publicly.
- I heard her tell Sifu Wong that she never wanted to see Gary again.
Until this point, Sifu Wong seemed to be listening intently. I was feeling optimistic.
Suddenly, after Trish mentioned that she never wanted to see Gary again, Sifu Wong cut in to suggest that she could simply stand on the other side of the room if she and Gary happened to be attending the same course.
Sifu Wong smiled, as if this were an excellent solution to the problem. I literally choked on the tea that I was drinking. Sifu Wong’s comment was so detached, so disconnected from the conversation that I was in shock.
Before I could interject, Trish started crying.
Sensing that his solution was not good enough, Sifu Wong then suggested that Trish could attend completely different courses from Gary.
I remember Trish looking at me, tears in her eyes, in utter disbelief.
In short, the conversation was a complete disaster.
A Not-So-Safe Space
Immediately after the meeting, I apologized profusely to Trish. She was still in tears. I felt terrible because I had promised her a safe space, but I had failed.
Later that day, I went back to meet privately with Sifu Wong. I wanted to talk to him about what had happened.
Sifu Wong thanked me for arranging the meeting with Trish, and told me that he thought it went well.
I was absolutely stunned.
I quickly learned that his experience of the conversation was completely different than my own.
Overcome with frustration, I told him in no uncertain terms that the meeting had been a disaster, that Trish was in tears, and that he had not fulfilled his promise to create a safe space.
He dismissed my concerns, saying again that the meeting had been a success. He then told me that Trish was simply crying tears of relief, and that she was now on the path to healing.
The 2nd and 3rd Resignations
Not long after this, two more Shaolin Wahnam instructors resigned. Let’s call them Pete and Dan.
Pete, a senior Shaolin Wahnam instructor, had been gathering his own evidence. This evidence corroborated what Fred had already presented.
This evidence was absolutely mind-blowing, alleging that Gary had abused as many as a dozen women.
I was present when Pete presented some of his evidence to Sifu Wong. To be clear, this happened AFTER the meeting with Trish.
I watched in dismay as Sifu Wong argued with Pete, saying that Gary had contributed so much to Shaolin Wahnam over the years.
[Edit: Someone asked me to mention that Gary organized a lot of big seminars for Sifu Wong, with a lot of attendees. Financially, these seminars were hugely successful for both Gary and Sifu Wong. I know this to be true because Sifu Wong often said so (privately, to his certified instructors), holding Gary up as an example for the other instructors to aspire to.]
“There have never been any other complaints about Gary all these years!” Sifu Wong said to both of us.
Pete and I were speechless for a good minute. This statement boggled the mind.
The truth is that there had been complaints about Gary for nearly 10 years. Until Fred presented his original evidence, these complaints were not about sexual abuse, but rather pointed to serious issues in Gary’s character.
In short, the complaints pointed to Gary being a man of low moral fiber who was unfit to be a Shaolin Wahnam instructor.
Sifu Wong had been ignoring these complaints for years, not just from Pete, but from others as well. That’s why Pete and I were so shocked at Sifu Wong’s comment.
Seeing that Sifu Wong was not going to take appropriate action, even after Trish’s testimony, Pete and Dan quietly resigned.
Sifu Wong’s Public Statement
[Edit: This section was added after this post was originally published because it was brought to my attention. I didn’t know this information when I made my original post.]
A few weeks after hearing testimony from Trish, Sifu Wong made a public statement on sexual abuse. In it, he said the following (emphasis is mine):
It is unfortunate that some masters of kungfu and other martial arts abuse their power and influence to have sex with their students. It has become so common that some people, especially in Western societies, even think this is normal.
We in Shaolin Wahnam are fortunate that this is not an issue in our school.
Not an issue? Why would he post this statement shortly after receiving testimony directly from Trish?
I don’t know.
A Crime Worse Than Sexual Abuse
As I mentioned, Pete was a senior disciple, like myself. At the time, he had been with Sifu Wong for roughly 14 years. (In contrast, Dan was a more junior disciple.)
Sifu Wong chose to view Pete’s resignation as a deep and bitter betrayal.
Here is an excerpt of what Sifu Wong said privately to his certified instructors:
“The main issue here is betrayal. In kungfu culture, betrayal is the worst crime, worse than killing, and far worse than sexual abuse. Different people may have different concepts of betrayal.”
In other words, Sifu Wong made it perfectly clear that Pete’s resignation was, to him, worse than sexual abuse.
Remember: the comment above, written by Sifu Wong, came AFTER he had already heard face-to-face testimony from Trish, months after he had originally received evidence from Fred, and nearly ten years into various complaints about Gary’s character.
I should have resigned on the spot.
This idea — that a disciple “betraying” his teacher by taking a stand against sexual abuse is somehow worse than sexual abuse — was and still is anathema to me.
I remember thinking that it didn’t even make any sense. After all, what is sexual abuse if not the ultimate betrayal?!?
It was wrong, and I knew it, but I didn’t resign. And I’m sorry.
Gary’s Exit
Let me back up a bit. Gary actually resigned from the organization shortly before the 2nd and 3rd resignations (i.e. Pete, the senior disciple, and Dan, the more junior disciple).
I should have been happy with Gary’s resignation, right? And Pete should have been happy too, right? Not exactly.
First of all, Gary wasn’t fired; he resigned. It was at Sifu Wong’s request that he resigned.
After Gary resigned, Sifu Wong made several private posts to his certified instructors. In a post entitled “Thanks and Best Wishes to Gary,” he wrote:
“Gary has contributed greatly to build our school…I am glad his students remain with us. I hope that in future situations will change, and we can welcome Gary back to our school.”
Here’s an excerpt from an email exchange between me and Sifu Wong that sums up why Gary’s resignation was not enough:
Dear Sifu
Gary resigning is a start, but it is not nearly enough, especially since you sent him away with a “Thank You” and a pat on the back. At first, I trusted that this was some sort of a strategy on your part. But after your last message, I can see that it is not.
Once again, you have tacitly condoned Gary’s abusive behavior. Even now that you have conclusive evidence, even now that you know that he did indeed abuse and rape his students, you send Gary away with a “Thanks and Best Wishes”.
This sends the wrong message to the instructors, as well as the public should they ever hear of your stance (which I think they will).
I don’t know what more I can do to help you to see clearly. I have tried everything I know. I literally begged you — with tears in my eyes — to listen. But you did not listen. It appears that you no longer listen to anyone — not even me.
Sifu, you are not acting the way you have taught us to act. This is not righteous action. Sifu, you are making a mockery of the 10 Shaolin Laws, and it is breaking my heart.
It’s not too late. Please listen. I’m begging you.
Your devoted student,
Anthony”
Sifu’s Wong’s response to me included the following:
“What do you or anybody want me to do with Gary? Do you want me to make a public announcement to denounce him? I never forsake a disciple even when others forsake him in droves. It is worse when these others are his brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, or children who have earlier benefited much from him.”
No public announcement was made. All of this happened quietly behind the scenes.
After Gary’s Exit
After Gary resigned, he asked Sifu Wong if he could continue with courses that he had already planned to teach.
Sifu Wong told him that, “for goodwill, it was fine” (Sifu Wong’s words).
I later learned that most of Gary’s students didn’t even know that he had resigned, or that he was somehow disassociated with the school. They assumed that Gary was a still certified instructor sanctioned by Sifu Wong.
Many of them still do, to this day.
The “Just For Fun” Post, Part 3
Not long after Gary’s resignation, Sifu Wong posted the following to his instructors (but not to the public):
What do we mean when we say that a person has principles? As in many other things, it is straight-forward, though some people may not realize its meaning.
It means the person follows a set of ethical fundamentals irrespective of who are involved and what the situations may be.
Let us take the choice of actions listed in the post, “Just for Fun”, as an example.
Reproduced below is a list of possible actions.
A. Denounce your sifu, or student, and declare that you are not going to have anything to do with him (or her).
B. Tell more people about these allegations so that other people can take precaution against your sifu, or student.
C. Ignore the allegations, thinking that your sifu, or student, would never do this.
D. Protect your sifu, or student, irrespective of whether the allegations were true or not, though you would not condone his (or her) actions if they were true.
E. Punch the one who told you the allegations on his (or her) face.
It is important to note that the above are possible actions in response to allegations that have not been proven. This does not mean that the allegations may not be true.
It does not matter whom the accused person or what the allegation is. In other words it does not matter whether it is Gary, Tom, Dick, Harry or anyone who is accused as long as he (or she) is your sifu or student, and it does not matter whether the accusation is having sex, cheating money, stealing fruit or any thing considered improper. If you are a person of principles you will choose the action that is ethical and noble.
Even giving some allowance for individual preference, we can safely conclude as follows:
Action A is unethical and ignoble. It goes against divine laws. It is often based on self-interest.
Action B is also unethical and ignoble, though it may be based on others’ interest.
Action C is honorable but may not be wise.
Action D is ethical and noble. It is the best of the five choices in line with our Shaolin Wahnam philosophy.
Action E is rash though honorable.
Punch Yourself in the Face
To summarize Sifu Wong’s post above:
- Denouncing one’s sifu = unethical and ignoble.
- Telling more people about the allegations so that other people could take precautions = unethical and ignoble.
- Ignoring the allegations, thinking one’s Sifu would never do this = honorable but might not be wise.
- Protecting one’s Sifu, irrespective of whether the allegations were true or not = ethical and noble. (This would be the best choice, according to Sifu Wong.)
- Punching the one who made the allegations in the face = rash but honorable.
Let’s not forget that, by the time Sifu Wong posted this, he had already heard directly from Trish (one of the victims). And let’s not forget that her complaint was about her own Sifu.
Looking at Sifu Wong’s post above, one has to wonder:
Should Trish punch herself in the face? Would that be rash, but honorable, since she made accusations against her own Sifu?
When I saw the above post by Sifu Wong, I was once again stunned. I remember trying to explain the situation to my wife, but being unable to find the words.
Once again, I should have resigned after seeing Sifu Wong’s post. I should have seen then that there was no way to reconcile the huge differences in our core values.
My Own Investigation
By this point, it had become clear to me that Sifu Wong would not launch his own internal investigation. Even if he did, how would he ever get victims to confide in him after the public stance he had already taken with the “Just For Fun” posts?
If anything, Sifu Wong seemed more concerned with the so-called “betrayal” by Pete (the senior disciple) than the sexual abuse scandal.
So I launched my own investigation. Since I have a lot of contacts in the larger Shaolin Wahnam organization, I started talking with people. I even traveled internationally in order to speak with some of them. During my travels, I also made a point to help some of the victims, as well as some possible victims (who have not spoken up) to heal.
Once I started investigating, I was shocked at how easily information came to me.
Here’s what I found.
What I Found
Over the course of several months, I did a ton of investigation on my own time (and my own dime, I might add). I found an overwhelming amount of evidence corroborating what Fred, Trish, and Pete had presented to Sifu Wong.
But worse.
Around this time, Sifu Wong openly stated that he wanted to bring Gary back into the organization.
Sifu Wong wrote:
“To me the allegations against Gary, which may or may not be true, are unproven and invalid. The allegations are that Gary raped women, or at lease used his psychic power to have sex with them against their will, and that Gary manipulated people.
Only one woman came to me to say that Gary had sex with her. (This does not mean that there aren’t other women who also had sex with Gary, but that is their and Gary’s business, not mine and also not yours.) This woman admitted that it was not forced on her, though she later regretted it. (I was wise enough not to ask whether she enjoyed the sex at the moment despite her later regret.)”
As I’ll explain later, this post by Sifu Wong was a distortion of the facts that were presented. Furthermore, it shows that Sifu Wong was unconcerned about all of the other potential victims in the organization.
At the time, however, I was focused on blocking Gary’s return, so I pleaded with Sifu Wong, telling him about my investigations. I presented him with all the evidence that I had gathered, including the following:
- Gary allegedly sexually assaulted 3-12 of his female students.
- Gary allegedly verbally abused students during classes.
- Gary allegedly flirted inappropriately with female students during classes.
- Gary allegedly touched women inappropriately (breasts, buttocks, groin) during classes.
- Gary allegedly led female students into having orgasms during classes.
- Gary allegedly encouraged students (married or not) to cheat and experiment sexually with other partners.
- Gary allegedly showed up for classes drunk.
- Gary allegedly repeatedly lied to students and business partners.
- Gary allegedly encouraged students to take hallucinogenic drugs as part of their training.
Offering me a rare glimpse of hope, Sifu Wong responded by thanking me for doing such a thorough investigation. He even went so far as to refer to me as a “gallant soul” to the other instructors.
I was thrilled with his response. It was the most positive reaction any of us had received until that point.
Shortly after I presented this evidence, Sifu Wong officially “shelved” his plans to bring Gary back to the organization.
He posted this to his instructors:
This is the first time I have received evidence of Gary’s doings. Earlier I just had accusations but those who accused him were not ready to substantiate with evidence.
These doings are certainly not in line with our Shaolin Wahnam teaching. Hence, I have sent him an e-mail asking him not to attend the coming XXXX course in XXXX in XXXX. My original plan of having him return to Shaolin Wahnam is also shelved.”
I was happy. And yet, I couldn’t help but find Sifu Wong’s reaction confusing.
My evidence, although shocking, was very similar to what had already been presented to him by Fred, Pete, and Trish. It certainly wasn’t “the first time” Sifu Wong had received evidence of Gary’s wrongdoings.
To this day, I still don’t know why Sifu Wong suddenly shelved his plans to bring Gary back.
That was roughly one year ago.
Gary Returns
A few months ago, Gary suddenly appeared in an international Shaolin Wahnam course led by Sifu Wong.
No warning was given to any of the instructors, the students, nor to me.
I immediately wrote to Sifu Wong, saying that I thought I deserved an explanation. To be fair, I was a bit curt with Sifu Wong. Here’s what I wrote:
Dear Sifu,
I and several of my students saw a public picture on Facebook from your courses in XXXX. Gary was in the picture, sitting as if he were an instructor.
I think that I deserve an explanation.
Best regards,
Anthony
This was Sifu Wong’s response:
Dear Anthony,
“I think that I deserve an explanation” sounds like a teacher reprimanding his student, not a student humbly asking his teacher for some information.
I don’t have to give you an explanation.
Best regards,
Sifu.
I’m actually grateful that Sifu Wong responded the way he did. It’s what finally woke me up, as if a spell had suddenly been broken.
Although I was a bit disrespectful to him, it was clear to me that his response was not even remotely satisfactory considering the circumstances.
The 4th and 5th Resignations
Around the same time, several other Shaolin Wahnam instructors wrote to Sifu Wong, also asking for explanations about Gary’s picture on Facebook.
Sifu Wong’s responses to these instructors were downright illogical. For example:
“What you heard about Gary may or may not be true. It is worthwhile to note that many of his students are important and publicly well-known people who also know about the accusations, like company presidents and a Nobel Prize winner, and they would not associate with him if they believe the accusations are true.”
For those of you familiar with logical fallacies, the above is a prime example. This is called an appeal to authority, and it is an attempt to prove Gary’s innocence based on his association with authority figures.
When the instructor pointed this out to Sifu Wong, showing the flaw in his logic, Sifu Wong responded by calling the instructor rude.
Around this time, Sifu Wong posted the following:
“I am really fed up with people asking me about Gary as if I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t have to give any explanation to my students or their students on what I do. It is sufficient that I feel what I do is right and honorable.”
As a result of these interactions, two more Shaolin Wahnam instructors quietly resigned, including one chief instructor.
I should mention that, at this point, I finally made my own decision to resign. Better late than never.
I chose to wait until today to send my resignation out of respect for Sifu Wong’s courses in Malaysia. I had students in attendance, and I didn’t want to make it awkward for them.They had already booked their flights and hotels, and I didn’t want to ruin their trip.
Out of respect to them, and to Sifu Wong for all that he has done for me, I decided to wait.
The course ended last night, and I resigned this morning
Wisdom and Compassion?
After the 4th and 5th resignations, Sifu Wong posted the following:
“I wish to thank the many instructors who wrote to me to declare their support of my action in Gary’s case, highlighting that no one in our school should question my right in doing what I feel is correct and honorable, as well as highlighting the values of wisdom and compassion that we cherish.
He then went on to talk about how we should forgive Gary.
Let me remind you that this happened AFTER Sifu Wong had made his appeal to authority, saying that “important” people wouldn’t associate with Gary if they thought he was guilty.
Which is it? Is Gary innocent or guilty? If he’s innocent, then why do we need to forgive him?
Later, Sifu Wong posted the following, contradicting his earlier implication that Gary might be innocent:
[“Why do you still hold such a deep grudge against Gary? Ask yourself, and you may discover an answer to your deep-rooted problem. Even if you leave aside compassion and altruism, and consider only self-interest, Gary is not a threat to you. He won’t take away your students, or your business. Why are you angry at his ability to influence people, or at his ability to have sex with women?”
To imply that those instructors resigned because they were angry at Gary’s “ability to have sex with women” is ludicrous and insulting.
It’s also another logical fallacy, called a strawman argument.
The Ten Shaolin Laws
I’d like to mention that I originally chose Sifu Wong as my primary teacher precisely because I respected with his strong moral code.
Before my first trip to Malaysia, I wrote to him asking if I should practice the Horse Stance daily.
He replied, saying that it would be fine to practice the Horse Stance, but that it would be better to practice the Ten Shaolin Laws. For me at the time, that was exactly the kind of answer I was looking for.
The Ten Shaolin Laws, for those who don’t know, are a simple moral code from the Shaolin tradition. You can read more about them here:
http://flowingzen.com/961/the-10-shaolin-laws/
Today, 17 years later, it’s painfully clear to me that my interpretation of the 10 Shaolin Laws is quite different than Sifu Wong’s.
For Sifu Wong, it seems to me that there is only one Shaolin Law that really matters, i.e. “respect the master”.
Sex with Students?
Recently, Sifu Wong openly admitted that he believes that Gary probably had sex with several of his female students:
“I believe that when Gary had sex with other women, and I have no doubt that he did, he believed he was doing ‘good.’
I should mention that this statement, in itself, proves that Gary is a liar. Back when Fred made the first allegations, Sifu Wong confronted Gary about the allegations.
Gary vehemently denied the allegations, right to Sifu Wong’s face.
Sifu Wong continued:
“It is important to note that forgiving Gary does not mean that we condone what he did, even if it were true. It is equally important to note that different people have different perspective of what is “good” and “evil”. To some people…having sex with married women is “evil”. In the same way, though to a lesser degree, ditching one’s girlfriend to marry another girl is “evil”. But to other people, having sex with a married woman when both agree, is “good”, or at least not “evil” even if it is not “good”.”
Note the words “when both agree” in the above statement, which was made just a few weeks ago.
In other words, Sifu Wong is once again arguing that the sex was consensual, despite all evidence to the contrary.
As for whether or not Sifu Wong condones what Gary may or may not have done — then why not clearly state that it is wrong? And why not do so publicly?
Rape Culture and Victim Blaming
Rape culture is a modern concept that examines the habit of normalizing rape due to societal attitudes.
The standard narrative in cases of sexual abuse is to blame the victim. And that’s exactly what Sifu Wong did, although I don’t even think that he realizes it.
For example, at one point Sifu Wong told Fred (the first resignee) that it was common for women to try to take down great men by defaming them.
That’s an example of victim blaming.
When Sifu Wong wrote the words “when both agree” in the above post, that’s an example of normalizing rape (i.e. ignoring the direct evidence to the contrary that Trish presented to him).
Later, when referring to Trish, Sifu Wong said the he was “was wise enough not to ask whether she enjoyed the sex at the moment despite her later regret.”
That’s another example of normalizing rape.
Here’s an excerpt from an email that I wrote to Sifu Wong in direct response to the comment above about him being “wise” enough not to ask whether she enjoyed being abused.
“Sifu, you did not need to ask! And that’s because she specifically told you that she did NOT enjoy it, and that she did not want it to happen! Your distortion of the evidence that was presented to you is shocking. As I said many months ago in an email, you are sweeping this important issue under the carpet. A public statement should have been made months ago, and yet there has been nothing. Most students don’t even know whether Gary is in or out of Shaolin Wahnam. Many of the Shaolin Wahnam healers and instructors don’t even know! In fact, Gary’s picture is still right on your home page, as both an instructor and a healer, adding to the confusion!”
Begging, Pleading, Crying
I want all of you to know this process has been absolutely heart-wrenching for me. That’s not an excuse for my mistakes. It’s more of a confession.
Those who are close to me know that I have been weaker and sadder these past two years. As a direct result of this awful situation, my energy has suffered, my finances have suffered, my marriage has been strained, and at times, my health even suffered. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, as I type this, I’m fighting off a cold.
It’s a testimony to the art of Qigong (which is absolutely amazing, no matter what Sifu Wong may have done) that I have been able to endure the incredible amounts of stress of that this situation has caused.
Although I should have resigned sooner, I felt that it was important to do my best to get through to Sifu Wong. I’ve known the man for 17 years, and the arts that he taught me have improved my life in countless ways.
So I begged. I pleaded. I tried to reason. I wrote emails. I wrote posts on Sifu Wong’s instructor’s forum. I spoke to Sifu Wong in person.
My efforts failed, obviously. Although part of me regrets not resigning sooner, part of me has zero regrets about trying to get through to Sifu Wong. In that regard, I know that I did my absolute best.
My Advice to You
As of a few weeks ago, there have been rumblings about Gary being accepted back into the organization.
Personally, I doubt it will be long before he is officially recognized as a certified instructor.
If you are a student of a Shaolin Wahnam instructor, then I recommend that you show him/her this post. Please don’t assume that your instructor already knows all these facts. Many of them know very little.
If you are a student of Sifu Wong, or somehow involved in the larger Shaolin Wahnam organization (not just Flowing Zen), then my advice to you is simple:
Question EVERYTHING.
Question whatever you are told (or not told) about this issue.
Don’t take anything on faith. Not a damn thing. It’s too dangerous.
Most importantly, question Sifu Wong. Write to him and tell him what you think. Or post on his public forum.
See for yourself what responses you get. And then question those responses deeply.
Some of the responses will be predictable. Here are some tips for dealing with those responses:
- If people attempt to say that the evidence is inconclusive, then ask: “How much evidence do you think is sufficient in cases of sexual abuse?”
- If people attempt to question the character of the disciples who have resigned, then ask: “Why were these disciples so highly regarded up until the moment they resigned?”
- If people attempt to shift blame on to the victims, then ask: “Are you aware of the concept of victim-blaming.”
- If people start talking about forgiveness, then ask: “Should we forgive an innocent man? After all, Sifu Wong hasn’t clarified whether or not Gary is guilty of some wrongdoing.”
- If people attempt to attack me for posting all of this information publicly, then ask: “If Sifu Wong truly believes that he has done what is right and honorable, then why would he fear public scrutiny?”
- If people start branding me as a traitor, then ask: “Do you honestly think that Anthony should have kept quiet?”
By questioning everything, you will be better positioned to protect yourself, and those you love.
The Bitter Pill
Some of you are probably thinking, “It can’t possibly be as bad as Anthony says.”
Honestly, it would be totally hypocritical for me to blame you for thinking that.
It took me a long time to overcome that kind of thinking.
I know that this information is a bitter pill to swallow.
For some of you, it will probably take you time to process what I’ve posted here.
A few years ago, I would have probably punched you in the face for saying something bad about my beloved sifu. I absolutely thought that Sifu Wong’s moral code was unshakeable, and that he was incapable of behavior like this.
But now, it’s me speaking up — one of his most loyal and senior disciples.
And I’m not alone. As I’ve said, I’m the 6th instructor to have resigned over this issue.
I’m sure that more will resign soon. If not — then perhaps you might ask them about their stance on the issue (and of course question their responses).
You may see comments from some of the former instructors below. I encourage you to scroll down and read them.
And I encourage you to post your own comments as well.
You have a voice here.
Sincerely,
Anthony Korahais
Sifu, I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. You’re a great teacher, and although this makes me very sad, I know you made the right decision.
I’m more proud of you than words can express. Thank you for your courage, and for fighting relentlessly for the victims these past two years. I’ve had a front row seat to your struggles, and how heartbreaking this has been for you on so many levels. To do this in spite of what could happen, not knowing ow this will affect your livelihood, knowing your reputation will be attacked, knowing there will be attacks on your character – to still do right in the face of what could go wrong, that is true courage.
I stand with you.
Akemi,
We never had a chance to meet, and it appears that we will not, in this lifetime, so I will say hi and bye.
Despite my perspective that your husband has committed a terrible betrayal against our sifu, we cannot hold a grudge against him, or you, or your students and patients.
Best of luck with your new life.
As a student, shen sheng of pi lum kung fu for many years. I find both heartbreak and healing in this story. I could never imagine this pain. I trust you will find peace and enlightenment in your decision.
The abuser will accuse you of betrayal.
The abuser will tell you that you have no right to question him.
The abuser will not hear what you are saying.
The abuser will make you feel guilty, sad, and heartbroken.
The abuse goes beyond what Gary did – it touches everyone.
This drama of power and abuse has played out over the millennia. (Remember the Greek tragedies, your own heritage) The student is becoming the Master, big time.
I have seen and experienced it myself. Learn well, Anthony. You’re not sadder and weaker, your ego is, don’t identify with that..
Who you really are is wiser and stronger. Feel that..!
Thank you for doing this work, Sifu; I feel much better being a student when I know that I have a teacher who not only understands these issues but is willing to make hard personal sacrifices in taking action regarding them. I’m sorry that it came to this.
Sifu, what you are doing, have done, is good. I hope this transparency is received as well as can be. Even though I know you don’t need thanks, thank you for speaking up.
Ultimately, what I have learned from you as my Sifu, and by association the teachings of Grandmaster Wong, is a powerful and overwhelming obligation to my own being and health, and the eventual mastery of my own energy. That perspective has made me feel incredibly empowered over my own life in a way I never thought possible. I have you, your wife, and Chinese Medicine to thank for this.
That same empowerment translates into the very strong belief that I am my own master. I feel it daily in practice and in your classes. In other words, I have learned from you to put myself and my health first. I have learned the same from Grandmaster Wong. I have learned it so well, I think, that I would understand the necessity of this decision, despite it being such a difficult one.
I am proud of your decision, and because of it I hope we as your students continue to follow suit and not sacrifice our moral standards and our health under any circumstances.
Thank you, Sifu. I am sure I cannot express how I feel – but I wish for your energy and healing and love to be returned to you a million times over in this time of need. Akemi, too. WIth tears, your student Robin.
Dear Sifu, you are an incredibly brave man. I cannot begin to imagine how painful and heartbreaking these past few years have been for you. With all my heart I thank you for being who you are: someone not willing to be silent when they see injustice, being brave enough to stand up for what you think is right while knowing the negative impact it may have on yourself, and someone who tries to help others follow a path out of a dark place – for both the victims and Sifu Wong. I am deeply honored to have someone like you in my life. Thank you.
Thank you for braving this terribly lonely journey you’ve made to stand up for all the quiet ones and place yourselves in their shoes at a huge risk of loss for yourself. Your stance is heroic to me and I’m grateful that you are my teacher.
Actually, there is a risk, but great reward is also possible as Anthony positions himself as the moral superior of one of the top kungfu masters in the world. By denouncing his Sifu publicly, Anthony is saying in effect “I know better, am more upright and wise (than this celebrated kungfu great-grandmaster)”
Because Anthony’s perspective is rooted in popular, current notions, rather than foreign and esoteric kungfu values, he is likely to receive understanding and support.
I remain true to my sifu whom I understand, trust, and respect highly.
Sifu Anthony is receiving understanding and support from me because my open heart and questioning mind both realize that a group of victimized people deserve validation and support. Telling them to stand on the other side of the room from their attacker and get over it violates a basic moral code that transcends time and cultures.
My objection to your sifu’s stand on this has nothing to do with with it being foreign and esoteric. The deepest fiber of my being objects to expecting others to turn a blind eye to harm done in order to enable one to protect ones own. I was so sorry to learn that was what your organization expected.
These beliefs have nothing to do with what is trendy these days. They have nothing to do with liking my sifu, or disrespecting yours.
This is all about, and only about, being humane, compassionate and spreading love.
Dear sifu Anthony, I just read this page start to finish and i wanted to offer my sympathies to the very difficult position you found yourself in. (If somewhat belatedly)
I respect your herculean efforts to make sense of the degeneration towards what i would call ‘base animal tendencies’ of a branch of the school to which you have devoted so much.
I think you were very wise! You took the high ground and drew a line in the sand that sadly the grandmaster was unwilling to step across.
I hope that my post is not misinterpreted, it is meant to help heal what i imagine is a deep wound in your soul that probably still seems fresh even after years have passed
Events like this are inevitable however, momentum comes to a head like waves arriving at the shore and where in more primitive times or places often it was a deathmatch that culminated
power struggles concerning morality are increasingly becoming the climax of our lives
My honest interpretation (assuming the veracity of your evidence) is that sifu “gary” taught a different way. Letting it all hang out might sum it up, substance abuse, overt sexuality, and unrestricted verbal communication…
He just ran his class a bit differently and… Well… Stuff happened. Thats about all i know for sure post read.
You seem duty-bound to reject this teaching style outright, but this must be a mixture of sincerity along with self interest…
This is where these ever recurring issues always get muddled, because we are all in buisiness in one way or another (and legally accountable) and have not the luxury of acting based purely on honor or logic alone.
The last two paragraphs may seem harsh, or perhaps cynical, but this is where the injury occurs every time, when our responsibility to the truth interferes with our responsibility or obligation to others
I have always tried to uphold the truth and my own interpretation of honor, but invariably I end up leaving myself a way out of harms way if possible as well. thus is my soul tainted bit by bit
Its the old “i need to retain my authority to keep doing good” logical paradox (that pretty much everyone bows to these days)
To heal
You need to remember that what you and also what the grandmaster did were both correct.
You sensed a dire threat to the honor of the school and went to great lengths to defend the students from what you interpreted as reprehensible abusive behavior. Furthermore you wanted to stand up as an advocate for the individual students involved, several being married, there was a lot on the line.
Grandmaster knew that it had all been done under the sun a million times before, and that this was the natural evolution of a thriving school, which, not unlike a tree will make branches that reach to the sky, as well as those that bend low and touch the dirt.
Pruning the tree so that only the higher branches remain will result in a sometimes even-fatal top heaviness.
It is best to let nature run its course, strong living branches up top will snap in high wind, while lower down they fall due to gravity, usually several years after death by lack of sunlight. The result is the same you see
Your branch had to break off.
Martial arts instruction is a buisiness with a noble purpose, here we are back at the “need to maintain authority to continue doing good” paradox
Grandmasters first duty was the health of the tree. Without such a burden you were free to take sides and do as you thought best
My hope of hopes is that you can be at peace and know that this was all meant to be.
keep following your heart and if your fallen branch takes root and eventually branches out.
Remember the many lessons you learned along the way and be gentle when…
Well… The exact same thing happens again but this time you are the one in charge.
Most sincerely
-Carl
P.s. Feel free to edit, delete, reply to, or forward my comment to whom it may concern, I hope you do read it!
P.p.s. I based my response entirely on personal experience (which can be unreliable at times but is always stronger than second hand information)
P.p.p.s. Right and Wrong are always arguing about who is… Well… Right or wrong…
Err who will prevail…
Each needs the other to test themselves against and thus will not allow the other to be destroyed… Rendering any ultimate judgement impossible
inevitably they learn just how much they need each other and are thus tamed into sameness…
Either that or they just keep getting further apart, stop communicating, and eventually forget one another.
(Don’t know where this last bit came from but it seems relevant! (We are taught to bring the opposites together, the old tao “yinyang” symbol represents opposites that have reached a state of dynamic harmony and are well on their way toward becoming identical)
The alternative breakaway is bleak and cold, we are taught to avoid this route
Best wishes all and goodnight!
Sorry to write a novel and for my detached approach to morality… Just my style
What good is the tree if you allow termites to dwell within? The strength and value of any organisation is determined by how it treats its most vulnerable members. If the leader is willing to sacrifice the wellbeing and safety of some of their members for the sake of appearances or to avoid causing turbulence to the organisation’s structure, then they have truly poisoned their well and everyone that drinks from it. Everything about respecting one’s shifu/elders regardless of circumstances reeks of egocentricity and self indulgence, the complete antithesis of Buddhism. If one is truly seeking enlightenment and transcendence, then one must strip away pride. Betrayal is a label people place when pride is present. If there is no pride, then there is no betrayal. There is only right and wrong, to act virtuously in service of others without expectations of reward or to act in ways that harm others (respectfully).
Sexual abuse, rape, any sort of abuse or action where one or more people are hurt physically, emotionally or spiritually, is a textbook example of wrong. To defend someone who acted in this way is wrong. To defend someone who defends abusers is wrong. To act in any way that condones abuse is wrong.
If your teacher and/or organisation teaches you otherwise, and you choose to follow their teachings even after this article and my response, then at least be honest with yourself about why you are there in the first place. Because it certainly isn’t to follow the teachings of Buddha, or to seek enlightenment. Enlightenment is not possible when one holds on to the very toxic and very Earthly tendencies towards pride, lust, greed and wilful ignorance.
youre brainwashed bro, snap out of it
I appreciate the effort, Johnny, but don’t get your hopes up. Charles was a friend and we even shared a room during a course in Malaysia. It’s been nearly a decade and, to my knowledge, he still hasn’t snapped out of it.
As a survivor, this topic touches a particular ‘nerve.’
The courage to confront the elephant in the room is a trait of the road less traveled, it would seem.
I greatly appreciate your willingness to reconcile with Sifu Wong yet on terms of accountability. Admiration for authority does not mean allowance for above reproach.
To confront, with love, with spirit of support, with intent to balance the imbalance — one of the main goals of martial arts I see you promoting.
Oh Sifu . . . my heart breaks for you. I am crying as I write this. Anytime we are betrayed by someone we look up to and respect it is heart-breaking. And yet, it seems this situation comes up over and over again – in churches, in Boy Scouts, in martial arts studios. And the authority figure hides behind “don’t disrespect your teacher.” I have a swear word for that, but I won’t type it here. My brother just left a Zen Buddhist monastery after five years as a resident, for similar reasons. I stand with you. Sexual abuse is NEVER OK and it is high time we stopped blaming victims. I am honored to be associated with someone who has the courage to speak up, no matter what the cost. Sending you love and light. Dawn
Dawn,
I couldn’t agree with you more when you say “Sexual abuse is NEVER OK.”
I am very glad that our sifu in his writing, teaching and actions has made that very clear. It was, in fact, one of the first things that I read by our sifu. See this link http://www.shaolin.org/answers/ans00b/jul00-3.html to see our Sifu’s attitude towards teacher-student relations, among them: “Any teacher, often under the pretext of injecting power, enticing sexual favours from his female students is as disgusting as a brute forcing himself sexually on his daughters, even adapted daughters.”
Charles
I’m glad that you uncovered that old Q&A, Charles. It shows that the handling of Gary’s case has clearly deviated from the words expressed therein.
As you quoted, in the Q&A it is stated:
“In the Eastern tradition, it is most unbecoming for a master to have any sexual dealings with his students, male and female. He is a father to his students — not a friend, not a lover and certainly not a sex partner.
Any teacher, often under the pretext of injecting power, enticing sexual favours from his female students is as disgusting as a brute forcing himself sexually on his daughters, even adapted daughters.”
And yet, in a post to his instructors, Sifu wrote:
“I believe that when Gary had sex with other women, and I have no doubt that he did, he believed he was doing ‘good.’”
I see a huge contradiction here between the talk and the walk.
Sifu knew that Gary was sleeping with his students. He knew it was not an isolated instance. I tried to explain to Sifu in writing and in person that I have a big problem representing a school, which by not condemning, tacitly endorses teachers sleeping with their students.
As far as I am concerned, if a teacher is using his classes as a supply of sex partners, he has no business teaching those classes. It’s a massive breach of trust and predatory behaviour.
It wasn’t just seeing Gary’s photo in the front row of a course with Sifu that prompted my resignation. It was the knowledge that Gary was on his way back to the school, having been invited to organise courses for Sifu next year and Sifu having made it very clear that he wanted to bring Gary back.
I’m not going to chase you all over the comments, but I do want to point out that while you may find Anthony’s original blog post a “carefully crafted, selective, biased account”, to me it provides an accurate representation of the way this sorry story has unfolded.
I understand the pressure that you and the other Shaolin Wahnam instructors who have posted here must be under. I can imagine that there is a thread on the private Wahnam forum calling you all to arms and instructing how you should proceed. I can even detect Sifu’s words in some of the comments that have been made. Let’s not, however, lose sight of the basic fact that Gary was sleeping with his students (apart from all the other horrible abuse he is accused of). This, in itself should have been reason enough for action to be taken. And, by taking action, I don’t mean thanking Gary for all he has done and hoping conditions will change so that Gary can be welcomed back into the school.
Thank you for writing this. I completely agree Jeffrey.
Hi Jeffrey,
I don’t think anyone is going to argue this point:
“As far as I am concerned, if a teacher is using his classes as a supply of sex partners, he has no business teaching those classes. It’s a massive breach of trust and predatory behaviour.”
That being said, it is clear that, like Anthony, you believe you know better than Sifu how he should handle this case. This is purely arrogant.
Sifu has never said that what “Gary” did was acceptable. Indeed he made a public statement that sexual abuse was not tolerated in our school.
You wish Sifu to condemn and ostracize “Gary” based on allegations. I personally am happy to see the loyalty that Sifu is showing, in spite of a lack of understanding from some quarters.
I am under no pressure to post here or anywhere else; I have a rich family and social life that I enjoy very much. I do it out of gratitude and loyalty to my sifu. Also from a strong dislike of injustice.
If you hear some echoes of what our sifu has said that is good, you must have been doing a little listening while you were scoffing at the back of the class, feeling superior.
I’m addition to the stated, you clearly have other reasons for leaving the school.
Charles, are you referring to this public statement about the Shaolin Wahnam Teaching on Sexual Abuse where Sifu Wong wrote:
“We in Shaolin Wahnam are fortunate that this is not an issue in our school.”
Looking at the date of Sifu Wong’s statement, I can see that it was AFTER Sifu Wong heard directly from Trish.
Why would Sifu Wong post that publicly even after hearing directly from a victim of sexual abuse within the Shaolin Wahnam school?
And what about all of the other victims, who Sifu Wong has never spoken to, but I and other instructors have?
I echo David’s feelings of gratitude for you speaking up. And I agree with you as well!
I’m proud to be your student, Sifu, and grateful for the stance you have taken. I come from a strong Catholic background and the issues of sexual abuse that the church faced, and its response, comes from a similar playbook: protect the power structure and blame the victim or belittle the crime. There is no excuse for betraying trust, or damaging another human being for your own pleasure.
One can feel the pain in your words, but also see that you fought this battle as best you knew how. I hope you will continue to teach your wonderful arts to countless more for many decades. I will continue to bring my friends and family to you, all the more so knowing that you are truly an honorable man.
I also stand by you and appreciate how heartbreaking this whole process must have been. This has happened in many other traditions and I’ve known the cost to followers who challenge. He’s also sadly unaware of the psychology of abuse from a respected teacher — when the charisma of a teacher (male or female) is so great, one doesn’t want to believe their actions are seductive and is gradually led into entering a sexual relationship. This is what many victims of incest report. This is not a free choice and causes much psychological damage. We can appreciate Sigong Wong’s teachings and have some compassion for him as a prisoner of distorted thinking, — imprisoned by cultural values that support abuse at all costs.
This is very well expressed, you put my thoughts into words.
“Cultural values that support abuse at all costs”?
“Support abuse at all costs”?
Anthony? Is that the kind of thing you want your supporters to be writing?
Is that really what you mean to imply?
Sheesh.
Have the cultural values in play, in question in this case, not, through all effective measures, protected an abuser from all harm? Does that not constitute a costly endeavor?
Well said, Mary. The unequal power between teacher and student is not unlike incest. A teacher has the onus of responsibility to respect this power and to protect the student.
Sifu Anthony, you are strong and brave and I appreciate your heartbreaking journey to do what is right.
People here are really getting caught up in the emotional aspects of this situation. Might I suggest toning down the rhetoric, especially anything that suggests cultural superiority of any kind. Also bear in mind that sifu Wong is much wiser than any of us here…
This implicit appeal to “logic” is a common tactic used to downplay the seriousness and emotional consequences of unethical actions. We are human, and thus our feelings play into most everything we do. To try to separate the inseparable like this, we would be doing the people severely hurt a great disservice, and not extending compassion to their pain. This partially includes the folks coming here from Shaolin Wahnam, who are very obviously hurt and up-in-arms. We feel for you, really. We still aren’t going to agree with you, and think that all of this is okay. It’s not.
None of us with Sifu Anthony have said anything about superiority, despite multiple people trying to accuse us of it. Do you not see the contradiction in trying to denounce ‘superiority’, and then saying that Sifu Wong is “wiser than any of us here”?
Wow, wow, wow. Shocking news. Not even sure how to process all of this.
THANK YOU so much, Sifu for doing the right thing, and standing for justice, fairness, and right moral behavior. What a brave thing to do, when there is no way to predict the outcome of your choice to do the right thing. Scary if you ask me, but you do have those who will stand with you! (me, for one!)
One of my thoughts while processing this post, is how grateful I am that you have always taught your students to question everything, and in the words of Andy, above commenter: “not sacrifice our moral standards and our health under any circumstances”. I couldn’t have worded it better. It’s heartbreaking when someone we admire, respect and trust completely lets us down. But hopefully, helping you go through this will teach all of us how to stand up for what is right, and to care with love and compassion for our brothers and sisters who were wronged and hurting, and help each other heal, forgive, and find peace and joy once again.
To those who were abused by this man, if you are reading this: I cannot begin to express how deeply grateful I am for how brave you were in bringing all of this to light, and starting this chain of events so that what is right, true and good could once again be what is most important. Hopefully your action will prevent others from being treated the same way. I know your journey for healing has just begun, and please know that you have others out there (me, for one!) who will not stop praying for you in the coming weeks, months that you will have every ounce of strength needed to keep standing up for yourself, you will find loving support every time you need it, and that your worst days are behind you now.
And Sifu, I will be praying for you too. 🙂
It takes a huge amount of courage to speak truth to power, and the longer you continue to do it, the more courage it takes. It sounds like you did absolutely everything you could from the inside of the organization before you chose to leave it. I would guess you feel betrayed, even orphaned. It is hard to lose the adults more senior to you, whether they are parents or teachers.
I know I am extremely fortunate to be your student, and that I and many others have changed our lives through your instruction. From my point of view, your individual reputation has been enhanced by your thoughtful action, and I have faith that your teaching career will thrive in the long run.
As a victim of rape I appreciate your courage to speak up and support the abused. One never quite heals from abuse, but it does help when I see you take the stance you have – and I know it was at great cost to you. You have just opened yourself to receiving a multitude of blessings, Sifu. I hope you can quickly put the negativity behind you and move on to brighter horizons. You did the right thing. Big hugs and best wishes to you and yours. “Keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
Sifu,
My thoughts are with you during a painfully trying time. Thank you for the level of conviction and commitment to transparency you have shown us. You truly live up to the title of Sifu, as even the struggle you vulnerably narrate here serves the purpose of teaching.
The patriarchy that pervades our culture could have, for some, made this issue too easy to ignore or deem insignificant. But, like so many forms of injustice, it is not insignificant and should not be ignored.
Each of us, as beings in this space, are entangled in the hegemonic belief systems we were born into. They are apart of us, and they are not beautiful. They do violence against our spirits, hearts, souls, whatever. But what purpose does our practice, the thing that every reader of your blog shares, serve except to help us disentangle ourselves, freeing us to move with greater ease towards the realization of justice in the universe? If we miss that part, I think we miss the greatest benefit of qigong.
I find myself hoping that the victims and victimizers alike get free. Transparency about your struggle helps make that hope possible. Thank you.
Ryan
I support you and appreciate you 110% Sifu Anthony. Thank you.
Dudley
Wow. I can’t imagine the stress this would have caused. I agree with your stance and the thorough way you investigated this situation.
If nothing is said or done then things get worse bc everyone thinks it must be acceptable. I’ve known Anthony since he was 19 years old. He would never act for his own self interest in a situation such as this. His teacher made a big mistake and, as a result, he lost an excellent student in Anthony. He lost others as well & will continue to lose as this incident will be a growing cancer in his organisation.
Thank you Sensei! It’s good to hear from you. You honor me with your comment. Thank you for teaching me to take the good and discard the bad.
Character: You either have it, or you don’t. You do. He doesn’t. You told us in class that Sifu is a name of respect. He doesn’t deserve the name. You do. It is clear that you have struggled to bring him to truth, but he refuses to see, for whatever reason. You are courageous to take the path you have and are taking. We can only answer for our own deeds or lack thereof. His is on his own path, seeming lost from the true path. I applaud you and your truth. It is an honor to know such an honorable man.
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.
Haile Selassie
I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.
Elie Wiesel
Dear Anthony, I admire your courage and transparency in opening the subject and sharing your inner human struggle around what happened. It is never too late to listen to ones own heart and act appropriately with ethic and compassion. Many blessings to you.
XB
Oh Sifu,
I don’t have the words to express how sorry I am that this has occurred, and how proud and grateful I am to be your student. Thank you for your courage in taking the most difficult, but exceedingly correct action.
I hope you take some comfort in all the words and thoughts expressed here. You are supported and loved.
With Gratitude,
Robin
You’ve done a brave and wonderful thing by speaking out; giving the victims of all abuse a voice, and standing up for what you know in your heart is right.
Your courage will shine light in their lives and yours.
Thank you, Sifu Anthony, for doing the right thing – maintaining your integrity – showing us a graceful way to pick up one of the oldest gauntlets ever thrust before us … if graceful may describe such a difficult task. May you and your work continue to be blessed!
For someone who plans to go to a Intensive Shaolin Kungfu course this is a shock for me. I am not sure what I will do considering this information but I hope that sexual abuse does not happen again. If it does, actions should be taken to deter them from doing it again.
Culture clash, first class. Sad story, Sifu, but you did what you believed was right and that’s important. Must have been difficult and painful, this journey. Many will understand and support you, some may not. But you are your own Master. You have the right to go your own way.
With respect and appreciation,
Dagmar
I am one of the instructors Anthony mentions in his post. I recently resigned as Chief Instructor of Shaolin Wahnam Australia over this issue. I had been an instructor since 2002. As far as I know, Anthony’s portrayal of events is factual and his post has my complete support.
Thank you, Anthony for your courage in writing and publishing this post.
Thanks for posting. Your corroboration is really valuable for taking this forward.
Thank you for verifying, Jeffrey. Your collaboration is important, and I’m glad Sifu Anthony has your support.
I also thank you for speaking up! I am grateful for your response, it is so important.
I didn’t read all of the post, but did anyone ever question Gary?
Maybe you should read the post?
Thank you for sharing these details, giving each of us the opportunity to respond from a place of knowledge and personal values rather than blind loyalty or sound bites. For me, protecting the master over the well being of students is difficult to fathom.
Thank you resigning. Thank you for doing your part in standing up for victims. Thank you for maintaining our ability to trust you.
I am so proud of you. By doing this you have helped so many victims. inspired so many people to be honest and come forth both the teachers and students. People all over the world are suffering because individuals don’t do anything about things like this. This took tremendous strength and courage. Good for you.
Even if the first of the the Ten Shaolin Laws is:
Respect the master, honor the moral way, and love fellow students as you would your brothers and sisters.
There are 4 laws that state:
Never rape, molest, steal, rob, abduct, cheat, or lie.
Never associate yourself with evil people; never do any sort of evil yourself.
Never abuse power, be it official or physical; never oppress or bully people.
Be humane and compassionate; strive to spread peace and happiness.
I cannot respect people who only adhere to the laws that suite them and ignore the rest.
I’m sorry you had to make the decision you did but thank you for doing it.
Thank you for bringing this out into the light. I think that your actions show exceptional moral character and resolve. I know that all of your students support you.
As someone who has worked with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, you have my full support Sifu. These acts thrive in darkness and silence, ignorance, and misconception. What you have done is highly commendable. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate seeing your account and analysis of the events. You have shined the light upon something that many would have turned away from, knowing what the pursuit would have ultimately meant personally. I can’t even begin to express to you how proud I am to be your student. I also appreciate how much you invested personally of your time and energy to get to the bottom of what was going on, how much you valued the stories and experiences of those who suffered at the hands of this instructor. And, how much you loved and valued your teacher enough to try and give him the opportunity to change his heart. You are an amazing individual. It is a sad thing to me that many still equate rape with sex. Rape is not about sex. It is about power and control and the arguments based on the enjoyment of or the actual sexual act or prowess are erroneous. Again, thank you so very much for your honor and integrity. In a world where there seems to be so few people in positions of power that exhibit these qualities, it is nice to know that you are embodied.
Sifu Anthony,
My heart is heavy for you.
My heart is filled with joy for you
that you found the courage to do the right thing.
As a student of yours I am proud to call you Sifu.
May you find peace…
About two years ago, I felt I needed to make changes in my life, regain health, clarity, inner peace. I felt I needed to return to martial arts, after many years, but not like before. Without knowing how, I found (or was guided by some invisible force) master Kourahis site. I read the free book that he sent me, I started to practice qigong and to be assiduous frequenter of this site. I wrote him to thank and he was kind enough to exchange a few emails with me.
And so began a great time in my life, with the precious help of this man who inspired me confidence from the start. I was not wrong.It takes character to leave our comfort zone and follow the voice of conscience. In my opinion, humility is an essential characteristic of a good leader. And here you have.
You took the best possible decision, and you have our support.
M.
I haven’t been active at Flowing Zen for awhile but I support your decision without qualification and thank you for making the stand! It was difficult and courageous certainly but more importantly it was necessary. Again thanks!
Sifu Anthony,
My heart also goes out to you. When I read the subject line, before reading the details, I thought about how hard it would be for ME to resign from YOU, no matter what. My 5 years with you have been life changing and I’m so grateful to you and the arts you teach.
I’m still trying to absorb the depth of the anguish you have experienced for so long! I’m honored to be one of so many who are expressing their support, gratitude, and compassion for you. I also stand with you as we hold the
High Watch.
Anne
Dear Sifu Anthony,
Sorry to hear that you experinced this with someone you have respected all these years. It is not easy. I am glad you shared this. I am sure this will help protect the new students in that environment. Thank you for being you. With my best wishes,
I am so proud of you, and very grateful to have you as my sifu. This is a heart-rending situation, and difficult on so many levels. But your actions are more than honorable. They are virtuous, courageous, and noble.
This is more than a clash of cultural values, Eastern views vs Western views. Cultures can differ on issues like the amount of respect due to elders or the value of non-traditional medical approaches. But some issues transcend culture: that many cultures have condoned slavery will never overcome the absolute and unchanging wrongness of slavery. Likewise, sexual abuse is not an issue that admits of cultural relativity – it is heinous, everywhere and every time. This should be especially appreciated in the martial arts. Without developing higher morals, we are only training to be better-equipped thugs. Rather, let us live so as to be the protectors of others.
You have worked hard at training us to act virtuously, treating both ourselves and others in a more worthy fashion. Your action today is one more lesson in how to live properly.
I believe it is exactly as bad as you say.
I can’t not believe it, as women still do not have full and supreme sovereignty over our own bodies. The natural functionality of a woman’s body is legislated and controlled at the highest level of government. It is in the hands of those physically stronger whether or not we are safe to leave our homes, live our lives.
I am saddened to hear of this tragedy, but unfortunately I am not surprised. Questioning everything is about survival for many women worldwide.
This might seem like splitting hairs, but I don’t think Sifu Wong is saying that he believes the sexual contact was consensual. He’s simply saying he’d rather not know or care either way, and it’s much easier and less messy to assume Gary is not lying to save his skin.
Turning a blind eye because sexual degradation and assault of someone weaker or less powerful is so common perpetuates more of it.
I appreciate you, Sifu Anthony, for not turning a blind eye. I can only hope the victims receive the support they need to heal and that there is a legal standing to remove this man from society.
Support you wholeheartedly, may you find comfort and strength from all of us that stand behind you decision.
This kind of topic is always a delicate matter to discuss. even more to share . But I believe you did the right thing Sifu . Nobody should be above principles .
With Empathy, Compassion, and Gratitude.
Thank you, Anthony
I may be thousands of miles away but I can still feel the pain you must have gone through.
Thank you for sharing, my thoughts are with you.
This stance is a true warrior’s posture.
I have read your story and since I am not part of your tradition nor into this Sifu deciple stuff. I thought I’d give a reaction. When you have been betrayed the way you and your colleges are. How can you still love your Sifu and not your college Gary; the abuser. Because to my opion they’re one of a kind. Namely both are corrupted by power. By still giving respect to your Sifu Wong despite your resignation, you’re doing exactly the same thing what you’re accusing him of doing. Maybe there has been something lost down the way in the tradition you cherish.
Dear Sifu,
As others have said, I feel so sad for all that you have gone through and are suffering now. I support you completely. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You do not need to apologize. You have done more toward good in this than anyone save the poor victim who came forward with you. As a survivor myself, I, too, feel this deeply. My first thought was to wonder if perhaps your Sifu has begun to succumb to the depredations of age and has become paranoid? If he made mistakes in judgment due to approaching senility, might he then have also tried to cover up the issue with ego and hubris? It is so painful to see how many cultures think nothing of those in power treating people as cattle, women particularly. You are completely right in all that you have said and done. I sorrow at the feeling of betrayal and disillusionment you must feel about your adored sifu. Your courage is heroic and admirable. Please, take heart and strength from all of us who support you. Sending good thoughts your way.
Dear Sifu,
My heart breaks for the suffering this has caused you, the abuse victims, and others in the Shaolin Wahnam organization. I support you and stand with you. I am proud of you and honored to be your student “daughter.”
Sifu, thank you so much on behalf of all rape victims. It is brave men like you who are needed in society to remind those who have let their arrogance and base nature influence their beliefs and actions (or lack thereof). You are a true warrior and an honorable man.
Dear Sifu Anthony, this time again you proved that you are a great person and showed the example. What you did wasn’t easy, I can’t even imagine myself in that situation…From what I could read you absolutely did the right thing. Please don’t blame yourself for not telling this before or for resigning. You chose the right path I believe. Thank you and please continue to inspire us 🙂