I don’t know where to begin. I’m not sure what I could say that makes this process make sense. The phrase “being”… feels so profoundly powerful. Being erases everything about yourself or what the sense of self is. The old version of our sense of self. It does feel like dying.
I don’t know many people personally to share this experience with. I think we are kin when it comes to this is. I’ve been dying for a very long time. For years. I don’t mean just the slow march to our grave. I mean the version of myself that is disappearing. Dissolving. What are your thoughts about shedding our old skin like snakes? What are your experiences with the nature of change? Why do we change? I think it’s okay to feel uncertain and uncomfortable. The lotus in the mud also illustrates symbolically how chaotic and messy the world around us is. How our inner world’s respond to it. There are days where I am just completely present, being and yet I dissolve away to become something else that wants to take my hand and guide me to a place of uncertainty. Perhaps you are right when you say the hell with enlightenment or I don’t trust enlightenment anymore. I want to share this journey with others like us.